Heh
just went thru my first week of work.
Actually it has been pretty ok for the first week, left work at 6pm everyday. Every morning I have lecture on one of the systems that the co. uses. And then in the afternoon I have lunch with the grp of newbies..and after tat sit in front of the comp and read the handbook and notes for the systems.
In the mornings...I try and keep awake. Its really difficult to do so. The systems are q technical. And also I sleep late at nite..like tues after leaders meeting i was home abt 12 plus and slept at 1 plus..woke at 645. And in the middle of the nite I also woke up. Not tat restful.
Then had a very bad sore throat since monday to wed...felt like a fish bone stuck in my throat. Drank lotsa water, chrysanthemum tea. Ate Yin Qiao..
thankfully today I am well again!! Yay...
and I can sleep in. :)
So happy.
Had a good cg meeting today abt commitment. Feel that the message was just rite for the cg. :) yeah. Committed to one another and committed to church yah?
Andrew came back on Mon and we had dinner with Kaian on wed. Heh. Things are moving for the forum. The one I been losing sleep over, so quite glad tat that's a load tat is halved. Yeah. And it was good catching up on wed, he had chicken rice..a luxury after his european days. I think things are good. The connection is still there, but in a way, things have changed. And that's really good too. Heh. :)
Ok gonna rest liao...
tmr still got concert! nite!
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Sunday, May 22, 2005
The market place
Just got home from church...wow...quite tired and sleepy but it was a tremendous sermon today at church. Very powerful and impacting.
Today Pastor talked abt Marketplace christians. We are all anointed to be his ministers in the marketplace. One of the examples he gave blew me away. There was an indonesian businessman who owned many motels and has 2000 workers under him. One day at his board room, he gave his heart to Jesus and committed the company to God. Next he hired 40 pastors to come to his office. He told the 40 pastors to talk and mingle with the staff everyday. Pray for them for their needs, and they were NOT to share the gospel until a miracle took place thru the prayers they made for the staff. Within 2.5 years, all of the staff received Christ.
The motels that he owned were frequented by prostitutes. He converted them to executive hotels, cos prostitutes could not afford them. And in those motels that still existed, the receptionist told visitors that there were people interceeding and praying for them 24 hrs, and to feel free to ask for help if it was needed. Prayer chapels were set up in the motel. Thousands of customers received Christ within 1.5 years.
Such a powerful testimony.
I pray tat I may make an impact in the company that I work for too. The message confirmed and reminded me of my calling and my vision. :)
In this vision, once again, I saw faces in front of me. Faces who needed God's love. People from all walks in front of me..so near.
---
Grateful for a public holiday tmr to chill out. Having lunch with HY and terence tmr. I'm slowly being eased into the working world. Starting a new life, new environment, within I am filled with apprehensions. It is a transition to a whole new world.
On friday, Agnes, a newcomer like me, came for her first day of work. I am grateful for her. She is 2 years older than me. Haha..and we newbies...together with some other newbies from other departments went for lunch together. Erk..at some Samy's place with food costing abt 7.50. Wahz..so expensive. :( But it was good company...and I feel comfy.
The next few days till 31st MAy I will still be under training in the mornings. In the afternoons it is Q&A time as well as some on the job training. I am immensely grateful tat I am not thrown into the dark waters to sink, but slowly I am being eased into the new environment.
And indeed the Lord will give me strength to be a minister in my environment and to continue to lead the youth cg. Thank you God. :) Youths...
Every youth has the potential to go this way or tat. Every day is a new challenge, but every person is so unique and special in God's eyes...
And He loves every single soul so much..with all of His love.
If He did not spare His only son, why would He withhold other things from us? Are the things we desire more costly than His son?
Trusting in a big God..and God almighty. Who is the God of heavens and earth. At the end, we try our best, we walk our best and we trust Him. God almighty.
I love u Jesus!
Thank u for giving me the chance to live again..
Today Pastor talked abt Marketplace christians. We are all anointed to be his ministers in the marketplace. One of the examples he gave blew me away. There was an indonesian businessman who owned many motels and has 2000 workers under him. One day at his board room, he gave his heart to Jesus and committed the company to God. Next he hired 40 pastors to come to his office. He told the 40 pastors to talk and mingle with the staff everyday. Pray for them for their needs, and they were NOT to share the gospel until a miracle took place thru the prayers they made for the staff. Within 2.5 years, all of the staff received Christ.
The motels that he owned were frequented by prostitutes. He converted them to executive hotels, cos prostitutes could not afford them. And in those motels that still existed, the receptionist told visitors that there were people interceeding and praying for them 24 hrs, and to feel free to ask for help if it was needed. Prayer chapels were set up in the motel. Thousands of customers received Christ within 1.5 years.
Such a powerful testimony.
I pray tat I may make an impact in the company that I work for too. The message confirmed and reminded me of my calling and my vision. :)
In this vision, once again, I saw faces in front of me. Faces who needed God's love. People from all walks in front of me..so near.
---
Grateful for a public holiday tmr to chill out. Having lunch with HY and terence tmr. I'm slowly being eased into the working world. Starting a new life, new environment, within I am filled with apprehensions. It is a transition to a whole new world.
On friday, Agnes, a newcomer like me, came for her first day of work. I am grateful for her. She is 2 years older than me. Haha..and we newbies...together with some other newbies from other departments went for lunch together. Erk..at some Samy's place with food costing abt 7.50. Wahz..so expensive. :( But it was good company...and I feel comfy.
The next few days till 31st MAy I will still be under training in the mornings. In the afternoons it is Q&A time as well as some on the job training. I am immensely grateful tat I am not thrown into the dark waters to sink, but slowly I am being eased into the new environment.
And indeed the Lord will give me strength to be a minister in my environment and to continue to lead the youth cg. Thank you God. :) Youths...
