Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Shining Star

Been watching the 9pm Drama this days titled The Shining Star (Xin Shan Shan). I really enjoy the show a lot as I feel that it is very encouraging and positive. In this show, the female protagonist is a blind girl (Ah Li), who is courageous and kind. There's also a social worker in the show, and some wayward youths. :D

Problems in life are inevitable. But instead of focusing on them, and our "disability", we should channel our energy to help others or to find our passions. Focusing on our disability, disables us. It emphasizes our disability. We wallow in self pity and never pick ourselves up.

Why wait for situations to improve before we can truly say we are happy? Humans by nature are disatisfied.
"If I can only have that, I will be happy."
I realise how untrue this statement is. So what...if u have everything? Experience shows that u will want some more..something else will be insufficient enough to make u disatisfied.
We cannot wait for perfect situations before we are happy. The gaping insatiable hole cannot be dependent on circumstances. But we choose to be happy.

And we choose God. His rivers of living water. As He said to the samaritan woman...If you drink my water, u will NEVER thirst again. This true joy...this water that fills our souls. And it stays forever.

Been listening to this song...been crying quite a bit. But this song encourages me a lot.

Every new day
Your glory unfolds
Filling my eyes
With Your treasures untold
The beauty of holiness
Brings worship anew
My greatest love is You
Call me deeper
Into Your grace
The river that flows
From the Holy Place
Wash over me
Cleansing me through
My greatest love is You

If we truly mean it, that our greatest love is Him, then what is too difficult? What ails u today?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Dedicated to my dearest brother...

This is for my bro, and for ple who are feeling down:

I know u feel down and out.
In life, there are many circumstances that we are not in control of. We can't choose our family, how we look, where we are born. But we can choose our attitude toward those circumstances.
We can choose to wallow in self-pity.
But how long are we gonna stay defeated in our circumstances?

We can choose to be happy.

The most cowardly thing one can choose to do is to AVOID. Thats why ple take up smoking, drinking, drugs. To avoid pain. Cos we fear.

The most courageous thing one can do is to choose to face the pain head on.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but going on inspite of fear.

I may never know how u feel. I know u are in pain. Everyone of us bears pain. There's not one pain that is too great we cannot take.

U be sure that when u are going thru pain, God is with u all the way.

If u continue like that u will only kill yrself and hurt the ple who love u.

Be brave . And stop doing things that will hurt yourself.

Luv ya lots,
Your sis.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Single Sunday

Went for a body massage today, one of the free vouchers I got from Citibank's credit card. The last one was a facial. Anyway it was quite relaxing and the lady kept chatting with me. She's from Johor and she has a daughter-in-law my age, who is working as a restaurant captain in Singapore. And then the son also has a Citibank credit card, and he kinda asks his mum for interest every year to pay the credit card company. Which was weird as I told the mum that if they paid on time they actually don't have to pay anything at the year end. :P Asked her abt whether there were many chinese in Johor and why she doesn't work in Johor etc.

Then went to have lunch with Jasmine at Plaza Sing. Plaza Sing is a place full of memories for me. I love that place a lot. Anyway it was good..hope that I encouraged her a little bit. :)

My second Sunday being a single. I guessed the finality of it all hit me today. We broke up last saturday. Anyway I know "you" don't like to be mentioned in my blog. But I must still say that it has been great being with you. It was the passion and compassion he had for people that drew me to him. But the same 2 things that broke us apart. I wish him happiness. :)
I will and must be strong...And I have faith in God to bring me thru this time. Thanks for the many prayers from my dear frens. :)

Yup..I think I've been looking pretty normal and all that for the past one week. As u all know, I don't like to share my emotions or problems. I find much healing in being by myself, being with God, listening to music and reading. I know it will take me some time to heal but I've been through tough periods in my life. So if any of u reading this are worried for me, can I ask for yr kind prayers? For me, and for him? :)
Thanks :)

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Work, colleagues etc

Went for dinner and a drink with my colleagues yesterday after work. :) We went to Maxwell for dinner then drink at Scarlet Hotel. Hmm..the place was ok. They have very sensual names for the rooms like Desire, Passion and all that. We went to the rooftop, but I think our seats were not very good cos it was quite inside and not near the ledge. Not much breeze and can't see the view over the ledge. But the company was quite good. Glad that we can hang out together...not just as colleagues but as friends. There were 6 of us-age range from 23 (me) to 33.

