I've been listening to FIR's Flight Tribe. It is really very soothing. Can identify with many of the high and low emotions depicted in the lyrics of the songs in the album. In particular I like the song "Tian Tian Ye Ye". It starts with LeAnn Rimes's "How do I live without you", and then the lyrics speak of lost love, but go somewhat like being embraced by you, feeling your presence every night, and remaining in that moment of being loved. And it is really very lovely. :)
I think FIR are christians, cos I remember they said thank you God when they received some prize. And in this album, it begins with the recordings of a voice saying "A voice came from the mountains, from the creator of the universe, saying you shall be my people, forever."
Feeling quite tired. Has been a very hectic 3 weeks? With counseling test, assignments, the fund raising for Habitat as well as quarterly reports at work. Its like a wound up spring waiting to unloose itself. Ha..late nights home and less than 6 hours of sleep everyday. ;D Now just feeling quite lerthargic and almost feel like my brain cells are not working anymore. I'm so glad the weekend is here, and the holiday on Tuesday. I think I need a good long break to recharge, sleep, rest my mind from thinking & decision making and just let loose.
A friend bought a $450 bag from a sale...a bag that would otherwise have cost $1200. Ofcos it is none of my business how people spend their money. But it breaks my heart to think and know that someone else is starving, while we are having our $450 bags. A very vivid analogy that always remains in my mind...is something a friend told me. We were sitting at Haagan Das, and he pointed to the shops downstairs and said, imagine below it was a slum, or there were people starving and poor there, will u still have the heart to spend yr money sitting here and having yr ice-cream, will u still build yr 41 million church building? It's because these people are so far away from us that we don't think about it.
It breaks my heart when I think of that.
Right now my mind is clear when I talk about this. For the past few mths struggling with a mixture of emotions. But now that all is calm, I am glad that I understand better how I am feeling! :> And I am not just being emotional. I am serious! It's just that most people don't think about this, or how unfair it is, or how privileged we are.
I think that there are signs that I have healed. :D Very glad for that. Lots of crying and prayer before the Lord. And the healing was really a process but the breakthroughs came when I released my pain to God, knowing that He understands how I feel, and I am thankful that I never have to face any painful moment alone, and that I can honestly face that pain. Okay, I am having pain, but I know that God u understand. It really helps being honest with yr emotions. :)
Counseling classes have been really good too, in the self discovery process, and cognitive behaviour therapy I apply on myself to correct some of my wrong thinking and assumptions. Yeah yeah...
I'm glad....though still feeling lost wrt to my future. What should I do? Where should I go? Where should I belong. Hence a certain anxiety, but yet a peace that sits in my heart, knowing that He is with me right now and understands my fears. Thank You.
7 comments:
This post reminds me of a scene from the bible. Going by your argument, how are u gg to reconcile the fact that Jesus praised Mary for using the expensive perfume to anoint his feet and your mindset of "we shld be utilitarian for the sake of the poor"? To me your mentality seems quite similar to Judas when he said that the expensive perfume could be sold and the money given to the poor.
In the past, I've always used the argument abt Jesus praising Mary to argue that we shd use our money as a worship to God and hence the extravagant building as part of worship. However if u read the verse in context, Jesus is saying that "For you have the poor with you always but Me you do not have always." And in this context, the reference that Jesus made (John 13:33)is that He shall not be physically present always.
And if we say that, it's ok, cos we shall always have the poor anyway, "the poor you shall have always" is linked to Deut 15:11 where it says that "For the poor will never cease from the land; therefore I command you saying, 'You shall open your hand wide to your btoher, to your poor and your needy, in your land."
This is not a concept of being "utilitarian", in fact it was biblically found in Acts where everyone gave of their possesions to each other.
One more question- are we extravagant for the sake of worshipping God, or are we doing it for the sake of men? Underlying all these is that we should use our money for God's glory. What brings glory to God? Matt 24:40 where the Lord praises someone for feeding the hungry and poor - "I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me."
mmm.... I wonder what you have done with the money you could have spent on "luxury" to help the poor thus far, or plan to in future?
Since "the poor will never cease from the land", we could only do that much to help them within the best of our ability, and it may be abit tough on oneself to feel bad about them perpetually or to feel guilty or sad when others spend 'unnecessarily'?.. Ultimately everything's promoting the economy and creating jobs for people..:P
It is admirable and inspiring however that you should want to choose to spend every spare cent of yours to make a meaningful difference in another's life. That's something we could all learn from..:P
I thought that bible phrase you quoted means to worship and give your attention to Him among all things, and it is only when you place that much value and importance on Him in your life will He be able to make a difference in yours.
Yes, but in this present context, wad if this $49 million dollar building is truly the will of God? Just as it was the will of God that Mary poured out the perfume on Jesus feet for the purpose of His impending "death"?
Although in Acts the Christian did share everything, but does that mean in this present context we should also? Then can i also argue that if Peter walked on water, we should also?