Every youth has the potential to go this way or tat. Every day is a new challenge, but every person is so unique and special in God's eyes...
And He loves every single soul so much..with all of His love.
If He did not spare His only son, why would He withhold other things from us? Are the things we desire more costly than His son?
Trusting in a big God..and God almighty. Who is the God of heavens and earth. At the end, we try our best, we walk our best and we trust Him. God almighty.
I love u Jesus!
Thank u for giving me the chance to live again..
Thursday, May 19, 2005
First day of work
Today I din have much to do..learnt abt the HR policies and also abt the facilities and code of ethics. Then had lunch with my boss and a few other newcomers. I was so amazed by their efficiency. They made the access card for me already, and on the spot, made me a GIC card with my picture on it. And also..my workstation has my name on top, and my drawer is filled with stationary. My computer is a flat screen..very spacious work station. And on my table were a stack of name cards customised for me! Wow.
My boss is a super duper nice guy. He is the deputy director but he has no airs. He is so smart from the way he interacted with ple and the opinions he gave. I feel comfy.
Yah..aniwae my colleagues are quite old..maybe late 20s? My boss is in his late 30s...So gotto adapt. I got a fren from uni in another division of the same department though. Quite good but we are on different floors.
The highlight came at almost the end of the day, my director came over and said, I have great news for u on ur first day of work. And guess wat, they increased my pay starting from june by 300 dollars higher. They adjusted it to the latest mkt rates. I'm so happy. Tats like exceedingly abundantly above wat I was asking for. :) Thank you God.
My boss is a super duper nice guy. He is the deputy director but he has no airs. He is so smart from the way he interacted with ple and the opinions he gave. I feel comfy.
Yah..aniwae my colleagues are quite old..maybe late 20s? My boss is in his late 30s...So gotto adapt. I got a fren from uni in another division of the same department though. Quite good but we are on different floors.
The highlight came at almost the end of the day, my director came over and said, I have great news for u on ur first day of work. And guess wat, they increased my pay starting from june by 300 dollars higher. They adjusted it to the latest mkt rates. I'm so happy. Tats like exceedingly abundantly above wat I was asking for. :) Thank you God.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Healed!
I've recovered from my flu.
Haha. Sneezed the whole day thru friday..and sat was Sarina and Ivan's wedding. Woke up at 830am...ate breakfast and deliberated for 15 min to fall back to bed and say sorrie tat I am sick. But cruxified the flesh and went down. The wedding was so sweet..hehe.. the "I do" part and the exchanging of vows. I'm looking forward to my own wedding already. Anyone wanna marry me? :)
U noe wat...two are better than one. I know tat the one I marry..we will serve God together and give our lives to Him. Tat will be the best marriage I ever have..to gaze at each other's eyes..and to gaze at the Lord's eyes haha.
O well. Anyway was still sick..and went for dinner yesterday with the JC frens. Agnes told us the horrendous working hrs she had. She ends at 3am some of the days in the week? Uhh...ya..and work starts the next day at 830am again. Hrmph. I'm not especially looking forward to the start of my work. It is mixed feelings.
First of all i noe it is a gift fr God. ANything fr Him is GOOD! And it is a new start for me. Well the other part of it is tat I no longer have my lunch, tea time free to do visitations, bible studies and meet up with people. :( Leaves me the nite to do it..to meet up with ple. I hope tat ple will be willing to come down to my office to look for me.
I am optimistic however, and have made a decision tat I will not be bitter, cynical person. I will be strong, and pass thru the fires. I wanna be a woman of God! A woman of courage and strength.
YUps..aniwae this morning, I woke up at 715am. Cruxified the flesh again. Went for the morning service. It was great! The afternoon one too! :)
Pastor said smthing very interesting:
Jacob, was at the hse of "nuts". And the parallel was, many of the non-believers when they see christians so fervent in our church, they thot tat we are "nuts". However, when Jacob had an encounter with God, he changed and he said, this was the house of God, and the gates of heaven. How wonderful! One day, I pray all the readers of my blog will have an encounter with Jesus. And u will noe that I am not nuts in seeking after Him!
Pastor mentioned tat leaders gotto have the capacity to take it. He says everyday,u get bombarded with emails/letters/phonecalls. Complaints, bills. Hoho..
But we gotto be overcomers! We make a decision to be positive.
Okies dokes, enuff from me!
Haha. Sneezed the whole day thru friday..and sat was Sarina and Ivan's wedding. Woke up at 830am...ate breakfast and deliberated for 15 min to fall back to bed and say sorrie tat I am sick. But cruxified the flesh and went down. The wedding was so sweet..hehe.. the "I do" part and the exchanging of vows. I'm looking forward to my own wedding already. Anyone wanna marry me? :)
U noe wat...two are better than one. I know tat the one I marry..we will serve God together and give our lives to Him. Tat will be the best marriage I ever have..to gaze at each other's eyes..and to gaze at the Lord's eyes haha.
O well. Anyway was still sick..and went for dinner yesterday with the JC frens. Agnes told us the horrendous working hrs she had. She ends at 3am some of the days in the week? Uhh...ya..and work starts the next day at 830am again. Hrmph. I'm not especially looking forward to the start of my work. It is mixed feelings.
First of all i noe it is a gift fr God. ANything fr Him is GOOD! And it is a new start for me. Well the other part of it is tat I no longer have my lunch, tea time free to do visitations, bible studies and meet up with people. :( Leaves me the nite to do it..to meet up with ple. I hope tat ple will be willing to come down to my office to look for me.
I am optimistic however, and have made a decision tat I will not be bitter, cynical person. I will be strong, and pass thru the fires. I wanna be a woman of God! A woman of courage and strength.
