I had a good weekend, spending time with various ones, and sharing the things that were heavy/knotted in my heart. Felt my soul was blessed, and encouraged. Thankful for the book on God's will that Charlene lent me. And glad that I could express deep things that were troubling me. Have started reading a few pages, and thought that it addressed some issues i was facing, and felt that it was a word in season.
Yup, today I went back to GIC for lunch with my ex-colleagues, and it was a lovely walk down memory path. The memories were vivid, and encouraging as I recalled the journey God had led me in.
And yesterday, I attended Clare's wedding. Blessed my heart deeply as the couple sang "Amazing Love" together, and after that sang the song they had co-wrote together called "Waiting for you". It spoke of all the lonely pangs longing for each other, and how God shaped them through the waiting, to finally the day of marriage. It was so wonderfully sweet, and divine. :) The food was good, and the place was posh as they had many guests of great statue. But it was not those that impressed me, but rather of how they testified of God's love thru the singing, and their wedding was a testimony of the grace & love of God. It shifted my paradigm, as I realised that God is a God of abundance, and His providence to His children glorifies Him.
Spent q a lot of time chatting with Ed as well, and was edified. Was able to express the knotty issues in my heart, weighing on me for some time. Glad that he was able to understand as he had also thought the same way about some stuffs. The really amazing thing is how he manages to articulate some of the thoughts I had, cos I am really a very "feeling" person, and sometimes I can't exactly capture why I am feeling a certain way. So I am thankful.
I think the greatest thing of all is being able to come bk to this place of joyfulness. Feel my spirits are slowly being lifted up and encouraged. As I realise and understand that our walk with God is not just about "surrender", but about joyful surrender. That surrender does not just entail sacrifice and loneliness, but it comes with the expectancy that a great and faithful God wants to bless us. That He does not just provide spiritually, but materially as well. He can grant us abundance because we are His children and He loves us.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The warmth in the heart
Got back from Indonesia on Monday night and had a warm welcome! :) Came home and slept and slept and slept until 11am. It was like every muscle was filled with fatique, and I cldn't get up! Had all the overwhelming feelings of tiredness and discouragement that I cried as I prayed. And am thankful for E.P. for listening to me on the phone and praying with me. I think discouragement is such a stealthy enemy that lurks in yr heart and manifests itself when you lest know it. Hence the importance to keep oneself strong in the mind, body and spirit.
I grew through the trip to Indonesia. It was once in a lifetime experience, and I was blessed by the people there.
My key takeaways:
1. It is not about our sacrifices but about God's faithfulness. I saw the faithfulness of God in individual lives, truly, it is only Him working in our lives that brings convictions and change.
Part of my prayer journal:
"Lord, I discover that such short term trips are not just about me feeling burden or pity. But truly, what really captures my heart during such trips is being able to see Your faithfulness and Your mercy and love so abundant. And seeing changed lives that have been impacted by You. You seem so much more real in these lives because of the manner in which they have really changed in terms of their values, lives, purposes- all so Godward."
2. God loves me as I am, and I do not need to keep striving to meet expectations of myself and others.
Felt very stretched and stressed before the trip, cos I felt I had to write a report with recommendations of what we shd do at Indonesia. And I was the only staff, plus the 4 other people going with me are 20-30 years older than me. The schedule of what we were going to do was not confirmed, and it was basically an exploratory trip. But thank God everything fell into place, and my companions were very gracious indeed.
Felt God assured me not to care so much about what people said, but He loved me- and I was His child.
3. Building relationships with people and being intentional in spending quality time with people is important. These are really great ministry opportunities.
Thankful for the guest house we stayed in, which had a living room with sofas. Visitors came to our place and chatted with us over tea, coffee and milo. And it was edifying taking time to share our lives and to hear their testimonies, and to pray for them. Thankful for Audrey who facilitated most of the sessions and was never in a rush to finish the chats- one of which ended at 11plus pm.
4. Relating to family and to older authority is not that difficult.
I think I experienced a mini breakthrough. Cos 3 of my companions were my parents age, and 1 other was in her 40s. At first I was worried about being the only young person there, of how they will view me, or how I shd react, or how I shd try and be more mature, and will I be lonely? Ofcos in my heart I missed having my peers to share with. But they were all kind, and in their kindness, I felt respected as an adult, and I was thankful for the healthy boundaries. It was kind of cosy, like a family.
