New things...

GIC interview was good. Happened to meet this guy from Bizad at the lift. He's already working in GIC. So we chatted and I actually joined his colleagues for lunch! We went to this thai place, and the cost of food was abt 5.90 per plate/bowl. Ate glazed chicken rice, and the rest ate tom yam soup.
U noe wat?

I can picture myself working already.
His colleagues were so young and frenly. There were 6 of us. Two of them were scholars, one back from LSE, another from stanford. :)Two of them were in their late 20s i tink. One of the girls, who was in the late 20s, worked in Ernst and Young b4, and then she went to Paris for one year to study french (Gasp!), before coming to GIC. Hmm. Interesting.

My interviewer told me tat most of the time I will be looking at numbers.
"You must first enjoy working with numbers".

Those of u who have been classmates with me, wat do u tink abt tat?

My personal take...I remember tat I really loved maths. I was good in my stats...calculations are really fine for me.

I am interested in consultancy work, but my english isn't tat great. Neither is my analysis work. My biz policy was so-so..did well cos of Isaac. My APB was not good too.

SO I tink I shd be good with numbers.

---

CG was great. And it is true tat our level of expectancy and hunger will determine our levels of breakthrus. It was great seeing ple reaching out for the Lord. And saying to Him tat we dun have enuff. I believe tat revival will be birthed.
Birthed out when ple cry out to Him, and intercede for one another.

Updates

Interview was quite good today. The lady from Shell was warm and friendly, and made me feel totally at ease. :) Met Joel for bible study after tat. It was a good sharing session.

Nothing much else. Taking a look at the CG sermon, its gonna be a great message abt the Holy Spirit. :)

Okies..gotta go prepare..as well as for tmr's interview.

Thank You Lord.

Repressed...

If u ever wonder why I have to rush home before midnight like cinderella.

Was on the phone with Evan just now, arranging a meeting with Pastor Audrey this week. She asked if Thur nite I can. I was saying betta not, cos Fri morning got interview. My dad started yelling at the background: NO, thur nite cannot. Friday you have got interview. It is so hard to find a job, why can't they change day? Tell them NO!!

Scary..

(Yah in the context of this thing, fri morning I have an interview with GIC)

Sweat drops...
Stress.

If u wonder why I have to rush home for dinner...
and I can't stay up.
Here's why.

Sigh.
I'm finding a job. I'm in a rush. Not cos I want to..but cos of many external reasons.
Dad asks me everyday..did GIC call u again?

Okie enuff of my venting.

SHessh

Aniwae...Dad's driving me to interview tmr morning.

I do have very loving parents..

Just tooooo....
Protective. :(

Jogging..

Nothing much interesting in my life to update. Been reading up on Shell, and the future of oil companies (very minimally), and also resting and sleeping.
Today...went jogging at ECP again. :) Had a good time feeling the breeze.
Do u know sometimes, when u feel happy to be sweating? U are drenched in sweat and u can't be bothered. The warm sun shining on u..and u face the open seas.

EHHEE...

I am gonna be a healthy and smart girl. Yay!!

WOkies...enuff of my fei hua.

Heys..

Heys
Been a few days since i last blogged. Quite ironic since I should be the most free after my thesis? Guess its because while I was doing my thesis, I had to use the computer. :)

Think its been quite a long while since I got a good rest to really do nothing. Heh..not tat I am really doing nothing. Still have the SE and church stuffs now. But its certainly much more relaxed.

Got an interview lined up on thur with Shell. My dream company~!!...still waiting for others to come in. MAS don't want me. :( Boohoo.

Fri nite had KTV with my cg. It was fun hanging out. Tink we shd do tat more often. Watched The Interpretor with Leo on sat. Hehe...today's LIFE has a super sacarstic article on it...go read it.

Yest nite I wrote a poem...heh

Everyday is a winding path
But You give me the courage to walk it
Though in winding paths
One cannot see far ahead
Yet with You so near
My guiding light
I know that I will walk through this path
And I will not fear
Come what may
Rain or shine
I am bold to face it

Only You
Never let me go
Hold my hand and
Walk with me

check out my pics

http://community.webshots.com/user/loisloved4

They include captions inside! So i wun narrate it here. :)

Check out the ocean park ones, with the nice fishes. Look at the South China sea, and the skyscrappers. :)

Multicoloured life

Just back from HK.
It was a great trip.
I went there with two intentions: 1. Get a really good break 2. Learn more things about myself.