YUps..aniwae this morning, I woke up at 715am. Cruxified the flesh again. Went for the morning service. It was great! The afternoon one too! :)
Pastor said smthing very interesting:
Jacob, was at the hse of "nuts". And the parallel was, many of the non-believers when they see christians so fervent in our church, they thot tat we are "nuts". However, when Jacob had an encounter with God, he changed and he said, this was the house of God, and the gates of heaven. How wonderful! One day, I pray all the readers of my blog will have an encounter with Jesus. And u will noe that I am not nuts in seeking after Him!
Pastor mentioned tat leaders gotto have the capacity to take it. He says everyday,u get bombarded with emails/letters/phonecalls. Complaints, bills. Hoho..
But we gotto be overcomers! We make a decision to be positive.
Okies dokes, enuff from me!
Friday, May 13, 2005
Honouring our leaders
Today's entry is to honour 2 leaders:
Pastor Kong, Pastor Sun
Yesterday when Pstor Phil prayed for the pastors, I felt this emotion surging up within me. I wanted to cry. Momentarily, God allowed me to to feel the huge burden they carry.
If as a cgl, I feel burdened, how about pastor?
Under Pastor's leadership are 18,000 people.
City Harvest Church is the church that I belong too. I am NOT ashamed even though there are people who think negatively of it.
A revival is passing thru our church. During the conference, hands upraised to God..to worship Him, and tears in our eyes. People jumping up and down to praise Him. Hearts are getting excited, and lives are being touched.
This church is built on men and women who sacrificed their lives in obedience to God's calling. People who skip meals, people who take cabs all the way to Jurong. People who will pray overnight, visit and talk to mbrs at wee hours. People who will sacrifice sleep for the gospel.
I am so so proud to be part of this church, my family.
Pastor Kong, my spiritual father.
Sleeps a few hours a day. Heard that on some days, he stays overnight to write the devotional journals for the members. On other days, he flies long hrs to speak at conferences. Every weekend, he preaches the same message 7 times. He ministers to us. Sitting in the audi...ple come in yearning for a touch fr God. MAny come in as pew warmers..they cry "feed me feed me!"
Pastor Sun
Amidst the criticsm, she stands strong. Ever had the feeling of being misunderstood? Take watever feeling u have and multiply it by the population in Singapore.
Wherever she went she sang, danced with ALL of her might. If u dunno by now, in her concerts overseas, she won 100,000 souls to Christ. After her concerts in taiwan, indonesia, HK, china she shares her testimony on how God changed her life. How abt the followup? Our church mbrs go there to train ple so tat they are equipped to build their own local churches. :)
Thank God for the men and women of God. :)
Pastor Kong, Pastor Sun
Yesterday when Pstor Phil prayed for the pastors, I felt this emotion surging up within me. I wanted to cry. Momentarily, God allowed me to to feel the huge burden they carry.
If as a cgl, I feel burdened, how about pastor?
Under Pastor's leadership are 18,000 people.
City Harvest Church is the church that I belong too. I am NOT ashamed even though there are people who think negatively of it.
A revival is passing thru our church. During the conference, hands upraised to God..to worship Him, and tears in our eyes. People jumping up and down to praise Him. Hearts are getting excited, and lives are being touched.
This church is built on men and women who sacrificed their lives in obedience to God's calling. People who skip meals, people who take cabs all the way to Jurong. People who will pray overnight, visit and talk to mbrs at wee hours. People who will sacrifice sleep for the gospel.
I am so so proud to be part of this church, my family.
Pastor Kong, my spiritual father.
Sleeps a few hours a day. Heard that on some days, he stays overnight to write the devotional journals for the members. On other days, he flies long hrs to speak at conferences. Every weekend, he preaches the same message 7 times. He ministers to us. Sitting in the audi...ple come in yearning for a touch fr God. MAny come in as pew warmers..they cry "feed me feed me!"
Pastor Sun
Amidst the criticsm, she stands strong. Ever had the feeling of being misunderstood? Take watever feeling u have and multiply it by the population in Singapore.
Wherever she went she sang, danced with ALL of her might. If u dunno by now, in her concerts overseas, she won 100,000 souls to Christ. After her concerts in taiwan, indonesia, HK, china she shares her testimony on how God changed her life. How abt the followup? Our church mbrs go there to train ple so tat they are equipped to build their own local churches. :)
Thank God for the men and women of God. :)
Thursday, May 12, 2005
The dream cycle
It was an awesome nite with Pastor Phil. Tuesday was good, wednesday was even better. :)
Pastor shared from Titus 1:5. Wow..He had such amazing revelations from one verse! God left us in this world for a reason.
When you want to be a man/woman of God, there will be D-days in our lives
1. Disillusionment
2. Discouragement
3. Depression
4. Death
Depression. I love this bit. It was defined as a black pit with slippery slides, on a snowy day, with a lion in the pit.
That is when, u gotto PULL out the word of God and defeat the lion.
Death....
Sometimes our dream dies.
God waits until the dream is so totally dead so that He can resurrect it again.
Isa 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
When God is your God, you will not be dismayed.
But when your dream is your God, you will be dismayed.
I wanted to type this entry to encourage u guys who have been going thru a difficult patch.
I remember many times that my dream had died.
I had wanted to be a cgl since about two years after I became a christian. I only became one five years later.
Ushering
I started off as an usher in the church. And even then I couldn't come for all the support duties and serve at seminars. My parents scolded me whenever I was home late. I COULD NOT attend nite bible study classes. I could NOT attend cg meetings.
After 6 months of cg-lessness I made a stand, went for CG regularly.
I started off with one nite of bible studies. Then two nites, and then one day I made a stand and went for all three nites.
It was awesome.
It was Pastor Phil's conference. Back then, it was at World Trade Centre. I never forget...how I wore my VJC uniform, and brought my formal clothes along, and even shoes, and rushed to the toilet to change.
