Hihi..I've been so busy moving house for the past few days and there was no internet access! Hence the lack of updates.
Its a mixture of emotions, but thank God that everything went smoothly, and it was relatively peaceful at home. :) Even though there were sparks of disagreements here and there ranging from where to put the towels to the books to missing keys etc etc. But overall, God has been gracious. There's still some things I've to unpack and rack my brains abt where to squeeze them. Yeah..so phew, but anyway I can take a breather now!! Thank God!
Dad has been bz and good...driving the stuff to and fro and most of all, installing the computer and restoring the internet! Heh...can't live without it.
Hmmm.....moving also taught me a few principles. I guess the first thing is when I started packing I realised what a whole lot of things I have! A lot of them are gifts from ple, whether it is clothes, accessories, soft toys etc. I've moved a lot of them here and some of them I don't know where to put! Cos I don't really like the accessories for instance, and I have too much of them! A lot of purchases from my mum. Haha. ;) And then for the soft toys, I've chucked behind some newer ones and took the older ones with sentimental value. At the end of the day, value is measured in terms of the meaning behind the item, as opposed to the valuation of the item.
Essentials- My books! One whole row of them behind my bed, heh. First thing that I placed in my room! :) Ideas, thoughts, inspirations, all inside my brains now, I hope....wah...the wealth of knowledge.
Letters letters and more letters, one whole box of them. Now I don't know where I should put them! Full of sentimental value. I think I would cry if I lost them. Esp some of those really meaningful ones from friends, whether it is thanksgiving or words of encouragement, really mean a lot to me.
The destination- Packing was tough, unpacking at the new house was more pleasant. Just like living in the present without a vision of the future is tough. What am I working so hard for? Where will this ultimately lead me? Ahh..its only when u are at the destination, and u can have a view of it, then it encourages u to work hard for something. This has been true for these 1.5 years. It has been tough seeing where the labour leads me to. I'm not sure where is my final destination. But I've faith that it has gotto be good, and that God is in control of wherever I am, will be going, and His loving hand is upon me.
I'm just blabbering non-stop, I guess its to let out all the days of not talking that much!
Today's sermon was GREAT, it was about thanksgiving. Giving thanks and being thankful! Three things pastor said affected us- being critical, complaining and comparing! One of the things he said spoke to me- don't complain, but be the solution. He surprised me by saying there are at least 30 things he thinks can be improved in the church, yet he is not complaining but serving. And many times, when we have a critical spirit, it is because we don't examine ourselves. How true. I think there is a lot for me to examine of myself.
It has been a tough year, mostly cos of my own attitude about things. If I had held a better attitude, seen things in different manner, I guess I would have been happier! Nevertheless, as the new year comes, I pray that I may learn each day to be thankful for all that He has blessed me. He has indeed been good. My thanksgiving item list spans up to 30 plus items. The Lord gives and take-away, and I've been struggling really really hard with the things I like/passionate about/desire, and I've been unhappy. I realise in all these, God showed me my heart- I wasn't really satisfied in Him. I really don't desire Him, and there are all sorts of holes in my heart in the shape of people & dreams. I pray that in the new year, He will continue to grant me the grace to surrender all that I love to Him, to delight in Him. His greatest calling, is not to ministry but to Him alone. I pray I may be satisfied in that.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Poignant night
Christmas eve as usual inspires poignant thoughts. Somehow it just feels like the season for reflecting and ruminating.
Have been packing my stuff for moving house, and I came across loads and loads of letters & cards, that they filled up almost one cardboard box! =) Re-read some of the letters my penpals/netpals sent to me. Remember those days in IRC when I logged online everyday in search of friends to talk to. Seems like these days emails and blogging have replaced the good old letter writing.
Actually got nothing much to say here. Its christmas eve and I am at home! Had dinner with my family and now I am eating chocolate and rum cake. :) Extremely tasty!
A bless Christmas. May we remember the reason for the season! =)
Have been packing my stuff for moving house, and I came across loads and loads of letters & cards, that they filled up almost one cardboard box! =) Re-read some of the letters my penpals/netpals sent to me. Remember those days in IRC when I logged online everyday in search of friends to talk to. Seems like these days emails and blogging have replaced the good old letter writing.
Actually got nothing much to say here. Its christmas eve and I am at home! Had dinner with my family and now I am eating chocolate and rum cake. :) Extremely tasty!
A bless Christmas. May we remember the reason for the season! =)
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Deep Sorrow & Pure Joy
I felt a very deep sorrow last night. Don't know if it was like the dark night of the soul. But it was scary.