Yup...and there are many more. Little thoughts here and there that warmed my heart.
I grew through the trip to Indonesia. It was once in a lifetime experience, and I was blessed by the people there.
My key takeaways:
1. It is not about our sacrifices but about God's faithfulness. I saw the faithfulness of God in individual lives, truly, it is only Him working in our lives that brings convictions and change.
Part of my prayer journal:
"Lord, I discover that such short term trips are not just about me feeling burden or pity. But truly, what really captures my heart during such trips is being able to see Your faithfulness and Your mercy and love so abundant. And seeing changed lives that have been impacted by You. You seem so much more real in these lives because of the manner in which they have really changed in terms of their values, lives, purposes- all so Godward."
2. God loves me as I am, and I do not need to keep striving to meet expectations of myself and others.
Felt very stretched and stressed before the trip, cos I felt I had to write a report with recommendations of what we shd do at Indonesia. And I was the only staff, plus the 4 other people going with me are 20-30 years older than me. The schedule of what we were going to do was not confirmed, and it was basically an exploratory trip. But thank God everything fell into place, and my companions were very gracious indeed.
Felt God assured me not to care so much about what people said, but He loved me- and I was His child.
3. Building relationships with people and being intentional in spending quality time with people is important. These are really great ministry opportunities.
Thankful for the guest house we stayed in, which had a living room with sofas. Visitors came to our place and chatted with us over tea, coffee and milo. And it was edifying taking time to share our lives and to hear their testimonies, and to pray for them. Thankful for Audrey who facilitated most of the sessions and was never in a rush to finish the chats- one of which ended at 11plus pm.
4. Relating to family and to older authority is not that difficult.
I think I experienced a mini breakthrough. Cos 3 of my companions were my parents age, and 1 other was in her 40s. At first I was worried about being the only young person there, of how they will view me, or how I shd react, or how I shd try and be more mature, and will I be lonely? Ofcos in my heart I missed having my peers to share with. But they were all kind, and in their kindness, I felt respected as an adult, and I was thankful for the healthy boundaries. It was kind of cosy, like a family.
Yup...and there are many more. Little thoughts here and there that warmed my heart.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Indonesia- I'm coming...
Tmr morning I am going to Indonesia. I feel a mixture of excitement and stress. I realise that being a staff on trips is quite different from being a volunteer.
As a staff, the stress level is much higher as I have to think of deliverables from the trip, and provide the answers for people. Hand in reports, recommendations and so on. Whereas as a volunteer, there is perhaps more energy being spent on ministry and reflections and looking at things.
I hope I wont be too caught up with administrative stuff either, or be overly self conscious, and have loads of time for reflection for God to speak to me. =)
Looked through loads of photos today at office, and writeups of various short term trips. The photos remind me of why I am here again. And yup, I like the energy of the volunteers. Somehow tho, I just feel like its not enough. There's a feeling inside like- can short term trips do much? One group comes and the other leaves, and each grp leaves behind some warmth and love and friendship. I really hope that it makes a difference. I know it does change the short-termers hearts. I hope the projects are sustainable in the long term as well. And that ple don't just leave feeling good that they had done something. But lives change, and they start living changed lives. Sigh. This is the perfectionistic and idealistic me surfacing.
One thing really to give thanks for, my parents position on my traveling has improved tremendously. And they are pretty concerned about me as well. I'm glad I waited for the job, waited for the miraculous approval from my parents. Because of this miracle, I am much more at rest tat even tho I sometimes feel tired, this is the place God has opened for me at this time, for this season. Likewise in all aspects of life, I am learning to wait on Him for His timing. He spoke something tho- that all good gifts come from Him. =) Thank God for His beautiful gift. May everything be made beautiful in His time!
As a staff, the stress level is much higher as I have to think of deliverables from the trip, and provide the answers for people. Hand in reports, recommendations and so on. Whereas as a volunteer, there is perhaps more energy being spent on ministry and reflections and looking at things.