During THAT particular meeting, I experienced God in a very tangible manner. The closest I ever felt with Him. And it was there and then I knew and knew for sure that God was real.
Went for many conferences, can't remember exactly which one. And during those conferences, I always had a vision. A vision of masses of faces in front of me, and I was preaching to them. And when I spoke, people teared, hearts got healed.
Back to ushering..I was still a small usher, very disatisfied. And I asked God, can I become an IC?
One nite in my room, I was praying and the Holy Spirit asked me, "XJ, if you were not to become a leader, will u still serve me?"
I went...YEs...and I broke down.
For then God checked my heart. XJ..why do u wanna be a leader? To get the glory and fame? Or was it because u loved me?
After the "death" of that dream, I suddenly had more responsiblities in usher. I started helping my usher ic to do followup.
But my dream...was to be a cgl.
There are many other exciting things that happened in between. But to cut the long story short...
In Dec 2002, I went to the leadership training course. It was GREAT. The cg was supposed to multiply in June 2003. I started leading praise and worship. As it drew nearer to June 2003...the cg didn't grow, and it din look like it was gonna multiply.
I remember one time after service, as I was talking to vene, I started to cry. Cos I felt I couldn't make it. My praise...when I led praise, I was filled with fear. And dread. And I asked her, can I really be a cgl or not? I think I am not cut for it.
We shifted the target to Dec 2003. I needed time to grow.
Dec 2003, the cg didn't multiply.
My peers had all taken their respective cg. One year later, I am still PCGL.
Haha....
And I remember Pastor Ulf came for conference then.
And my peers were being prayed for? And during the worship, I felt His touch, and He said wait..and to trust. And again the death of my dream..
I said tat doesn't matter if I am a leader or not, I just wanted to dwell in His presence.
April 2004..I took over the cg. Vene went to take another cg.
The cg was dry..week after week..the same faces...
Sis Jo came to evaluate the cg, she said...she thinks I may need some more time to do understudy under another leader. I was all ready to step down. But i didn't feel the peace. I didn't feel the joy. I felt DOWN. I felt discouraged.
After one week of praying, I met pastor. Pastor asked me if I wanted to continue. I said yes I did. And she gave me a chance.
The cg disbanded in Oct 2004.
I was BROKEN.
I told God I cannot take it any more...
Please deliver me.
In those most days, as I sat into Roy's cg meetings, God touched me and renewed me. ROy gave me a lot of encouragement...and I was refreshed.
Time to start again!! Amen. Now a new cg...revival and growth!
But it didn't grow...
Steph and ryan backslided.
Today I still grieve for them.
Feb 2005 D-day.
Three of my girls wanted to change cg. One girl said she was not growing in my cg, she said none of my business which cg she wanted to go to. She said I was out of line in lecturing her.
Pastor said I lack communications skills.
Those days I almost cried every nite.
But I broke thru. During Pastor Ulf's meeting again.
And again.
The circumstances didn't change. But I did.
Pastor came to sit into cg, she said I improved a lot in my preaching. And then when Pastor Kong prayed for me, I felt the Holy Spirit said, I have called you to leadership.
Yesterday during the meeting...
I gave it all to God once again.
Now..the thing changed...
God ask me a new thing. He said "XJ, why do u wan the cg to grow?"
The ans would be I want people to know God..and to experience His love.
And then He searched my heart...
Did i wanna grow it so tat ple will say..wow, xj, great leader, brought revival to her cg?
The Holy SPirit prompted...He said some more some more..
some more brokenness.
ALmost there.
Seems like there is still a long way to go. :)
Pastor shared from Titus 1:5. Wow..He had such amazing revelations from one verse! God left us in this world for a reason.
When you want to be a man/woman of God, there will be D-days in our lives
1. Disillusionment
2. Discouragement
3. Depression
4. Death
Depression. I love this bit. It was defined as a black pit with slippery slides, on a snowy day, with a lion in the pit.
That is when, u gotto PULL out the word of God and defeat the lion.
Death....
Sometimes our dream dies.
God waits until the dream is so totally dead so that He can resurrect it again.
Isa 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
When God is your God, you will not be dismayed.
But when your dream is your God, you will be dismayed.
I wanted to type this entry to encourage u guys who have been going thru a difficult patch.
I remember many times that my dream had died.
I had wanted to be a cgl since about two years after I became a christian. I only became one five years later.
Ushering
I started off as an usher in the church. And even then I couldn't come for all the support duties and serve at seminars. My parents scolded me whenever I was home late. I COULD NOT attend nite bible study classes. I could NOT attend cg meetings.
After 6 months of cg-lessness I made a stand, went for CG regularly.
I started off with one nite of bible studies. Then two nites, and then one day I made a stand and went for all three nites.
It was awesome.
It was Pastor Phil's conference. Back then, it was at World Trade Centre. I never forget...how I wore my VJC uniform, and brought my formal clothes along, and even shoes, and rushed to the toilet to change.
During THAT particular meeting, I experienced God in a very tangible manner. The closest I ever felt with Him. And it was there and then I knew and knew for sure that God was real.
Went for many conferences, can't remember exactly which one. And during those conferences, I always had a vision. A vision of masses of faces in front of me, and I was preaching to them. And when I spoke, people teared, hearts got healed.
Back to ushering..I was still a small usher, very disatisfied. And I asked God, can I become an IC?
One nite in my room, I was praying and the Holy Spirit asked me, "XJ, if you were not to become a leader, will u still serve me?"
I went...YEs...and I broke down.
For then God checked my heart. XJ..why do u wanna be a leader? To get the glory and fame? Or was it because u loved me?
After the "death" of that dream, I suddenly had more responsiblities in usher. I started helping my usher ic to do followup.
But my dream...was to be a cgl.
