High class?

Had company 25th Anniversary dinner today! And all the "M"s (aka Ministers) came and chairman of board, MM Lee also came. So it was all high class and everything with our cocktail dresses and men in their suits and ties @ Ritz Carlton. We had our tom yam cream soup, crabs, and cod fish etc. I enjoyed sitting with my table...and laughing with my colleagues. Other then that I was a bit shocked that the scene before me was a scene that I had always aspired towards when young. One of those scenes where all the big shots will be in a hotel ballroom, and I in my lovely dress, mingling with the crowd. Of cos tonight I did not mingle with any crowd, cos I don't know many people except some colleagues. What I felt within was not a happiness at coming closer to my "dream", cos it seems like this was no longer my dream, to be some big shot and high classed person, with my suit and strutting around in high heels. Though in my heart, I was thankful and privileged, to be able to enjoy the food laid before me, and I know that I was just so very very blessed to come from my background and being able to live in Singapore and getting this job at GIC.
Perhaps, somewhere along the line, the attractiveness of this dream had diminished. And instead, what I long for, is simplicity. And indeed, where I can be where the hurting are and be healing them.
I know this sounds a bit flaky. Y can't I just enjoy my high class meal for its own sake. Why must I be analysing all that? I really don't know. MrForest says its like Matrix, where u step into a world and see things that others don't see.
So how...the dream that I aspired towards has ceased to be my dream. I guess...let this be a season of waiting, where God will birth within me a new dream. :)