God has been speaking to me to give up things that are dear to me, and to put Him first. And this is a trying period to trust Him in every step of the way.
Moving house has been trying. Lots of misunderstandings with my parents. I know that dad is looking forward to the terrace house, and wondering why we were so 'unthankful'. I wished he knew what I needed/wanted was not the tangible stuffs, but all I wanted was for the family to be able to dwell together in harmony and love. Be it in a 3 room flat or a terrace house, the meaning behind a 'home' entails much more than a physical building. And so I was in deep sorrow last night, wondering if they will ever understand what the poor and the needy means to me. That I would rather be able to bless one of them, then to dwell in a big terrace house. That love is much more meaningful to me in this way.
Still my heart Lord, and grant me peace and joy in the midst of the challenges.
In this season, this song is meaningful to me:
"Thankful"- Josh Groban
Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more
There's so much to be thankful for
------------------------------------------------
"The Cross, as it enters the love life, will reveal the heart's truth. My heart, I knew, would be forever a lonely hunter unless settled 'where true joys are to be found."
"I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts."
"Life requires countless 'little' deaths- occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to God... We are not meant to die merely in order to be dead. God would not want that for the creatures to whom He has given the breath of life. We die in order to live."
"Be still and know that He is God. When you are lonely, too much stillness is exactly the thing that seems to be laying waste your soul. Use that stillness to quiet your heart before God. Get to know Him. If He is God, He is still in charge. Remember that you are not alone"
"I realised that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done."
Passion & Purity by Elizabeth Eliot
I hope that these will bless yr heart, as much as it has blessed mine.
---------------------------------------
Had dinner with EY yesterday. Hey bro, I know u are reading this! :) Thankful to see that you are much happier now. I was very much affirmed by your words last night. I hope that u will find the even greater Gift of life! =)
Also received 2 christmas cards in the office. Was encouraged by the words in the cards.
At the end of my life, I hope I have made a difference to some. Sometimes, it is not the length of one's life, but how did one make use of his/her life.
I pray for such deep intangible joys in the spirit that all of us may experience. That true joy of knowing the meaning behind christmas- yes, and for myself to truly know it as well.
God has been speaking to me to give up things that are dear to me, and to put Him first. And this is a trying period to trust Him in every step of the way.
Moving house has been trying. Lots of misunderstandings with my parents. I know that dad is looking forward to the terrace house, and wondering why we were so 'unthankful'. I wished he knew what I needed/wanted was not the tangible stuffs, but all I wanted was for the family to be able to dwell together in harmony and love. Be it in a 3 room flat or a terrace house, the meaning behind a 'home' entails much more than a physical building. And so I was in deep sorrow last night, wondering if they will ever understand what the poor and the needy means to me. That I would rather be able to bless one of them, then to dwell in a big terrace house. That love is much more meaningful to me in this way.
Still my heart Lord, and grant me peace and joy in the midst of the challenges.
In this season, this song is meaningful to me:
"Thankful"- Josh Groban
Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.
Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light
So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more
There's so much to be thankful for
------------------------------------------------
"The Cross, as it enters the love life, will reveal the heart's truth. My heart, I knew, would be forever a lonely hunter unless settled 'where true joys are to be found."
"I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts."
"Life requires countless 'little' deaths- occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to God... We are not meant to die merely in order to be dead. God would not want that for the creatures to whom He has given the breath of life. We die in order to live."
"Be still and know that He is God. When you are lonely, too much stillness is exactly the thing that seems to be laying waste your soul. Use that stillness to quiet your heart before God. Get to know Him. If He is God, He is still in charge. Remember that you are not alone"
"I realised that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done."
Passion & Purity by Elizabeth Eliot
I hope that these will bless yr heart, as much as it has blessed mine.
---------------------------------------
Had dinner with EY yesterday. Hey bro, I know u are reading this! :) Thankful to see that you are much happier now. I was very much affirmed by your words last night. I hope that u will find the even greater Gift of life! =)
Also received 2 christmas cards in the office. Was encouraged by the words in the cards.
At the end of my life, I hope I have made a difference to some. Sometimes, it is not the length of one's life, but how did one make use of his/her life.
I pray for such deep intangible joys in the spirit that all of us may experience. That true joy of knowing the meaning behind christmas- yes, and for myself to truly know it as well.