There are many other exciting things that happened in between. But to cut the long story short...
In Dec 2002, I went to the leadership training course. It was GREAT. The cg was supposed to multiply in June 2003. I started leading praise and worship. As it drew nearer to June 2003...the cg didn't grow, and it din look like it was gonna multiply.
I remember one time after service, as I was talking to vene, I started to cry. Cos I felt I couldn't make it. My praise...when I led praise, I was filled with fear. And dread. And I asked her, can I really be a cgl or not? I think I am not cut for it.
We shifted the target to Dec 2003. I needed time to grow.
Dec 2003, the cg didn't multiply.
My peers had all taken their respective cg. One year later, I am still PCGL.
Haha....
And I remember Pastor Ulf came for conference then.
And my peers were being prayed for? And during the worship, I felt His touch, and He said wait..and to trust. And again the death of my dream..
I said tat doesn't matter if I am a leader or not, I just wanted to dwell in His presence.
April 2004..I took over the cg. Vene went to take another cg.
The cg was dry..week after week..the same faces...
Sis Jo came to evaluate the cg, she said...she thinks I may need some more time to do understudy under another leader. I was all ready to step down. But i didn't feel the peace. I didn't feel the joy. I felt DOWN. I felt discouraged.
After one week of praying, I met pastor. Pastor asked me if I wanted to continue. I said yes I did. And she gave me a chance.
The cg disbanded in Oct 2004.
I was BROKEN.
I told God I cannot take it any more...
Please deliver me.
In those most days, as I sat into Roy's cg meetings, God touched me and renewed me. ROy gave me a lot of encouragement...and I was refreshed.
Time to start again!! Amen. Now a new cg...revival and growth!
But it didn't grow...
Steph and ryan backslided.
Today I still grieve for them.
Feb 2005 D-day.
Three of my girls wanted to change cg. One girl said she was not growing in my cg, she said none of my business which cg she wanted to go to. She said I was out of line in lecturing her.
Pastor said I lack communications skills.
Those days I almost cried every nite.
But I broke thru. During Pastor Ulf's meeting again.
And again.
The circumstances didn't change. But I did.
Pastor came to sit into cg, she said I improved a lot in my preaching. And then when Pastor Kong prayed for me, I felt the Holy Spirit said, I have called you to leadership.
Yesterday during the meeting...
I gave it all to God once again.
Now..the thing changed...
God ask me a new thing. He said "XJ, why do u wan the cg to grow?"
The ans would be I want people to know God..and to experience His love.
And then He searched my heart...
Did i wanna grow it so tat ple will say..wow, xj, great leader, brought revival to her cg?
The Holy SPirit prompted...He said some more some more..
some more brokenness.
ALmost there.
Seems like there is still a long way to go. :)
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
YAWN
Quite sleepy, din get a good sleep last nite, coughing badly..every few minutes..and the weather is so hot! :(
Shell rejected me yesterday. Boohoo. Not that i need a job with them now. Just feels sad tat they rejected me and not the other way round.
Was reading my previous entries..
Realise the funny thing abt life...
When one crisis is over, another crisis will surface. Life is filled with difficulties and uncertainties. It leaves us then....to deal with these things. :) To be strong ple. It is now very much the perspective in which we deal with them.
Had a nice time yest with diana, leo, eyoung and daph! We went shopping!!!! Then we watched Kingdom of Heaven.
In the name of God..these ple perform such attrocities!!!
You know wat they chanted? "Killing infidiels is not murder". "God wants us to fight this war"
BLEAH
If u read the bible...this is totally ironic. Cos God din command ple to kill each other. God commanded love.
Am gonna read more abt the crusades now.
Well the funny thing is, after centuries, men are still fighting similar wars? The weapons have changed, and so have the clothes and countries.
But for the same reasoning? The desire to self-glorify. To conquer and to be better than the other.
Sheesh...
can't believe tat killing one soldier is like killing an ant...the masses of dead bodies, stacked one on top of the other.
We are so blessed to be staying in Singapore at this time of peace. Too sheltered already la!
Shell rejected me yesterday. Boohoo. Not that i need a job with them now. Just feels sad tat they rejected me and not the other way round.
Was reading my previous entries..
Realise the funny thing abt life...
When one crisis is over, another crisis will surface. Life is filled with difficulties and uncertainties. It leaves us then....to deal with these things. :) To be strong ple. It is now very much the perspective in which we deal with them.
Had a nice time yest with diana, leo, eyoung and daph! We went shopping!!!! Then we watched Kingdom of Heaven.
In the name of God..these ple perform such attrocities!!!
You know wat they chanted? "Killing infidiels is not murder". "God wants us to fight this war"
BLEAH
If u read the bible...this is totally ironic. Cos God din command ple to kill each other. God commanded love.
Am gonna read more abt the crusades now.
Well the funny thing is, after centuries, men are still fighting similar wars? The weapons have changed, and so have the clothes and countries.
But for the same reasoning? The desire to self-glorify. To conquer and to be better than the other.
Sheesh...
can't believe tat killing one soldier is like killing an ant...the masses of dead bodies, stacked one on top of the other.
We are so blessed to be staying in Singapore at this time of peace. Too sheltered already la!
Saturday, May 07, 2005
hoarse voice and nite breezes
Yoho..
Went to bedok jetty to fish yesterday with some of the cg. It was a fun time! Not because of the fishing, but because it was a whole new experience. The nite breeze was cooling..and the dark sea waters that lapped up the shores were nice...
Boundless seas...masses of dark waves ahead..and lost in them.