I hope I wont be too caught up with administrative stuff either, or be overly self conscious, and have loads of time for reflection for God to speak to me. =)
Looked through loads of photos today at office, and writeups of various short term trips. The photos remind me of why I am here again. And yup, I like the energy of the volunteers. Somehow tho, I just feel like its not enough. There's a feeling inside like- can short term trips do much? One group comes and the other leaves, and each grp leaves behind some warmth and love and friendship. I really hope that it makes a difference. I know it does change the short-termers hearts. I hope the projects are sustainable in the long term as well. And that ple don't just leave feeling good that they had done something. But lives change, and they start living changed lives. Sigh. This is the perfectionistic and idealistic me surfacing.
One thing really to give thanks for, my parents position on my traveling has improved tremendously. And they are pretty concerned about me as well. I'm glad I waited for the job, waited for the miraculous approval from my parents. Because of this miracle, I am much more at rest tat even tho I sometimes feel tired, this is the place God has opened for me at this time, for this season. Likewise in all aspects of life, I am learning to wait on Him for His timing. He spoke something tho- that all good gifts come from Him. =) Thank God for His beautiful gift. May everything be made beautiful in His time!
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Identity
Its sunday night again. :) Good to know that tmr I don't have to work!
Not very sure what to blog about, am struggling through some times of letting go of something that is precious again, and cos my fren reminded me of a post I had written 2 years ago, I went back and re-read it. The emotions then were very real, and I remembered I was crying as I was typing. Time doesn't heal, but grace and God coupled with time does.
Grateful for today, being able to pray a closure prayer, tho with much pain in the heart. I know I can so-called bounce back again hiding behind the cheery smile. But this time I really want to work through the pain, because God cares for my emotions a lot.
Silly old me got the time wrong for our meeting today, and so did another DGL. So I was chatting with him for about 1 hr plus as we waited for the meeting. In a way it was a very edifying time for me, cos he was asking me a lot of questions about my mission trips, my job, and the people I had been counseling. He is a few years younger than me and a very good listener. So as I was talking, I felt on the inside, wah, what a journey God has brought me through. And I was surprised by my own life, in a way encouraged to look beyond the problems and to remind myself of God's faithfulness and the uniqueness of my identity.
I think God reminded me of my identity while we had devotion at work on Thursday. As we quietened down and prayed, He showed me the smiling face of my JC fren. And somehow the memories of who I was flooded back. Since I don't know my colleagues that well at work yet, I am quite quiet at work. Whereas in GIC, I can be rather noisy cos I am close to the colleagues, and I think they appreciate my jokes. ;p And then there is this idealistic side of me, a lot of visions & dreams on the inside. And the reflective side that thinks too much. So I've been trying to repress who I really am, because I am adjusting to a new environment. But yup, I think I shd just be myself and be happy for who I am.
I often take a long time to warm up with people. Maybe more so face-to-face. Cos when I was younger, I think my opinion was sometimes shouted down at. So I have a lack of confidence in voicing my views. It is only when I know I am in a safe environment, that I share openly how I feel on the inside. That's why blogging, emailing and msning is so much easier for me to share. Even in church and in previous work place, I think I took more than 6 mths to a year before I finally can show my true self to them. But then again, I don't show all I am because some thoughts on the inside I feel are quite radical and diff from social norms. So when I finally meet someone who understands, it is really like finding a pearl and I just open up cos I know I am in a safe environment.
However, actually I think I am just a very simple person in a way to know. Or u can say I am pretty boring. ;( Just a cuppa tea (camomile pls), a book, a blog, a fren. Or the beach. Or the stars. Or a hug. Makes me happy. There's nothing much more I desire I think...
Today Pastor Kay Kiong shared this quote "happiness is not happiness unless it is shared". Truly, thats how I feel. I long for a community whereby I can share. And if not share, actually sitting under the stars with the same unspoken heartbeat and vision is enough. I am a true romantic at heart. :)
So anyway, I'm feeling more cheerful now, having typed until here. =) Thankful that my xiao mei smsed me and asked me out tmr cos she wanted to talk abt stuffs. And I was like aha! Yay, someone whom I can talk to. But still. The silence is quite deafening sometimes.
