Dun really know how to begin this post! I know there are things that are bugging me, but then again I know in my life there are always things that are bugging me. If u have my other blog addy, do visit it to see the post on suffering- by Tom Smail. I think its a masterpiece!
Anyway, I went to Covenant CG yesterday! I was expecting praise and worship and word and ministry..but when I went there we had games, lots of laughter and conversation, and then we broke up into grps to share and pray. The sharing and prayer was so long that we ended up not watching the video on how the bible is true. So it got me thinking about what a cell group is meant to be. A cell group- isn't just meant to be equated to a structured meeting of praise and worship and word etc. But rather, the aim of a cell group is to minister to the needs of the ple! And that can be acheived in various ways. Ple must feel a sense of belonging & love in the cell group. It was a bit strange for me, there were ple who kept laughing and chatting and bickering. I dun remember my cell group being so noisy and fun. ;p The demographics of the grp is also different, a lot from rafflesian family, NUS, NTU, overseas uni etc. Tho I'm not sure if this is the case only for this cg, but as an aside, I think that CHC has done a great job actually in reaching out to the chinese speaking and the masses in general...ple who might never have come to church cos smtimes church can be such an english elitist thing..being brought up from english speaking families and growing up in church.
Well..anyway I wanted to say, it was nice sharing with the small grp my problems. And Jen was saying that she was going thru transition as well! And she said that when she prayed, God asked her to give of herself and lay herself on the altar...and even if it means being single all her life. I was like ya ya ya...I have the same feeling too. This is really tearing me apart...but I believe God is working deeply within my soul and its so hard to surrender to Him everything. It feels like my heart's about to break smtimes..and its just so terrible. Or smtimes I feel nothing. Smtimes I feel angry, God- why do u have to take away something so precious from me. And then I know that...all these things are coming out..and revealing to me..wats really inside my heart. Its so unclean! And I pray that His grace may be sufficient for me to bring me thru.
Yar...and then when we went back, sharon drove me to toa payoh..she wanted to. But my contacts got displaced and then she stopped the car and everyone was so concerned about my eyes. I was so super touched...and they all drove me to my house..even tho they all stayed in the north. And then asked me to sms them when I got home. And then at night willie smsed me to have a good rest..and then the next morning, gab asked me if my eye was ok, and melody smsed me to say she was glad to see me yest. This truly feels like a family. :)
Was chatting with A today! And this was wat he said. I think it was quite sweet and I was quite touched. Really my bro knows me so well.
A: i told sinee
A: that she must convince XJ
A: to be true to herself
A: and find a job suitable to her calling
My life is truly in a mess right now. I've never felt more out of control. Then again, this is only a "feeling". Cos I know that it is very much in control...In the arms of my loving Father.
No comments:
Post a Comment