Heh.
I did.

It was a blessing going with HY. Cos she has a great sense of direction. We walked and walked and walked. Everyday we walked on the average the distance of 6 MRT stations...shall i also mention the shopping and the good fashion there and low prices?

Have been holding on to many things. On the 2nd nite, as I prayed, God gave me a verse. It was outta my discussion with Yun.
Asked her abt which ministry she gonna go into, and she asked me abt being a cgl. And then it was cool..
She spoke of her fren who likened leadership to sowing seeds. To her, it doesn't matter if the person changes, she just wanted to sow seeds. Someday, these seeds will come to use as her members grow up and experience different situations.
How true.
This led me to one verse in the bible and another and another. And many revelations. Wun share them in detail tonite. :)
But then...
Paul says tat he is a sower, it is God who gives the increase. Paul is also the chief builder. The foundation is non other than Jesus.
So we must work and sow seeds.
I asked God...

God...wat if I sowed many many seeds, how do I know they will grow? I work so hard..and I wanna see them grow.

And then..God showed me...
Trust in the Lord with all ur heart...
Delight youself in Him, and He will give u the desires of ur heart.
When ur will is aligned to HIS will...everything u desire is wat He desires as well? And so...I desire for the seed to grow. It is definitely His desire. So in the end it is about trust.

Its really exciting.

I used to desire this person's company so so so much. And love him so much?
But I realise tat it is not His will for me. Slowly..
my desires converged with the Lord's. And He gave me the grace to let go.

Was reading a fren's blog just now.
He likened his trip overseas to going into the water..a blur, and coming out of it...= coming back to Singapore.
Still got lotsa unresolved issues?

:O

Living life can be a pain..focusing on the issues and the micro.
Each day is...a blur
Each day is a passing moment..
And memories
U rather not keep them because they hurt.

Gotto get past those issues, and see life in its multicolour.

Yun...is not a melancholic person. Heh. Unlike me who likes to tink..and reflect. She's a pragmatist. And thinker.
Thank God for her.
She really compliments me.
She helps me to analyse..by asking me questions. Heh.
I am too FEELING already.
Gotto be more thinking. :)

Okie update again tmr...

:)

I got the peace that I want.

I felt God's presence during CG today. Like a heat that came. Daph felt it too.
I think that He is doing a sancitification work.
Make us Your Holy people!

I'm leaving for HK on sunday morning, back on Wed night.

Cya guys.

Be blessed. Can still sms me.
Dun miss me. :)

Lotsa stuffs to do before I leave.

Parents got home today.

Yeah heh. ok nites

random thots...

Yoo.
Tmr going for numerical reasoning test for GIC. I tink got into 2nd round ..hahaha, since I get to take the test! yay!!
Its a number crunching job. Not so sure if I will like it. I think I pretty much like using excel, and my maths is pretty good. Yup, I will give my bestest shot.

Aniwae...
Met up with joel and eugene today. Glad to see them growing in the Lord. It was great seeing joel giving BS. Can see that he has been praying and meditating on God's word! Whoosh! :) Eugene: my fren got connections to musicians and all, cos he is from strikeforce and plays the drums. May God anoint u as u write ur music.

Yups..
Came home and checked my email..Hmm...have additional responsibility organizing something i din even initiate. It can be quite frustrating.. to be stuck in a situation. SIgh initially I was being nice. But..now I am seriously stuck with the job. I mean, it isn't a v bad thing to do...but cant help feeling a bit whiny abt it. Whine whine..complain.
OKIEEE STOP IT!

I shall stop whining.
Believe tat God gave me this thing...and watever it is I will try my best.

Loneliness

Today's entry is on loneliness.

Loneliness is something that plagues everybody.

You can be among a crowd of people but, you feel really lonely inside, because, non in the crowd seems to connect with you.

Loneliness..can be in the soul. Having the lack of someone to share your emotions or intellectual thought.

And connection.
Its rare to find someone who really connects. Who can understand you from within, and whom u can be comfortable with to share your innermost.

In our desire to be connected sometimes...
We pretend to be people we are not
Heh..even tho we can laugh and talk and seemingly connect...

We don't and our souls are lonely..crying out for betta companionship.

And you dun realise this until u meet someone u can really connect with, and you pour out ur soul.