Not very sure what to blog about, am struggling through some times of letting go of something that is precious again, and cos my fren reminded me of a post I had written 2 years ago, I went back and re-read it. The emotions then were very real, and I remembered I was crying as I was typing. Time doesn't heal, but grace and God coupled with time does.
Grateful for today, being able to pray a closure prayer, tho with much pain in the heart. I know I can so-called bounce back again hiding behind the cheery smile. But this time I really want to work through the pain, because God cares for my emotions a lot.
Silly old me got the time wrong for our meeting today, and so did another DGL. So I was chatting with him for about 1 hr plus as we waited for the meeting. In a way it was a very edifying time for me, cos he was asking me a lot of questions about my mission trips, my job, and the people I had been counseling. He is a few years younger than me and a very good listener. So as I was talking, I felt on the inside, wah, what a journey God has brought me through. And I was surprised by my own life, in a way encouraged to look beyond the problems and to remind myself of God's faithfulness and the uniqueness of my identity.
I think God reminded me of my identity while we had devotion at work on Thursday. As we quietened down and prayed, He showed me the smiling face of my JC fren. And somehow the memories of who I was flooded back. Since I don't know my colleagues that well at work yet, I am quite quiet at work. Whereas in GIC, I can be rather noisy cos I am close to the colleagues, and I think they appreciate my jokes. ;p And then there is this idealistic side of me, a lot of visions & dreams on the inside. And the reflective side that thinks too much. So I've been trying to repress who I really am, because I am adjusting to a new environment. But yup, I think I shd just be myself and be happy for who I am.
I often take a long time to warm up with people. Maybe more so face-to-face. Cos when I was younger, I think my opinion was sometimes shouted down at. So I have a lack of confidence in voicing my views. It is only when I know I am in a safe environment, that I share openly how I feel on the inside. That's why blogging, emailing and msning is so much easier for me to share. Even in church and in previous work place, I think I took more than 6 mths to a year before I finally can show my true self to them. But then again, I don't show all I am because some thoughts on the inside I feel are quite radical and diff from social norms. So when I finally meet someone who understands, it is really like finding a pearl and I just open up cos I know I am in a safe environment.
However, actually I think I am just a very simple person in a way to know. Or u can say I am pretty boring. ;( Just a cuppa tea (camomile pls), a book, a blog, a fren. Or the beach. Or the stars. Or a hug. Makes me happy. There's nothing much more I desire I think...
Today Pastor Kay Kiong shared this quote "happiness is not happiness unless it is shared". Truly, thats how I feel. I long for a community whereby I can share. And if not share, actually sitting under the stars with the same unspoken heartbeat and vision is enough. I am a true romantic at heart. :)
So anyway, I'm feeling more cheerful now, having typed until here. =) Thankful that my xiao mei smsed me and asked me out tmr cos she wanted to talk abt stuffs. And I was like aha! Yay, someone whom I can talk to. But still. The silence is quite deafening sometimes.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Contradictions
I'm at home on a Friday night cos there is a one month's break for IDT! :) It feels kind of weird. But these days, I feel a bit anti-social, and I like staying at home reading books, surfing net, watching TV, and praying! :P
Cos the office is so small, there's less than 10 of us, some days I feel like I don't finish using up my quota of words. Sometimes MSN and smses during working hours really help! Time seems to pass by slowly but somewhat fruitfully. ;) I really like the projects that I'm reading up on everyday! So that kind of fuels me. Plus the faces at Cambodia that stick somewhere up in my head, really spurs me to go on in spite of all the other challenges I am facing at work.
So actually I am in need of meeting ple to chit chat after work! Actually I've got many many frens and I am like always busy. But to find a really like minded fren to share with, that is like finding a precious pearl!
ha...I'm probably getting incoherent, cos actually I am rather tired! I wake up at the same time everyday as when I worked at GIC, but I reach office 30 min later. That's how far the journey from home to office is. And sometimes, office feels so secluded, like it is sheltered from the movement of time. Before I know it, it is 630pm and it is time to go off. I wonder how long I will be in this job? Hmm. Is it not a good sign to be wondering this? Well, actually I am not unhappy, I feel v at peace. But I do wonder, what's next after this? Cos afterall, I wanted to take up this job to explore abt future, prepare my own heart of the possibility of becoming a missionary, and my parents' getting used to my traveling. Hmm. But whats next? I really don't know. And I think it is not something I need to know now! Its like a moulding period of just waiting...being shaped.