Friday, December 21, 2007
我要的喜乐和平静， 只在耶稣里
Just now Ed called me and prayed for me over the phone! He prayed for not just peace, but also JOY. Thankful for that. Yes yes, I don't just want to be peaceful, but I want to have the joy of christmas, knowing the meaning of christmas, that brings with it hope and redemption. :)
Work has sort of settled down, and today at the office, all is quiet. It is comfortable sitting at my desk doing some documentation and replying the deadlogs of emails. With the nice furry arm rester I got for christmas (thanks babe heh), it is providing much comfort.
All is not lost, all is at rest.
Isaiah 43:1-4
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. 3 For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; ... Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you..."
Thank you for yr promise of rest, guidance, of being with me.
Work has sort of settled down, and today at the office, all is quiet. It is comfortable sitting at my desk doing some documentation and replying the deadlogs of emails. With the nice furry arm rester I got for christmas (thanks babe heh), it is providing much comfort.
All is not lost, all is at rest.
Isaiah 43:1-4
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. 3 For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; ... Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you..."
Thank you for yr promise of rest, guidance, of being with me.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Purpose
A friend said that his life is to fulfill God's purpose, and if he finds someone along the way to walk with him, that is a bonus. I can vaguely see where he is coming from now, because if u have a purpose that u find fulfilment in, then perhaps this sense of fulfilment is so satisfying that u do not require having a mate to walk with you.
Another fren got cancer recently, am going to visit him tmr. He is thankful at this time to be able to share Christ with his colleagues. I can't imagine that he thinks of sharing God's love with others at his moment of need. And yes I am thankful and really encouraged.
We have only one life to live.
Read the story of the dog lying on a pin. It laid there for a very long long time, and yet it didn't bulge, even though it was painful. So many of us are like that. I wonder how long we can endure the threshold of pain. Or is it that ultimately, we don't see that there is a greater purpose to life, and simply live day by day to get by our lives?
Another fren got cancer recently, am going to visit him tmr. He is thankful at this time to be able to share Christ with his colleagues. I can't imagine that he thinks of sharing God's love with others at his moment of need. And yes I am thankful and really encouraged.
We have only one life to live.
Read the story of the dog lying on a pin. It laid there for a very long long time, and yet it didn't bulge, even though it was painful. So many of us are like that. I wonder how long we can endure the threshold of pain. Or is it that ultimately, we don't see that there is a greater purpose to life, and simply live day by day to get by our lives?
Eventful week
Thank God for seeing me through another really eventful week. Tmr I am on leave so I can pack my books and clothes for moving house! :) Much needed rest and sleep deficit.
Met up with R just now, been such a long long time since I met him. Guess we were both pretty edified by our conversations, and I thank God for how He has been working in his life!
As it comes to the end of the year and I might be serving as a leader again in church, some memories come flooding back. I am not sure if I have totally resolved the past issues, but I do feel His peace to start afresh again, and He has encouraged me in Psalms 27, about how when we dwell in the house of God, we will find protection amidst all uncertainty.
Sometimes I think I am living on borrowed time. And these 2 months esp went by in a blur. A mixture of deep emotions on the inside that I sometimes don't have time to reflect on. Just been rushed from one place to another, and been pretty much reactive rather than reflective. But yet I have been reflecting too, guess sometimes its just hard to capture in full all the thoughts.
Christmas is coming and I havent bought anyone any christmas present at all! Except for one friend cos her bday was coming too!I feel so embarrassed I got no time to wrap the present. ;/ I've no time to go shopping and I need sleep desperately. haha.
Just finished the op homeworks last weekend, yesterday we had christmas outreach, and then next few days would be trying to pack my stuffs for moving. =D And yes I need to think about my life and the next move next year. Most likely to be a major switch. Do feel that I've reached the end of some stuffs, and will like to explore something else next year!
Oh yes, Social Innovators Forum yesterday was really inspiring. Esp liked the speaker from Hagar International reaching out to Cambodian women =) Was really so blessed and inspired to just GO THERE AND DO SOMETHING!
Shall rest tonight and tmr be a restful & recharging day!
Met up with R just now, been such a long long time since I met him. Guess we were both pretty edified by our conversations, and I thank God for how He has been working in his life!
As it comes to the end of the year and I might be serving as a leader again in church, some memories come flooding back. I am not sure if I have totally resolved the past issues, but I do feel His peace to start afresh again, and He has encouraged me in Psalms 27, about how when we dwell in the house of God, we will find protection amidst all uncertainty.