It is also then...
When we have an intimacy with the Lord that...we realise
We can pour out our soul to Him, and that He always understand.
Esp when...
Humans fail..and are never always there.
Seeking love in the wrong places, can cost us great pain. And seeking affirmation from the wrong places, is only temporal.

Okie..heh
XJ's words of wisdom (2)

How true....

Just chatted with Leo. Hehe. We needed an icebreaker. Cos we haven't talked for long.
Leo has matured so much. And he really encouraged me.
God really moves and touches hearts in very special way.
In His own timing. :)
Thank you God.



The Gospel of the Kingdom
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, April 11, 2005

by Os Hillman

This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did. ~ 1 John 2:5b-6


When Christ came to earth, He came to bring to mankind the gospel of the Kingdom. Over the centuries, the Church has tended to emphasize only a portion of the gospel. That portion is the gospel of salvation. However, Jesus came that we might have more than just salvation. He came to give us a whole new life that was accompanied by signs, wonders, and His Spirit living in us and revealing Himself to us daily. He came so that we might walk on this earth as He did. If our lives are not reflecting the same things as Jesus' did, we must ask why?

I have noticed three distinct types of workplace believers throughout my 24 years of walking with Christ. First, many of us come to Christ out of a need for salvation. Our hearts have been touched by His call on our lives. We reason and analyze the claims of Christ and make a decision for Him. It is the convenient time to accept Him in our lives. This first stage is often characterized by a "Bless me, Lord" attitude toward God. It is the first stage that primarily brings salvation into our lives. Some never really go past this first stage.

The second stage is the crisis stage. A crisis takes place in our lives, and we are motivated to seek Christ with a whole heart. However, this motivation is not out of pure love for Christ; rather, it is motivated by the desire to get out of the pain of living. The motivation is to solve 搕he what? versus 搕he why? in my life at the time. This stage is best characterized as "Help me, Lord."

In the third stage we begin to experience the gospel of the Kingdom. It is the place where Jesus resided in His walk with His heavenly Father. It is the place of conviction. The number of people who live at this level are quite few, but these people are experiencing the reality of a walk with God that is foreign to all others. They are seeing daily occurrences of His involvement in their lives. They are motivated by a deep love for Him. They know Him. These people have an attitude characterized by these thoughts, "Have me, Lord; though He slay me, still will I trust Him."

Where are you today? Have you merely accepted His salvation to simply float along? Or do you seek Him with a whole heart only when a crisis occurs? His desire is for you and me to live a life of conviction, motivated by our love for Him and His love for us. This is where we will experience the gospel of the Kingdom.

Interesting

Memorandum

TO:
Jesus, Son of Joseph
Woodcrafter Carpenter Shop
Nazareth

FROM:
Jordan Management Consultants
Jerusalem

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organisation. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; we have not only run the results through our computer but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have a team concept. We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale.

We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus definitely have radical learnings, and they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man. All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.

We wish you every success in your new venture.

Sincerely yours,
Jordan Management Consultants

Today..

Today I woke up at 11am. First time in my life to wake up so late. But then anyway I slept at 230am. :) Got somewhat a good rest.

Instead of talking abt wat I did today...would like to share some thots tat I have.

Today's thoughts are on commitment phobia.
Ever met someone with commitment phobia? This kinda person may be full of passion and hot air. But when it actually comes to the thing, this person is afraid of being tied down. This person may be very apolegetic about it. But...doesn't matter, he just cannot commit.
I guess it is then we have to manage our expectations abt ple. Else we will get really disappointed.

Wokie..
XJ's words of wisdom.:)

New experiences

Had a good rest day today. Bought some clothes, then cut and colour hair. Heh. Not tat I have a lot of money, but I think I deserve a REST!! :) Was really q therapeutic.

Yest nite I went for overnite prayer meeting. I stayed till 5am for the first time. Actually it ended abt 430am. And it was so amazing. Can feel God's presence thru out the auditorium and we sang many many worship songs.