I'm flying again! From the 12-16th June, will be going to Indonesia this time! Going to meet ple at the bible schools there, and explore ministry opportunities for GB. SO EXCITING! Traveling is the best part sometimes, but yet another contradiction, traveling can be so lonely as well! And getting used to new environment....not having enough sleep etc.
So this basically sums up life now. Which is filled with contradictions. :P But underlyingly, I am blessed and loved. And I am thankful. :)
Cos the office is so small, there's less than 10 of us, some days I feel like I don't finish using up my quota of words. Sometimes MSN and smses during working hours really help! Time seems to pass by slowly but somewhat fruitfully. ;) I really like the projects that I'm reading up on everyday! So that kind of fuels me. Plus the faces at Cambodia that stick somewhere up in my head, really spurs me to go on in spite of all the other challenges I am facing at work.
So actually I am in need of meeting ple to chit chat after work! Actually I've got many many frens and I am like always busy. But to find a really like minded fren to share with, that is like finding a precious pearl!
ha...I'm probably getting incoherent, cos actually I am rather tired! I wake up at the same time everyday as when I worked at GIC, but I reach office 30 min later. That's how far the journey from home to office is. And sometimes, office feels so secluded, like it is sheltered from the movement of time. Before I know it, it is 630pm and it is time to go off. I wonder how long I will be in this job? Hmm. Is it not a good sign to be wondering this? Well, actually I am not unhappy, I feel v at peace. But I do wonder, what's next after this? Cos afterall, I wanted to take up this job to explore abt future, prepare my own heart of the possibility of becoming a missionary, and my parents' getting used to my traveling. Hmm. But whats next? I really don't know. And I think it is not something I need to know now! Its like a moulding period of just waiting...being shaped.
I'm flying again! From the 12-16th June, will be going to Indonesia this time! Going to meet ple at the bible schools there, and explore ministry opportunities for GB. SO EXCITING! Traveling is the best part sometimes, but yet another contradiction, traveling can be so lonely as well! And getting used to new environment....not having enough sleep etc.
So this basically sums up life now. Which is filled with contradictions. :P But underlyingly, I am blessed and loved. And I am thankful. :)
Friday, May 23, 2008
Just a kind word
Took a cab home today from church after much deliberation on how much damage it will cost my wallet. ;p In the end succumbed to the tiredness of the week and oh, it is still a work day for me tmr.
On the taxi, I started chatting with the driver, and he told me about his wife having adultary, the tough time his children and him were going through, and how things were bad at his church. He told me some things his church leaders did, which made me feel really sorry for him. But then, it is only his side of the story. But anyway, I just listened to him, and at the end of the ride, I asked if I could keep his family in prayer, and he could feel free to visit my church. I thought he looked slightly touched, and I was glad to have the opportunity to listen to him.
This incident made me think of something- that sometimes, all it takes to encourage someone, is a listening ear, and a kind word. That's all someone needs. And there is so much power in a word, it can cause damage, yet it can result in much edification. :)
Yesterday, a fren sent me a sms that really encouraged me. I was so edified, and am thankful for this new found friendship whereby we can share with each other:
筱嘉，你是个简单的人，却又心思细腻，能用复杂的字眼表达你的思绪。是个善良的人，却对社会中不公平的事愤愤不平。你对生活没有要求，但在神的国镀里有着无限的理想于盼望。最后，你是个又高又黑的女孩，却不爱运动，怕晒太阳！你是个特别的女孩，我很庆幸认识你。;-)
You can feel free to agree or disagree with this sms though! But whatever it is, it really touched me. :)
These days I feel a deep sense of purposefulness at work. But yet like Joshua going into new land, there are many giants to kill. Mostly, the giants are the ones hidden inside my heart. So many fears & apprehensions. Yet God is ever present to comfort. Not sure if He sent an angel...but as I prayed 2 nights ago after a bad day, I felt really comforted by Him. And it dawned upon me something. When J and I were together, he told me that thru his love, he will show me God's unconditional love. And there I was still yearning for unconditional love, but yearning for it in the wrong places. In a relationship, the love that we give each other is merely a shadow of God's love for us, only His love is unconditional. And the Lord seemed to tell me that He can...and He will give me this unconditional love. I was glad. And happy. Even though the trials are still there, I know He loves me.