Work is ok-I guess- every work will have its monotony and routine parts. But at least I'm blessed in the aspect of having nice colleagues, relatively good pay and company benefits. Though..I think what makes me tick is finding a work that is truly satisfying. Maslow hierarchy of needs- Self actualisation- feeling fulfilled and feeling like I've contributed to something. Something that resonates within me. Something that I am passionate about. That would be the most fulfilling job for me. I feel that the culture in my company suits me though, and can click with the colleagues. I think that its not time to move anywhere yet. But starting to be a bit more involved in the recreation club. Hopefully can make a difference there by linking up charities and all, and J threw out a great idea yesterday, to organize a YEP trip for my colleagues. That would be super fun!

These days I feel as if there are a lot of me that needs to be moulded. Character and faith and all. So many many aspects that are not good enough. When we are thrown in the deep in situations that test us, it reveals our faith. To be secure in Him...And when it feels all alone to have faith He is with me. That works also for relationships...to be secure...and trust God in all that. And to know u are loved...even when it feels dark.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Pendulum

The Pendulum swings up and down...up and down and up and down. One moment so happy and strong, the next moment it crumbles down again.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

So touched

I was pretty touched today lar...
My sis is going thru a pretty tough time in her personal life, and then she was sick today-vomitting and all. But there was an ex-inmate fren who wanted help to find a job and she went down to meet him this evening, and then helped him scout for jobs online.

I'm so ashamed of myself. If sis can be so strong, so can I, and so should I. I must NEVER depart from the suffering and hurting but be near to where the ple are. Not just philosophizing and thinking about God, but DOING something about my life.

Monday, March 20, 2006

No more pain

And God will wipe away every tear...and there will be no more pain. :)

Rev21:1
3 And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”5 Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”

I remember reading The River Between in secondary school. And the male protagonist, Wayaki had an image:

Isaiah 11:6-7
The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb,
The leopard shall lie down with the young goat,
The calf and the young lion and the fatling together;
And a little child shall lead them.
The cow and the bear shall graze;
Their young ones shall lie down together;
And the lion shall eat straw like the ox.

What a beautiful world..and a beautiful place to be in! :)
Meanwhile, God shall carry us through our trials and store up our tears in heaven.

Oh Btw, if you have time for a good read, do visit my other blog at www.journey-in-christ.blogspot.com Am starting a new series on Musings of a Christian. Enjoy!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Love

E V E R Y B E A T O F M Y H E A R T
Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 2003, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)
So here we stand
Anchored in hope
Letting the rain wash away every fear
Stars in the sky
Twinkle and shine
I pray they won't disappear
'Cause I don't know where your journey goes
or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this moment shining in the dark
I will be watching over every beat of your heart

I wish that time
Could be replayed
I'd keep you here with me everyday
They say that love is letting go
I hope that you find your way
'cause I don't knowwhere your journey goes
or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this moment shining in the dark
I know you're watching over every beat of my heart


They say that LOVE is letting go

Father, thank You for everything. And once again, I let go of the ple I love so deeply into yr hands and trust You that U will guide their paths. And You will guide mine too. Let me never fall but to fall into Yr gracious arms of love. :) Thank You for being there for me. God..as we have chosen to be true to You, true to our calling in You, You honour our faith in You, in the most difficult choices that we ever made. That these choices will work for the good of us. And we commit and entrust our lives in Yr hands. Faith IS the substance of things hoped for, proof of the things unseen. In our most difficult times, with whatever faith of the mustard seed that we can have, we believe in You and Yr plans for us. Give us wisdom, illuminate our minds, tear down strongholds and help us to see the TRUTH, and what really is pleasing to You.
Thank you God. :)

Thursday, March 16, 2006

heh..