Sometimes I think I am living on borrowed time. And these 2 months esp went by in a blur. A mixture of deep emotions on the inside that I sometimes don't have time to reflect on. Just been rushed from one place to another, and been pretty much reactive rather than reflective. But yet I have been reflecting too, guess sometimes its just hard to capture in full all the thoughts.
Christmas is coming and I havent bought anyone any christmas present at all! Except for one friend cos her bday was coming too!I feel so embarrassed I got no time to wrap the present. ;/ I've no time to go shopping and I need sleep desperately. haha.
Just finished the op homeworks last weekend, yesterday we had christmas outreach, and then next few days would be trying to pack my stuffs for moving. =D And yes I need to think about my life and the next move next year. Most likely to be a major switch. Do feel that I've reached the end of some stuffs, and will like to explore something else next year!
Oh yes, Social Innovators Forum yesterday was really inspiring. Esp liked the speaker from Hagar International reaching out to Cambodian women =) Was really so blessed and inspired to just GO THERE AND DO SOMETHING!
Shall rest tonight and tmr be a restful & recharging day!
Sunday, December 09, 2007
What Christmas means?
Houses of Hope (II) - one room flat cleaning I organized for my company happened on Saturday! My team was allocated to a one room flat which had small black marks all over the walls (will upload some photos later), which were really bed bug nests. So we used the cleaning materials to spray on the wall and had to scrub really hard. No more need for gym for the week.
How does this relate to Christmas:
1) Humility
Christmas, the day when Jesus was born in a manger. Jesus was God, yet He humbled Himself and became man, so that He could bear our sins on the cross. Jesus is the humble king, who came to serve than be served.
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
Phil 2:5-8
Who else should we follow, but the likeness of our master, to now give our lives to be a service to others. As we scrubbed the walls and the floors, it was an act of service to the under privileged.
And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'
Matt 25:40
"That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world."
John 1:9
Is there someone around you in need of hope?
"Then the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.'"
Luke 2:10
It was nice bringing our little pieces of hope into the one room flats. The new ikea bed sets and cabinets look good in the one room flats! :)
3) Love
For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, the greatest love in history that can ever be given.
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
John 13:35-36
What better way to demonstrate God's love to others than through physical service. To love those whom society has forgotten, to include those who are marginalized. To be God's hands and legs.
----------------------------------------------------
I've been feeling a bit under the weather for these few days, think it is cos I've too many things on my mind. I've to shake off these feelings of loneliness when I am fighting battles! Moving house on the 28th of December, plus loads of projects in the company. Really living each day by His grace, fighting the Z monster.
How does this relate to Christmas:
1) Humility
Christmas, the day when Jesus was born in a manger. Jesus was God, yet He humbled Himself and became man, so that He could bear our sins on the cross. Jesus is the humble king, who came to serve than be served.
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
Phil 2:5-8
Who else should we follow, but the likeness of our master, to now give our lives to be a service to others. As we scrubbed the walls and the floors, it was an act of service to the under privileged.
And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'
Matt 25:40
Is there someone u can serve this christmas?
2) Hope
Christmas brings with it hope."That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world."
John 1:9
Is there someone around you in need of hope?
"Then the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.'"
Luke 2:10
It was nice bringing our little pieces of hope into the one room flats. The new ikea bed sets and cabinets look good in the one room flats! :)
3) Love
For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, the greatest love in history that can ever be given.
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
John 13:35-36
What better way to demonstrate God's love to others than through physical service. To love those whom society has forgotten, to include those who are marginalized. To be God's hands and legs.
----------------------------------------------------
I've been feeling a bit under the weather for these few days, think it is cos I've too many things on my mind. I've to shake off these feelings of loneliness when I am fighting battles! Moving house on the 28th of December, plus loads of projects in the company. Really living each day by His grace, fighting the Z monster.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Finding Job & Dating
Can't believe I spent almost 30 min on Facebooks doing very frivalous stuffs!!
Things are beginning to come into a slower momentum in the office, as the projects start to settle into a more comfortable pace. Thank God. I had a quiet moment by myself today during lunch time, went to Pacific Coffee with bible in tow to do some reading.