We sang one of my fave songs too. Can't help noticing that the singing was q faint..cos dun tink many ple know this song. But it has great meaning.
And then we all kneeled and rededicated our lives to God. The whole church became a big altar. :)

FIRES OF REVIVAL
Key: G
Worship

I CAME TO THE GATHERING OF THE PEOPLE OF THE LORD
AND FOUND MY WAY AMONG THEM TO HIS THRONE
I NEEDED TO RETURN UNTO THE ALTER OF MY GOD
TO RENEW AGAIN MY CONVENANT WITH HIM

AND THERE I BUILD AN ALTER TO HIS NAME
AND REALIZED MY LIFE
COULD NEVER BE THE SAME
AND THEN THE FIRE OF REVIVAL
CAME SWEEPING THROUGH MY SOUL
AND I TOUCHED THE HOLY PRESENCE OF MY GOD

COME BUILD AN ALTER UNTO THE LORD
RETURN TO WORSHIP AND HEAR HIS WORD
AND THEN THE FIRE OF REVIVAL
CAME SWEEPING THROUGH MY SOUL
AND I TOUCHED THE HOLY PRESENCE OF MY GOD

The prayer meeting was divided into 3 sessions, in the last session, we worshipped and kept singing many songs. Then pastor tan prayed for us. He asked those who wanted a fresh touch to come forward. It was really good. I felt like a spiritual cleansing..and something new came forth.

Yups! Recharging time..

Came home today and cooked instant mee for myself. Sis is still out with her cg. It feels a little lonely I must admit. But I realise too tat I get recharged by being alone.

Forgot to mention tat I caught a movie with huiyun on wed. It was "Spanglish". Its q a good movie. Interesting. And of cos, the company was good. Wat more can I ask for?

Tmr gonna have dinner with my cousin and sis. Ooh.

Very full fr the instant mee. Hee...
Now gonna help a fren to do research. Then gotto research on GIC. Next interview on Tues!!! Heh. I tink it is really really God..I din even apply for it and got asked for an interview.

You should possess a good Degree in Finance or related fields with at
least three years' relevant working experience in the financial services
industry. Sound knowledge of financial instruments and a high level of
proficiency in MS Access and MS Excel are required. An additional
qualification like CFA would be favourably considered.

Me...I dun have 3 years experience.....
Dunno MS Access
And no CFA.

Heh.

Is ok...will leave it to God.

I believe many new things are coming. Meanwhile I need to clean up the cobwebs. Within and without.

Hehe... link taken from mainer's blog. Remember to tell me if u find someone like that suitable for me ok? "_

Your dating personality profile: Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Wealthy/Ambitious - You know what your goals are and you pursue them vigourously. Achieving success is important to you.

Your date match profile: Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Religious 2. Big-Hearted 3. Wealthy/Ambitious 4. Conservative 5. Practical 6. Adventurous 7. Traditional 8. Intellectual 9. Stylish 10. Outgoing

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Religious 2. Practical 3. Adventurous 4. Intellectual 5. Big-Hearted 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Shy 8. Traditional 9. Athletic 10. Conservative

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Recharging battery

HEys..........
To those who wanna know how the interview went? heh..

Essay quest was...What do u tink is an educated person in the 21st Century...and are u ready for challanges of globalization.
(why does it remind me of GP?)

Discussion question was weird, Interview ques were tough la...strange questions too.
Won't put them here. In case any of u applying for MAS!!!

hahaha...wink*. Selfish XJ.

God has spoken to me a very clear message over these few days. Even tho the SITUATION doesn't seem like it, yet He spoke to my heart. It reminded me of how He spoke to the Israelites and also showed them many signs. And yet because of the situation, they disbelieved.
As for me, I have made a decision to trust in watever He has spoken. Tho it be difficult, I will not see myself as a grasshopper in the promised land.
Really to go back to the basics. Where it is only Him and me. Me and Him.

I desperately want to separate myself from this clutter in my life and go for a retreat like SF did. Today tho...still had MCYS meeting for forum, and also feeling the pressure from my parents to apply for jobs.
I need to pack my stuff...stacks of 4 years of books and notes and piles and piles of rubbish all over my room. I hate mess, but yet all these are building up over the years. Heh. Throw them all away! Yippee.

God blessed me with a holiday. At first it was said to be a trip to Phuket club med.
Then I called them today, and they told me, it was worth 1000 bucks.
God, how did u know I wanted a holiday?
Yup..aniwae no wonder the bible says, even b4 we speak, God already knows our needs. Really.
And so...I am going to Hong Kong with Huiyun for 3 nites 4 days. Prob 2 weeks later. :)

OKies. tats all for now.
I am so hungry. Hungry for His presence..and His word and His new touch. And new revelations. I need You.