As to yr question, Does it necessarily mean that only when we give out money to the poor we bring glory to god? The bible not only instructs us to give to the poor but to the church and for the pruposes of the church/His kingdom as well.
I dont have a problem with u being passionate for the poor. I believe this is something given to u by God. But i think the statement wrt the $49 mil bldg is where u hv crossed the line. This statement subtly implies that the leadership is wrong which i feel u are not in a position to make that statement at all because u have placed a judgment only God can place.
XT: Thanks for yr comments. Yup. We shd do our best whatever we can to help. And since it will always exist it is not an excuse for us to say that what we do will not matter anyway.
Shar: Firstly I did not write the blog with an intention to judge anyone. But everyone is entitled to his/her opinions. As u have mentioned before, Paul and Peter also had differnce in views. And in that case Paul spoke out aloud against Peter because he felt that something was wrong.
Anyway, the Acts church vs Peter walking on water is not a good comparison. Because in 2Corinthians 8-9, Paul also had the same view.
"Ofcourse, I don't mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean there should be some equality. Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it. In this way, things will be equal."
The theme runs in parallel in the Old testament of having the year of Jubilee for example, and to return the land to the poor.
If Peter walking on water means anything to us in present day context, I think it implies having faith in God. In the same way, the Acts church demonstrate a giving spirit which God desires for us to have.
Note that I did not say that God is displeased with the 49 million dollar building. I merely said that it broke MY heart. I am aware that God has His own sovereign ways of working, and I've been praying and asking Him to show me if I am wrong.
yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinions but i think one needs to strike a balance between having a right to say wadeva one wants and being a responsible netizen.
Note that u have frens who are from chc visitng yr blog and u do have the power to influence them. your thoughts feelings etc will carry weight and wad yr thots and feelings are antithetical to the vision of chc.
"imagine below it was a slum, or there were people starving and poor there, will u still have the heart to spend yr money sitting here and having yr ice-cream, will u still build yr 41 million church building?"
u can always write about the spirit of giving w/o having to make reference to the $49 million bldg. by having made that reference u are implying wad chc is doing is wrong. therefore u have made a judgment. wad u have said has the potential plant a seed of unbelief in the heart of a chc member toward the vision Pst Kong is rallying his members toward (btw, we're currently entering into the season of bldg fund), creating disunity.
Therefore my concern is NOT that u're dissapproving of pst's vision but that to be mindful of the consequences of the thoughts u make public.
As the old adage goes, "the pen is mightier than the sword" and in this case the keyboard is mightier than the sword. One thing to remember, despite our differences in how we shld reach out to the community, we are all workers for Christ doing our best with the vision God has planted in our hearts. We are not enemies but co-workers in Christ. As such, I felt yr statement was "an attack" on the vision and work of CHC and that's not very nice, which u probably did not mean it to be.
I agree with u that the spirit of giving and the spirit of faith is translatable to our present times and not necessarily the methods. However, when u blog about the christians sharing ALL their possessions, it gives the impression that to be good christians we have to do the same. To me, the Acts example was a case specific to the context of their times (they were pioneers and there was no public humanitarian support for the poor in their culture at that time), just as walking on water was specific to that particular context.
I understand that u are still sturggling with the money and church issue but sometimes instead of focusing on finding the "right" answer, focusing on the vision God has planted in our hearts individually and encouraging each other in the good work of the Lord may be more pertinent/fruitful. In the end, God is not gg to judge us on how right or wrong we are but how faithful /fruitfulwe have been to the calling he had called us to.
cheers.
Hi, thanks for yr clarification, and I do see where u are coming from. The fears of stumbling another are always with me, and as I write, I am conscious of the influence I have on the other. I try to be sensitive to others wrt to my blog posts, and that is also being christian and loving. Hence I have refrained from sharing some of the other thoughts that I have right here.
In the context of this post the emphasis is to ask readers to reflect on how they are spending their money. It is intentionally thought provoking. Someone may ignore this post and continue to buy $450 bags after reading this post. I like what Pastor Edmund from Covenant says, that he never persuades people to donate to the building fund, but he challenges the congregation to go back home, open up the bible and read for themselves what is inside, and whether this is a work of God.
I think it is impt for any christian to go back and look through what has been preached. And one must not be afraid to read of alternative view points.
My point is not to debate whether anyone is right or wrong. But rather that we may be open to hear from the other side of the story. When my friend first shared with me about sharing possessions, I reacted in a very defensive manner, and I was angry at him for saying things in a very insensitive manner. But slowly as I considered and also started reading up what different christian authors were saying, it just opened up my eyes to another paradigm.
I am in no position to say any pastor is right or wrong. But I do say that as humans, we are all imperfect and may be imperfect in our interpretation. I read an article by Pastor Prince saying he felt God speak to him about preaching more about grace. I do not fully agree with what he preaches, however, I know many are blessed by his messages on grace. And so God uses us in our imperfections.
I am opposed to christians fighting in the name of who is right and wrong. And criticizing others was defintely not the point abt this post.
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