I have a thing for the sea, u see. :)
Had to leave cos of my silly curfew...so left at about 12 plus..and walked over to the food centre. Sat down for a while with reuben, singnee and emin. And I ate a satay and drank sugar cane juice. Interesting chat with them. Haha..do u realise tat at nite...ple open up more easily? Seems like it. (Tip: if u wanna get to know someone, find them at nite)
By the time I left, it was about 1am? And I take a 5 min walk to the underpass, then walked down the underpass alone...it was q a hmm...not so nice experience. It was deserted. In front of me there was nobody, and behind too. Hah...
Hmm...trust me to insist tat my hse was really near. 5 min seemed like 20 min..
ya aniwae after the underpass, reached my condo gate, realised tat they chained it up. :( Hrmph..had to walk one big round from behind to the guard post, b4 reaching home at about 115am. eheh. Safe and sound. Phew.
wokies...
Ya..
and aniwae now i got a hoarse throat. Had sore throat already, but sang loudly during praise and worship. After singing, i realised i got no more voice.
Now i dun feel like talking to anyone.
I got 3 essays/writeups to do:
1. Decided to join the EMERGE essay competition. HEre's the topic:
“Apart from Jesus, who is your favorite Bible character? Describe in detail how you've been personally impacted by the life and experiences of this character.”
Definitely MOSES. :)
2. Huileng asked me to write on travel experiences...in the christian mag she gonna have.
3. Article for the SE forum! To be put in SALT magazine..
Yay...
some days, I can just sit at home..type happily on the comp.
I love to get a cup of tea, prop my leg on the table and read a good book.
I like to...be an introvert. On some days...
---
Before I end, I will like to share this good book with u guys.
Its called "Biting the bamboo: 8 years in Yunnan" by Dr. Tan Lai Yong.
For 8 years, Dr. Tan and his family stayed in the villages of yunnan, to provide medical help? And also to teach village doctors.
He writes abt his many interesting experiences with the locals. Sometimes his intentions got misinterpreted by the locals too.
He quotes Lao Zi:
Go to the people, live among them
Learn from them. Love them.
Start with what they know; build on what they have.
But the best leaders, when their task is accomplished,
their work is done, the people will remark,
We have done it ourselves.
Indeed.....
I find tat leadership is an interesting task...
Its all about..
helping ple find a vision..
and the vision from God..
and then..
using watever they have...to build on watever they have. :)
People can be so interesting
Went to bedok jetty to fish yesterday with some of the cg. It was a fun time! Not because of the fishing, but because it was a whole new experience. The nite breeze was cooling..and the dark sea waters that lapped up the shores were nice...
Boundless seas...masses of dark waves ahead..and lost in them.
I have a thing for the sea, u see. :)
Had to leave cos of my silly curfew...so left at about 12 plus..and walked over to the food centre. Sat down for a while with reuben, singnee and emin. And I ate a satay and drank sugar cane juice. Interesting chat with them. Haha..do u realise tat at nite...ple open up more easily? Seems like it. (Tip: if u wanna get to know someone, find them at nite)
By the time I left, it was about 1am? And I take a 5 min walk to the underpass, then walked down the underpass alone...it was q a hmm...not so nice experience. It was deserted. In front of me there was nobody, and behind too. Hah...
Hmm...trust me to insist tat my hse was really near. 5 min seemed like 20 min..
ya aniwae after the underpass, reached my condo gate, realised tat they chained it up. :( Hrmph..had to walk one big round from behind to the guard post, b4 reaching home at about 115am. eheh. Safe and sound. Phew.
wokies...
Ya..
and aniwae now i got a hoarse throat. Had sore throat already, but sang loudly during praise and worship. After singing, i realised i got no more voice.
Now i dun feel like talking to anyone.
I got 3 essays/writeups to do:
1. Decided to join the EMERGE essay competition. HEre's the topic:
“Apart from Jesus, who is your favorite Bible character? Describe in detail how you've been personally impacted by the life and experiences of this character.”
Definitely MOSES. :)
2. Huileng asked me to write on travel experiences...in the christian mag she gonna have.
3. Article for the SE forum! To be put in SALT magazine..
Yay...
some days, I can just sit at home..type happily on the comp.
I love to get a cup of tea, prop my leg on the table and read a good book.
I like to...be an introvert. On some days...
---
Before I end, I will like to share this good book with u guys.
Its called "Biting the bamboo: 8 years in Yunnan" by Dr. Tan Lai Yong.
For 8 years, Dr. Tan and his family stayed in the villages of yunnan, to provide medical help? And also to teach village doctors.
He writes abt his many interesting experiences with the locals. Sometimes his intentions got misinterpreted by the locals too.
He quotes Lao Zi:
Go to the people, live among them
Learn from them. Love them.
Start with what they know; build on what they have.
But the best leaders, when their task is accomplished,
their work is done, the people will remark,
We have done it ourselves.
Indeed.....
I find tat leadership is an interesting task...
Its all about..
helping ple find a vision..
and the vision from God..
and then..
using watever they have...to build on watever they have. :)
People can be so interesting
Friday, May 06, 2005
When God Seems Far Away
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, May 05, 2005
by Os Hillman
Why, O Lord, do You stand far off? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble? ~ Psalm 10:1
One of the great mysteries of God is His ways. Some of His ways almost appear to bring us into the most difficult places, as if He were indifferent to our circumstances. It would appear that He is turning His head from our sorrows. These events in our lives have a particular objective to perform for us.? That objective is to bring us to the end of ourselves that we might discover the treasure of darkness. "Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness" (Job 30:26).
When we are taken into these dark periods, we begin to see light that we never knew existed. Our sensitivities become heightened and our ability to see through spiritual eyes is illuminated. Unless we are taken into these times, our souls never develop any depth of character. We do not gain wisdom, only knowledge. Knowledge is gained through understanding; wisdom is gained through the experience of darkness.
