Haven't been posting much here, cos have been blogging mostly at the other christian blog. :)
It has been a challenging week, and today was one of the most horrible days in my life. It is true that ple get hurt most by the words of the ones closest people to them. And I felt totally unjustified, angry and tired today. Spent some time at the ironing room just listening to christian songs and crying.
Some rays of sunshine....seeing dad wake up again at 645am, on sat, 5 min after I had woken up. He took out the flying wok and said he was gonna fry an egg for me. :P I declined though, cos was in a rush. Nevertheless quite touched, and touched to see him running ard to attend to my mum's requests.
I spent the whole sat out, and sorta in compensation, ironed clothes on friday night instead. Saturday was a tiring but good day. :) Went for SE Forum, and didn't feel comfortable wearing the suit and making small talk with people. But the talks were good, and the question and answer sessions were very thought provoking.
After the session we had lunch with the speakers and I enjoyed chatting with C from Ashoka. He told me about how Ashoka was moving towards working with banks to help wealthy individuals allocate their money to charitable courses. Resonnated well within me, always been interested in venture philantrophy, tying up individuals and social causes together. I'm sure that many individuals have desires to give but don't know where to give. Definitely Singapore may not have many social entrepreneurs, but we have people who can and want to give to social causes.
Once again, it gave me some hope...to envision for the future. :) Perhaps..how good it will be if I can work with Ashoka in the future. Suddenly my finance background made a bit of sense.
It was also good talking to C, don't know why...we were walking and I started burting out many of the things that were in my heart. In particular, I talked abt the Japan Social Enterprise which was set up to help take care of infants who were sick- cos mothers can't take leave to take care of them. And also how mothers face discrimination at the work force. And I couldn't help but comment this social problem compared to starvation etc in the third world seems so much less weighty. And he commented that different societies face different problems. And then he commented that life was not easy for anyone. And because it was not easy, u find that people can't really have compassion or help everyone that they see are in need.
All these relates to me, as I think about my own problems versus the world's problems. And the problems that we face in the developed world are real. Real problems of sadness, depression, loneliness. More stark than anything...under the neon lights...beneath the make up, beneath how we seem to be taking hold of ourselves so well. And that's a problem. And there's a problem of emptiness that we all face......without Christ. A hopeless existence. Everything's changing, but we have a solid rock in Christ.
Don't know if what I said makes sense, cos I have a whole barrage of thoughts, and some emotions choked at my throat. I feel as if...this is getting me closer to the group I've been called to serve. People who are broken hearted. And in the midst, when God comforts me...I am able to comfort others with the comfort He has given me. And I find myself knowing this loving Father more and more everyday. Thank You Jesus. U did not promise problem free life. But u promised Yr presence and rainbow in the midst of our darkness. U have sent us to proclaim liberty to the captives, to heal the broken hearted.
Tmr is another day at work. :P Had an unexpected happy surprise on Friday, a pay raise. Quite a substantial amt. But mostly was encouraged by what my boss said- You did very well last year, and got one of the highest pay increase. This came from nowhere. I did not stay the latest in the office, and in fact was struggling with the mundanity of work. Wow. And yah, I was so encouraged, and also thot of how God blesses us with more..when we are able to be good stewards of little. Trying day by day to live out what John Wesley said- pay increase, standard living remain the same, and giving increases. :D May He give me more to give. Heh. :)
Ok, I shall end this post....on a high note of thanksgiving of His grace and love for me. Amen.
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