Good byes...good nites. I'm going to find my source, and the only one who can give me true rest.

Congratulations!

Yoo
Finally binded my thesis today. Super happy. But when I got it back...realised part of my alignment was wrong. And some font slightly smaller than the rest. :( Okie la, shall not be so "C" and be less perfectionistic.

Yooho.
Can't rest yet. Still gotto study for MAS interview on tues, followed by a presentation to MCYS for our forum on wed.

Quite tired and sleepy la...sob sob.

Sunday I had one of the most wonderful service. Pastor prayed for me 2 times. He said "Power of God come upon her". It was the most amazing thing. Felt so refreshed and strengthened by the Holy Spirit.
Before I fell (For those who are non-charismatic christians, when the Holy Spirit falls on you, there is a weight and u fall under its power), I heard a very distinct voice.
"I have called you to leadership."
Tears began to flow...

Thank You Lord.

After service....waited in church for sometime before i went to school to meet prof. Met up with Kel for dinner at clementi...then went to sch! Sch was so crowded..still with ple studying. On a sunday nite?
Rushed home, completed thesis at 1am lidat...
Rushed to school...reached at 9am.
Eheh.

Okie good nite...time for rest and tmr is another day of interest rates, monetary policy, inflation, china open door policy, US budget deficits. (Hey, I'm not bad!)

Thank you Lord, tat u will lead me to the right job and right place, to shine for You!

Last lap.

Yeah
Finished everything.
Left with the last 10 pages of chap 4 and chap 5, which prof will read and pass to me tmr nite (SUN). At 8pm. Then rush to finish.. Mon print and bind!

I've written all my frivalous stuff..aligned the headers and footers, add borders..change nice font. Did the acknowledgements:

Acknowledgements

This thesis would not have been possible without the help of these individuals that have encouraged me or supported me in one way or another.

First and foremost I would like to thank both my supervisors. I would like to thank Professor Albert Teo for his invaluable advice, friendship and dedication in the midst of his busy schedule. I would also like to thank Professor Wong Poh Kam for his insights and help in conceptualizing the thesis topic.

I would like to thank my family for their support, my parents for their kind understanding and providing me with good food to nourish my body. Special thanks to my sister for her encouragement, prayers and soft toysJ.

Special thanks to the friends that God has brought into my life. I would like to thank Eunice, for always being there as a pillar of support. Thank you to Huiyun, for her wise advice and for always being strong. Thank you to Andrew for always understanding and helping me to grow. Xiaoting and Sam for their encouragement, I really needed it!

To fellow thesis writers, it has been easier completing this thesis as we work hard and encourage each other towards our goal. Thank you to Weijye for his sweets, and more so for his friendship and “jia you”s. I would also like to thank Kelvin, for his encouragement and advice in improving my thesis. Special thanks to my senior, Isaac for his advice and guidance. Also a big thank you to Jonathan and Qinyun for their friendship throughout the days in Bizad. Thank you to Derrick, Shufeng and Minzhi for their prayers, and other bizadders that have egged me on.

I would also like to thank my cell group, N272 for their prayers. It is indeed my privilege to have this bunch of people.

Lastly, I would like to thank my Lord, Jesus Christ for being with me throughout this time. Thank you for being my friend, my counselor, my comfortable and my encourager. To God be all the glory, honour and praise!
Luv,
Xiaojia 2005

Yups.
Finally. Phew.

Andrew called me today..heh, and got his postcard from France? I tink is france. Interesting. ;)
As I look thru my acknowledgement list..realise tat...
God has indeed blessed me with many frens around me. Thank YOU. Without all of u, i wouldn't have made it.

He has blessed me for the past 4 years.
Now as I look in reflection..
He has been so good.
And...
This whole week has been very mama drama.
Hehs.
Pastor visited CG yest nite. called me at 3pm to tell me!
Interesting and exciting...

Next week, I have MAS interview. Which is ard 4 hrs long.
Been reading notes from MAS, abt Singapore's monetary policy. Abt floating exchange rates..pegged to basket of goods. OOooh. I love econs.

Watched Miss Singapore as I read my notes. It really entertained me. I like the winner, Cheryl. She is an example of a girl with looks and intelligence. And..
YUP!! She said Women's greatest weakness= fear, greatest strength = courage. :)
Eunice Orlsen is pretty cool too. :)
I wanna be a new independent woman! Stand up for women rights!