After we go through these periods, we discover that God was, in fact, with us throughout the entire time. It does not feel or appear that He is there when we are in the midst of the dark periods. However, He is there walking with us. He has told us countless times that He will never leave us. However, when we are in those dark periods, it does not feel like He is there because He does not rescue us from the circumstances. He does this for our benefit in order that we might become more like Jesus. Jesus learned obedience from the things He suffered (see Heb. 5:8). What does that say about how you and I will learn obedience? Embrace the dark times and gain the wisdom that God intends for you from these times.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, May 05, 2005
by Os Hillman
Why, O Lord, do You stand far off? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble? ~ Psalm 10:1
One of the great mysteries of God is His ways. Some of His ways almost appear to bring us into the most difficult places, as if He were indifferent to our circumstances. It would appear that He is turning His head from our sorrows. These events in our lives have a particular objective to perform for us.? That objective is to bring us to the end of ourselves that we might discover the treasure of darkness. "Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness" (Job 30:26).
When we are taken into these dark periods, we begin to see light that we never knew existed. Our sensitivities become heightened and our ability to see through spiritual eyes is illuminated. Unless we are taken into these times, our souls never develop any depth of character. We do not gain wisdom, only knowledge. Knowledge is gained through understanding; wisdom is gained through the experience of darkness.
After we go through these periods, we discover that God was, in fact, with us throughout the entire time. It does not feel or appear that He is there when we are in the midst of the dark periods. However, He is there walking with us. He has told us countless times that He will never leave us. However, when we are in those dark periods, it does not feel like He is there because He does not rescue us from the circumstances. He does this for our benefit in order that we might become more like Jesus. Jesus learned obedience from the things He suffered (see Heb. 5:8). What does that say about how you and I will learn obedience? Embrace the dark times and gain the wisdom that God intends for you from these times.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
:)
It has been a rather good week.
Spent my monday watching TV-2 movies on channel 5: Back to the future, confessions of the ugly step sister. Watched the channel 8 drama and channel u one too!
Tuesday went out with Jeryn. Was also the day I received news abt my job. Jeryn and I went walking abt, buying present for Baoting! At nite had leaders meeting.
Wednesday was the most exciting day! Went airport to lunch with Jeryn, then we went to tampines mall. She wanted to buy clothes for rina's wedding. Walked for a bit..and then went Burger King to meet Alan! Taught him some maths questions. :) He is a fast learner! At nite went to Boon Teck's hse. Waited at void deck for him, and shar and I bought his mum flowers. Had a good bible study.
Went up with BT to find his parents after BS. The mum was testing out some accupuncture machine. hehe..interesting..our conversation began with tat, and I said my dad had the osim one...which also had electric shocks, but i dun like it...
So we chatted away, abt uni and jobs as well, and the sister came in. She's q pretty, and very independent. She's going into SIM, but the parents dunno which uni that is. Which means tat she very much makes her own choice. And also, she has to part time work and go sch...and she may have to take up a bank loan. Told her to call me if she has any ques on uni.
So wed was a most fruitful day, and this morning, I signed my contract with GIC! :) Praise the Lord! Also went for medical check up.
Tmr got SE meeting...then CG. So its another day. But today have some free time. :) Which is pretty good.
I was reading 2 Kings yesterday, the story of Elijah...when he was tired and needed rest? I saw something interesting i never saw before. He took 40 days and nites to climb to Mount Horeb to seek God when he was tired. So indeed, rest is not just a physical rest, but a rest of our souls. A peace with our God.
Spent my monday watching TV-2 movies on channel 5: Back to the future, confessions of the ugly step sister. Watched the channel 8 drama and channel u one too!
Tuesday went out with Jeryn. Was also the day I received news abt my job. Jeryn and I went walking abt, buying present for Baoting! At nite had leaders meeting.
Wednesday was the most exciting day! Went airport to lunch with Jeryn, then we went to tampines mall. She wanted to buy clothes for rina's wedding. Walked for a bit..and then went Burger King to meet Alan! Taught him some maths questions. :) He is a fast learner! At nite went to Boon Teck's hse. Waited at void deck for him, and shar and I bought his mum flowers. Had a good bible study.
Went up with BT to find his parents after BS. The mum was testing out some accupuncture machine. hehe..interesting..our conversation began with tat, and I said my dad had the osim one...which also had electric shocks, but i dun like it...
So we chatted away, abt uni and jobs as well, and the sister came in. She's q pretty, and very independent. She's going into SIM, but the parents dunno which uni that is. Which means tat she very much makes her own choice. And also, she has to part time work and go sch...and she may have to take up a bank loan. Told her to call me if she has any ques on uni.
So wed was a most fruitful day, and this morning, I signed my contract with GIC! :) Praise the Lord! Also went for medical check up.
Tmr got SE meeting...then CG. So its another day. But today have some free time. :) Which is pretty good.
I was reading 2 Kings yesterday, the story of Elijah...when he was tired and needed rest? I saw something interesting i never saw before. He took 40 days and nites to climb to Mount Horeb to seek God when he was tired. So indeed, rest is not just a physical rest, but a rest of our souls. A peace with our God.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Never stop dreaming!
Heys ple
I've gotten a job with GIC, and I will start on 16th May.
GIC = Government Investment Corporation
GIC is a global investment management company established in 1981 to manage Singapore's foreign reserves. With a network of six overseas offices in key financial capitals around the world, GIC invests internationally in equities, fixed income, money market instruments, real estate and special investments.
Since our inception, we have grown from managing a few billion dollars, to more than US$100 billion today. With a portfolio this size, we are now amongst the world's largest fund management companies.
The group strives to achieve good long-term returns on assets under our management, to preserve and enhance Singapore's reserves.
http://www.gic.com.sg/aboutgic.htm
I'm HAPPY!!!
