Drinking

Went for dinner tonight again with some colleagues, and then we went to Eski-bar for a drink. Its a place near China Square, and they turn the aircon really low so that it was freezing, but when u went inside the place wasn't that cold. :) The place was quite dark, and in a sense reassuring. And kind of understood why ple enjoy hiding in clubs and bars in the dark, where u can in a way let loose and act silly. I think this is my 4th time at a bar with frens. I'm not really a drinking/clubbing/pubbing person, and about 2-3 years ago when I went to Paulander with my frens for the first time, I didn't really want to step into it, cos there was some stigma I associated drinking with. Then I only took a sip of my fren's dark german beer. And the malt, fresh taste lingered in the throat, and was nice. Tonight I drank a Corona. Yup, I do like beer quite a bit. Especially when we went to europe for holidays, and the weather was so freezing cold, and with the cold beer it was like really nice. I'm not an alcoholic tho. I was so shocked when I came back home tonight and my mum asked if I had been drinking, cos my face was red- didn't realise that until I checked the mirror.

And so yup, I'm about to turn 24 this year, and it is scary knowing u are ageing, and are no longer a youth, but an adult who makes decisions with her life. And my life has been so sheltered over the past 24 years, and my parents make so many decisions for me. Smetimes, I am really not a risk taker, and I hate making decisions. Or perhaps..the looming voice of my dad (No, u should do it this way/ Why are u so silly?) makes me worry that I am really silly. Sometimes, I just need a reassuring voice that I am okay.

I've just made one of the most impt decisions in my life, it has been 9 whole years. But yup. Finally have the courage to move on. When it is more firmed up, I shall share. But yup...I'm glad in a way that there's gonna be a new beginning. :D

Smsed Daph today...and asked her for lunch next week. This deep love that I feel for her, and for my ex-cg members, it just swarmed up all over me, and it was an overwhelming feeling. I miss those relationships, and will truly miss them a whole lot. I'm not confident nor charismatic, but I'm glad in one way or another, God has used the relationships I've had with some of the mbrs, in diff seasons of their lives. And really thankful...really thankful for that. That in my inadequacy, God chooses the weak to shame the strong.

So yup, it's a new beginning for me. And in all things, always thankful, grateful to God. For yup...still loving me and accepting me, no matter how sometimes I feel I have failed Him. And yah...I just wanna say...to Him, thank You so so so much, for sometimes, I just cannot see Yr love for me, cos I am so self absorbed with my worries and cares. :)Thank You for still believing in me.