Heeys! Brought my guitar to work today to play during lunch time for our CF. :) Hope that all works out well! YUPS! And tmr I'm taking a day off! Yay...need to do my passport, having cg bbq too so decided to give myself a break! Its been a tiring week. Not sure why I've problems sleeping these days. Think its cos my brain is too active. :S I really hope to get some direction soon as to where I'm heading. Pls pray for me! :)

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Poverty, war and loneliness...

Watched The Pianist yesterday night till 130am. My parents stayed up to watch too. The front parts totally grossed me out. How the german soldiers randomly chose ple to shoot, and the humiliation of human beings (jews- whether bankers, pianists, lawyers, businessmen etc). There was this scene when a german soldier threw an old man in his wheelchair out of the window. All because he could not stand up to bow down at them. And another scene where the random jews bowed down their bodies and got shot in the head one by one. It invoked rather strong emotions in me. Why would the germans treat other human beings like that? I totally cannot understand how humans have the capacity toward such evil. Didn't their conscience prick them? I also thought abt institutions. Maybe the germans grew up being educated in their schools that it was the right way to go about? Who questioned the authorities any way?

Ple in authorities yield a lot of power. Group think occurs and everyone agrees to the head and whatever the head says is filtered down to the second level of leaders and so on and so forth. And who questions the authorities? If someone does he is probably seen as the deviant one. I think Martin Luther must have gone through much inner turmoil when he started the reformation and said that men shall live by faith alone.

How about in America, where blacks were treated as slaves. There was something clearly wrong with this kinda treatment. But nobody spoke up until much later. Were they too influenced by culture to see it, or was it that nobody bothered to speak up?

---

Recently I've been thinking about poverty and all that. As well as the doctrine of christians being blessed. I have no doubt that God blesses christians. But what do christians do with the money that they are being blessed with?
If the germans committed murder-directly on innocent jews, we are very indirectly committing murder by hording up our wealth and not helping the poor. When all the poor needs is a few dollars or even a small percentage of our donations/wealth and u can save a life!

Rather enlightened by the passages on poor recently. Never saw them but I guess somehow God opened my eyes to the scripture through various books. God cares for the poor and He is unhappy with social justice. In the old testament in Amos, Amos warns the ple in Israel that God is unhappy with them oppressing the poor and not giving them their wages etc etc. And likewise in Isaiah and Jeremiah. I never took those readings too seriously-probably thought that, nah, not for me. I am ok..I don't oppress ple. The bible is talking abt the really evil landlords who charge high taxes or ple who underpay their workers. Definitely not me!
Read Matthew 25:43-46

41 Then He will also say to those on the left hand, 'Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: 42 for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; 43 I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.' 44 Then they also will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?' 45 Then He will answer them, saying, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' 46 And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

Notice that Jesus was NOT just talking about the oppressors. But He was talking about ple-u and me who saw ple who were hungry, thirsty, naked, sick etc but didn't bother to help them.

Christianity is not only about ourselves being blessed!

Luke16-19-25
19 "There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. 20 But there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, full of sores, who was laid at his gate, 21 desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell F112 from the rich man's table. Moreover the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 And being in torments in Hades, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. 24 Then he cried and said, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.' 25 But Abraham said, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented.

Just because in Singapore we don't directly see the same scene, but yet in a way we are practicing what the rich man is doing. Having good food, clothes etc. Yet at the other side of the globe, maybe in Africa, malnutritient/sickness/lack of education is rampant. Aren't we behaving like the rich man then?

Read Ron Sider's Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger.

Not only do we not help the poor, but we teach ple that christians are to be blessed and live a standard of life that is above average. God can bless us with a lot of wealth. But why shd we think that the wealth that God gives us is for us to enjoy our lives? God is a God of social justice and loves the poor. And we should too.

Not that I have attained anything so noble etc. I am ashamed that I am behaving like any well-fed, typical christian, but I think it is important in our daily lives to examine what are the things we really need (do we need more gadgets and newer handphones?) and what can we give and sow into others lives. I think instead of treating our wealth as a given to be thankful. Oh yah, u may wanna do smthing practical like sponsor a child at world vision! I just got a boy from Phillipines!