My ideal salary is 2.5 K per month. The salary I am getting is close to that. And I get 13 months salary..means in dec, I have one more extra month of salary. :) SO tat works out to be more than 2.5K. :)
Have been faithfully giving to the building fund and missions fund. I remember last year when Pastor John Avazini challenged us to gave our "precious", I gave almost my all. Indeed as we give God our best, He will also provide and bless us with the BEST!! Nothing less than the best really.
As I put in my money, the Holy Spirit did speak to me then. I had this vision...
Of businessmen and business suits...
and preaching the gospel to them.
Today Pastor Audrey shared on never losing ur dream! I have a dream tat..
I will stand on the platform and speak to business ple.
I told the Lord wat I wanted for my job:
-Somewhere where I am challenged, can learn and grow
-Somewhere where I can reach out to my colleagues
-Somewhere with good pay
-Somewhere with time for me to serve Him in CG.
Letter from GIC 7th April 2005:
Dear Xiao Jia,
We would like to invite you for an interview for the position of Officer
(Management Reporting Group). Below is the job description and would
appreciate that you could let me know whether you are interested:
OFFICER (MANAGEMENT REPORTING GROUP)
(Ref code: FSDOMRG3)
You will be part of a group that is responsible for reporting on the
valuation and performance of investment assets managed by GIC.
Your role includes:
· Preparing and reviewing reports for management and other departments
in GIC
· Ensuring accuracy and integrity of the systems and databases that
support the reporting of positions, valuation and performance of assets
· Developing, implementing and maintaining controls, checks and
workflows to ensure the quality and timeliness of the data in the valuation
and performance databases
· Participating in projects to enhance existing systems as well as
developing new systems to support the reporting of existing and new
financial instruments that GIC invests in
It is really really God's blessing and favour.
I dun have 3 years experience, nor Access knowledge nor CFA.
I got a job within one month?
HAha...
With Him, all things are possible!
And if I may boast in anything?
I boast in HIM. :)
I've gotten a job with GIC, and I will start on 16th May.
GIC = Government Investment Corporation
GIC is a global investment management company established in 1981 to manage Singapore's foreign reserves. With a network of six overseas offices in key financial capitals around the world, GIC invests internationally in equities, fixed income, money market instruments, real estate and special investments.
Since our inception, we have grown from managing a few billion dollars, to more than US$100 billion today. With a portfolio this size, we are now amongst the world's largest fund management companies.
The group strives to achieve good long-term returns on assets under our management, to preserve and enhance Singapore's reserves.
http://www.gic.com.sg/aboutgic.htm
I'm HAPPY!!!
My ideal salary is 2.5 K per month. The salary I am getting is close to that. And I get 13 months salary..means in dec, I have one more extra month of salary. :) SO tat works out to be more than 2.5K. :)
Have been faithfully giving to the building fund and missions fund. I remember last year when Pastor John Avazini challenged us to gave our "precious", I gave almost my all. Indeed as we give God our best, He will also provide and bless us with the BEST!! Nothing less than the best really.
As I put in my money, the Holy Spirit did speak to me then. I had this vision...
Of businessmen and business suits...
and preaching the gospel to them.
Today Pastor Audrey shared on never losing ur dream! I have a dream tat..
I will stand on the platform and speak to business ple.
I told the Lord wat I wanted for my job:
-Somewhere where I am challenged, can learn and grow
-Somewhere where I can reach out to my colleagues
-Somewhere with good pay
-Somewhere with time for me to serve Him in CG.
Letter from GIC 7th April 2005:
Dear Xiao Jia,
We would like to invite you for an interview for the position of Officer
(Management Reporting Group). Below is the job description and would
appreciate that you could let me know whether you are interested:
OFFICER (MANAGEMENT REPORTING GROUP)
(Ref code: FSDOMRG3)
You will be part of a group that is responsible for reporting on the
valuation and performance of investment assets managed by GIC.
Your role includes:
· Preparing and reviewing reports for management and other departments
in GIC
· Ensuring accuracy and integrity of the systems and databases that
support the reporting of positions, valuation and performance of assets
· Developing, implementing and maintaining controls, checks and
workflows to ensure the quality and timeliness of the data in the valuation
and performance databases
· Participating in projects to enhance existing systems as well as
developing new systems to support the reporting of existing and new
financial instruments that GIC invests in
It is really really God's blessing and favour.
I dun have 3 years experience, nor Access knowledge nor CFA.
I got a job within one month?
HAha...
With Him, all things are possible!
And if I may boast in anything?
I boast in HIM. :)
Sunday, May 01, 2005
I've learnt..
- That just bacause someone saw a miracle in his life doesn't mean tat he will receive Christ.
24 Then he cried and said, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.' 25 But Abraham said, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented. 26 And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.' 27 Then he said, 'I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father's house, 28 for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.' 29 Abraham said to him, 'They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.' 30 And he said, 'No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.' 31 But he said to him, 'If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.' "
Rise fr the dead..
If u saw someone rise fr the dead, would u believe God?
U tink u would, but actually you won't.
In the end it is abt ur heart, ur life, the decisions tat u make.
- If u wanna be a leader..
U gotto not onli care for the person, u must give tat person a vision.
Bring him to a place..
show him that there is a place.
HEhss...learnt much more...
share again tmr.
24 Then he cried and said, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.' 25 But Abraham said, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented. 26 And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.' 27 Then he said, 'I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father's house, 28 for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.' 29 Abraham said to him, 'They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.' 30 And he said, 'No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.' 31 But he said to him, 'If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.' "
Rise fr the dead..
If u saw someone rise fr the dead, would u believe God?
U tink u would, but actually you won't.
In the end it is abt ur heart, ur life, the decisions tat u make.
- If u wanna be a leader..
U gotto not onli care for the person, u must give tat person a vision.
Bring him to a place..
show him that there is a place.
HEhss...learnt much more...
share again tmr.
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