And I did some reflection! I suddenly thought of something quite weird, the parallels betw finding a job and dating! Finding a job is a bit like dating....It takes time to discover if a job is really suitable for u...At first sight, a job description sounds like what you will like. But upon a deeper pondering of yr life goals and preferences, maybe the particular job does not feel like it will last u throughout yr lifetime. Ofcos in this age and era, people job hop like nobody's business, yet I guess there are particular fields that suit yr preferences/interests and passion, and it prob won't change for a long long time.My ideal job constitutes interaction with people. Being able to be of help to someone, to see a smile on the face, esp on the faces of people who are broken hearted and marginalized. I like youths, but I am not sure if that is the core to my ideal job, as I can also interact with youths on other basis like in church ministry. I guess the underlying call, is the gift of mercy, to love the unwanted ones, to heal the broken hearted. That's where I guess the iffy grey area comes, cos a job that allows lotsa interaction with youths comes along, and then it feels somewhat like it, but it is also somewhat not like it.
One of the recent passions I discovered is I like to travel! My ideal job also brings me traveling. And want to go to lotsa developing countries, interacting with people there. Funny thing is, local VWOs and doing social enteprises for them doesn't excite me as much as overseas stuff like microfinancing or agricultural development.
The weird part is, even though I like relating and meeting new people, I also need my space to be able to sit quietly behind my desk and write some report or polish up some writings. 8)
I don't like administration or handling nitty gritty details. I am more of a big picture kinda person. I don't like routine, like some variation & challenges. Yet I also like some kind of defined boundaries around me, don't like things to become too iffy!!
haha...now I have totally lost the first train of thought about dating! I guess everyone of us has our criteria in terms of our life partner. Some stuff can be compromised, but some are core values that u know u definitely want in yr partner. I guess one must be able to envision a future with that particular person. But how the other must also share the same sentiments, thats not easy! There could be something u like about a person, yet because of that minute difference, the both of u run on parallel tracks and u never meet. Hopefully the tracks meet someday.
I guess in terms of work & relationship I do know what I want. At least that's what I think for now.
Things are beginning to come into a slower momentum in the office, as the projects start to settle into a more comfortable pace. Thank God. I had a quiet moment by myself today during lunch time, went to Pacific Coffee with bible in tow to do some reading.
And I did some reflection! I suddenly thought of something quite weird, the parallels betw finding a job and dating! Finding a job is a bit like dating....It takes time to discover if a job is really suitable for u...At first sight, a job description sounds like what you will like. But upon a deeper pondering of yr life goals and preferences, maybe the particular job does not feel like it will last u throughout yr lifetime. Ofcos in this age and era, people job hop like nobody's business, yet I guess there are particular fields that suit yr preferences/interests and passion, and it prob won't change for a long long time.My ideal job constitutes interaction with people. Being able to be of help to someone, to see a smile on the face, esp on the faces of people who are broken hearted and marginalized. I like youths, but I am not sure if that is the core to my ideal job, as I can also interact with youths on other basis like in church ministry. I guess the underlying call, is the gift of mercy, to love the unwanted ones, to heal the broken hearted. That's where I guess the iffy grey area comes, cos a job that allows lotsa interaction with youths comes along, and then it feels somewhat like it, but it is also somewhat not like it.
One of the recent passions I discovered is I like to travel! My ideal job also brings me traveling. And want to go to lotsa developing countries, interacting with people there. Funny thing is, local VWOs and doing social enteprises for them doesn't excite me as much as overseas stuff like microfinancing or agricultural development.
The weird part is, even though I like relating and meeting new people, I also need my space to be able to sit quietly behind my desk and write some report or polish up some writings. 8)
I don't like administration or handling nitty gritty details. I am more of a big picture kinda person. I don't like routine, like some variation & challenges. Yet I also like some kind of defined boundaries around me, don't like things to become too iffy!!
haha...now I have totally lost the first train of thought about dating! I guess everyone of us has our criteria in terms of our life partner. Some stuff can be compromised, but some are core values that u know u definitely want in yr partner. I guess one must be able to envision a future with that particular person. But how the other must also share the same sentiments, thats not easy! There could be something u like about a person, yet because of that minute difference, the both of u run on parallel tracks and u never meet. Hopefully the tracks meet someday.
I guess in terms of work & relationship I do know what I want. At least that's what I think for now.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Beautiful in His time
I'm pretty groggy now, spent the night at our new house which is already furnished with mattresses and some furniture from the previous owner. :) Yes it is a beautiful house that my dad bought and we have just been given the keys! We are contemplating whether to move there, but most likely we will. The terrace house is quiet, and spacious, and I get my own room! =) Thank God for His providence. This house is somehow like a dream house I imagined myself to stay in when I was younger! Yet it comes as a dilemma, for I know if I were to purchase a house, I would purchase a simple flat. Knowing that millions out there have not even a roof over their heads, and yet I'm comfortable and snug in my big house. I don't know what to say, except to give thanks, and to pray that I may make my own life count and be a good steward of my finances- and possibly my parents' finances in the future.
