Just came back from a mooncake fest celebration with some elderly from CCWA. My colleague organized a trip there. ;) It was okay I guess...din have much interaction with the elderly, and it brought back some memories of my late grandparents. ;( These elderly came from surrounding one-room flats, and many were deserted by their children. And it also brought to my mind- my parents are going to grow old and elderly, and it was a rather scary thought.
I do care for the elderly ofcos, but this trip has helped put in better perspective what my passion is. Standing in the room, the one that caught my attention was this thin indian woman sitting at the corner, she had a cute toothy smile. ;) I don't know if someone like her could be described as "marginalised". Perhaps she is just different from the roomful of chinese elderly. But strangely it was her who stirred my heart. Just like in the mission trip, the broody boy at the corner, and the shy gal at the other side were the ones who caught my attention. And I think yup...I do have the patience & love to stay with these people, be there for them, and care for them, even if no one loves them.
And so in a way I found my "niche". Heh. Yah. Was really Feng Lao Shi's letter to me, and she was saying how Christ used me to love people. And I am thankful. I think at times I just feel so unloving. But God has given me the gift of mercy- and I think that means being patient and kind to people whom others dun care two hoots abt.
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I felt the weight of the stress this week upon me as I was asked to decide on which airline to book, whether to re-do the bricks etc. (The miniature bricks are tokens we are giving to anyone who donates to our blding proj) Don't laugh at me, maybe these are quite simple decisions for u, but they are tough for me cos I hate to make decisions esp if they implicate other people. Its fine if the implication is on myself. And so I felt stressed out with people seeking me for yes and nos. But this time I learn to wait upon God, and to try and lay aside these pressures to seek Him at night in quiet time. And I'm just glad. I'm going to start over again and re-learn from my past mistakes- I was so burnt out due to undue worry and trying to do things by my own strength.
Met with 2 colleagues from CF this afternoon to pray. And just lifted up the burdens to God. The amazing thing was yest night as I was praying for this morning's meeting with the community trip team, I just had inspiration to share some stuffs about the trip. This morning when we had our Habitat meeting, I just shared with them abt the motivation behind this trip- that it was not pushing for brick sales, but rather, it was to approach ple with sincerity. More than that, the motivation I had was to see people more charitable in the company. And then when I shared, it just reminded me of being in a cell group. Except those ple aren't from my cg, but I've a dream and hope tat in the same way, God will touch their hearts and will anoint my lips. ;) Other then the gift of mercy, I think there is smthing of a pastorial heart within me.
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