Some food for thought. Please please think about it!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Her tears

Seeing _____ cry stirred up compassion within me. In spite of her being older than me, realise that all people, young or old are very vulnerable on the inside. The mundanity and stress of work gets to everyone. Hope that I can be a blessing to the working adults, and truly be the salt of the earth and light of the world. That revelation makes me happy! :) As christians we have Jesus! So we have something that gives us true joy. Christians shd be the happiest, kindest and most joyful ple of the world!

Reading this book on relationships by this Pastor called Chip.
He says that this is Hollywood's cycle of love-which many of us hold:
1. Find the right person
2. Fall in love
3. Find yr fulfilment and fix yr hopes on the one person
4. If fail, repeat again

He says this is God's cycle of love we shd have:
1. Be the right person
2. Walk in love
3. Fix your hope on God and find fulfilment in Him. Both seek to please God.
4. If fail, repeat again

I'm paraphrasing here. But thats the gist of it. And I was really very blessed. By being the right person, he means that a person who is whole in God, we can only love when we experience God's love in our lives. And then we walk in love-imitate Christ. =)
When relationships don't work out, we question whether the person we are dating are RIGHT for us. And that is why when we meet someone nicer- we compare this person with our own partner and think that maybe he/she is not the right one and this new guy is the right one for u. But that will begin the cycle all over again- Hollywood style. He suggests that instead of asking that question, ask YOURSELF this question, in what way can u be a better person-are you being Christ-like?

Monday, March 06, 2006

Life will be so much simpler if we really believe in what we pray for, and when we say we surrender to God, we truly surrender and stop worrying about whatever we have surrendered.
When we pray and say, God give me wisdom, we believe that He will bless us with wisdom to make the right decisions.
When we pray and say, God bless and protect my loved ones, we genuinely believe that God will keep them safe from harm and we need not worry unceasingly nor use our own strength to meet their needs.
When we pray and say, God, You are sovereign, we genuinely believe that He is sovereign and in control of all the injustice in the world.

Well I just happen to like this song below a lot. Dun tink anyone likes to fight. We are all human beings, but God gives us the supernatural strength beyond our human abilities. And the irony is, only when we acknowledge we are weak, step back and surrender to Him, then only He comes and take over our lives, and empowers us to be strong.


Superman-Five for Fighting
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird...I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd...but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It's all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy...or anything...

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
I'm only a man
Looking for a dream

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it's not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me

Saturday, March 04, 2006

=) New beginnings

:) Yay, am going on a mission trip to Northeast asia fr 30th April to 6 May. Quite excited about that. Meanwhile also finding back my identity and myself.
Was reading another book yesterday by RT Kendall, and what he said really encouraged me. He said that God often gave us second chances by putting us in the same situation, and when we choose another decision, instead of our original one, then we know we have changed, and its easier to forgive ourselves. Many times God forgives us, but we don't forgive ourselves. ;p
So anyway, I thank God for this time, it is not been easy, but nevertheless I know that He will show me new visions and dreams. The end of a dream is the beginning of a new one! =)
Ha..I know its strange but only after 9months of working that I am starting to come to terms with my new life as a working adult. No use grumbling, being unhappy everyday about work. But take it with positivity. Have a christian fellowship there, and happened to know other christians who are praying for revival in the company! I got a vision, that one day the company auditorium would be filled with the presence of God, and ple will weep and be touched by Him. We are starting to have prayer meetings on alternate weeks other than the CFs sessions. So next one I will probably bring my guitar, then we can worship God.

The work place is a missions field! God has blessed me with a lot of favour with the colleagues. The other question is how and when. How as in how to preach the gospel, how will revival come? When? When is it the timing of God for it to happen? These things I am seeking God for. I've learnt my lesson that in quietness and confidence (in God) shall be my strength. =)

I am excited...I am quite sure that God means for me a few years in the mkt place and corporate world. And praying for future opportunities. Meanwhile I must not be disheartened with my work or my situation but keep my morale high. This is only temporary ground. One day when my heart is prepared and ready, I know that God will use me. I am ready God, send me and use me! =)