Anyhow, I am looking forward to having my own room. A cosy room where I can decorate as I like. My own space. And also the third floor has a opened air corner and a little swing, where I can imagine myself praying, looking into the sky, and reflecting!
Spent a good lots of time this morning with my family, and brought them to Eighteen Chefs. It is a social enteprise founded by Benny Setoh, an ex-offender and my friend! ;) Got to know him through Pastor Don (the pastor whom I went to Indonesia with). Before he started the restaurant, I met him a few times to discuss the business plan. Heh. But in the end, I wasn't involved in the founding of the restaurant. If you are familiar with Jaime Oliver's Fifteen restaurant, Jaime picks up street kids and trains them to be chefs. Benny also hopes to do the same thing, to set up a cooking school to train up ex-offenders/street kids, equip them with skills and yes, inspire them with new hope for the future. Anyhow I was glad- never thought it would happen- that my parents came with me to dine at the place, and got to talk to Benny as well. Yay. =) It is part of opening and sharing my life with them I guess.
And so....He makes all things beautiful in His time. We talked abt jobs as well, and dad seems to have softened his stance on me working in a non-profit. I am so thankful. I see a light.
Along the topic of wayward youths, had dinner with a ex church mate last night. And as she was telling me abt the things that had been going on at home, and with her cousins, I almost wanted to cry. I am glad to have the opportunity to hear her stories. Too sheltered....really too sheltered. In my circle of friends, people with relatively stable families, well educated.... Yet in the same country Singapore, people going through multiple abortions, family abuse using choppers and knives. And I'm like...why? I'm like...God, show me more of this, but protect my heart. Let it be soft always. Let it beat with yr heartbeat. And I pray that the christian community may live in a way that is Christ-like, lifting our eyes above our problems, to look upwards, and to look outwards.
And so...it is a good ending to the year. :) I know the next year will be a fresh start. Like Peter being restored by Jesus after he had betrayed Him, this almost feels like it. I don't know if I've betrayed Him, but I know I felt I've failed in many ways. And Fel sharing her testimony at church greatly encouraged me, almost like God gave me a good fruit and reinstated me. Yes, to serve Him again. To have the courage to minister again. :)
Anyhow, I am looking forward to having my own room. A cosy room where I can decorate as I like. My own space. And also the third floor has a opened air corner and a little swing, where I can imagine myself praying, looking into the sky, and reflecting!
Spent a good lots of time this morning with my family, and brought them to Eighteen Chefs. It is a social enteprise founded by Benny Setoh, an ex-offender and my friend! ;) Got to know him through Pastor Don (the pastor whom I went to Indonesia with). Before he started the restaurant, I met him a few times to discuss the business plan. Heh. But in the end, I wasn't involved in the founding of the restaurant. If you are familiar with Jaime Oliver's Fifteen restaurant, Jaime picks up street kids and trains them to be chefs. Benny also hopes to do the same thing, to set up a cooking school to train up ex-offenders/street kids, equip them with skills and yes, inspire them with new hope for the future. Anyhow I was glad- never thought it would happen- that my parents came with me to dine at the place, and got to talk to Benny as well. Yay. =) It is part of opening and sharing my life with them I guess.
And so....He makes all things beautiful in His time. We talked abt jobs as well, and dad seems to have softened his stance on me working in a non-profit. I am so thankful. I see a light.
Along the topic of wayward youths, had dinner with a ex church mate last night. And as she was telling me abt the things that had been going on at home, and with her cousins, I almost wanted to cry. I am glad to have the opportunity to hear her stories. Too sheltered....really too sheltered. In my circle of friends, people with relatively stable families, well educated.... Yet in the same country Singapore, people going through multiple abortions, family abuse using choppers and knives. And I'm like...why? I'm like...God, show me more of this, but protect my heart. Let it be soft always. Let it beat with yr heartbeat. And I pray that the christian community may live in a way that is Christ-like, lifting our eyes above our problems, to look upwards, and to look outwards.
And so...it is a good ending to the year. :) I know the next year will be a fresh start. Like Peter being restored by Jesus after he had betrayed Him, this almost feels like it. I don't know if I've betrayed Him, but I know I felt I've failed in many ways. And Fel sharing her testimony at church greatly encouraged me, almost like God gave me a good fruit and reinstated me. Yes, to serve Him again. To have the courage to minister again. :)
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