So anyway...I know He is dealing with many giants on the inside. And yup...somedays I just feel insecure and everything is like so fluid. Even in relationships and friendships, there's this insecurity that what if someone finds out who I really am, and stops loving me etc. And I think He is teaching me to be secure in Him. And to learn to love others in the way He loves me.
On the taxi, I started chatting with the driver, and he told me about his wife having adultary, the tough time his children and him were going through, and how things were bad at his church. He told me some things his church leaders did, which made me feel really sorry for him. But then, it is only his side of the story. But anyway, I just listened to him, and at the end of the ride, I asked if I could keep his family in prayer, and he could feel free to visit my church. I thought he looked slightly touched, and I was glad to have the opportunity to listen to him.
This incident made me think of something- that sometimes, all it takes to encourage someone, is a listening ear, and a kind word. That's all someone needs. And there is so much power in a word, it can cause damage, yet it can result in much edification. :)
Yesterday, a fren sent me a sms that really encouraged me. I was so edified, and am thankful for this new found friendship whereby we can share with each other:
筱嘉，你是个简单的人，却又心思细腻，能用复杂的字眼表达你的思绪。是个善良的人，却对社会中不公平的事愤愤不平。你对生活没有要求，但在神的国镀里有着无限的理想于盼望。最后，你是个又高又黑的女孩，却不爱运动，怕晒太阳！你是个特别的女孩，我很庆幸认识你。;-)
You can feel free to agree or disagree with this sms though! But whatever it is, it really touched me. :)
These days I feel a deep sense of purposefulness at work. But yet like Joshua going into new land, there are many giants to kill. Mostly, the giants are the ones hidden inside my heart. So many fears & apprehensions. Yet God is ever present to comfort. Not sure if He sent an angel...but as I prayed 2 nights ago after a bad day, I felt really comforted by Him. And it dawned upon me something. When J and I were together, he told me that thru his love, he will show me God's unconditional love. And there I was still yearning for unconditional love, but yearning for it in the wrong places. In a relationship, the love that we give each other is merely a shadow of God's love for us, only His love is unconditional. And the Lord seemed to tell me that He can...and He will give me this unconditional love. I was glad. And happy. Even though the trials are still there, I know He loves me.
So anyway...I know He is dealing with many giants on the inside. And yup...somedays I just feel insecure and everything is like so fluid. Even in relationships and friendships, there's this insecurity that what if someone finds out who I really am, and stops loving me etc. And I think He is teaching me to be secure in Him. And to learn to love others in the way He loves me.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Stretched & challenged
I'm feeling really tired this week....challenged by relationships with people, memorising 30 bible verses and other readings for IDT test....lack of sleep, challenged by people's emotional needs, and work is also building up! Pray, must pray, must strengthen myself in the Lord. Keep me in yr prayers pls!
Sorry sorry for this needy post. :D But I know I cannot sustain myself without God & divine intervention. Lets uphold one another in prayer and u may let me know yr prayer requests as well!
Sorry sorry for this needy post. :D But I know I cannot sustain myself without God & divine intervention. Lets uphold one another in prayer and u may let me know yr prayer requests as well!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Lovely faces in the crowd
Hello! I'm back from Cambodia! :)
This won't be a long post cos I've got loads of stuffs to do! Woke up today, unpacked my stuffs, uploaded photos to the comp, went for lunch & groceries with parents, and then slept....and my gosh! By the time I woke up it was almost 6pm. I am so tired!
Since the nature of my trip this time was slightly different, not really missions, but more so to view the projs & needs there, it did feel different. And shall not elaborate here, but faced some challenges. Nevertheless, I think it is good time for me to toughen up and not be overly sensitive over things. I feel a mixture of being overwhelmed, and yet a deep sense of excitement at the potential of the diff projects! I'm kind of looking forward to work tmr. :)
Its also weird when passion & work mix together, cos now as I am at home, looking at photos and reflecting, some of the reflections are related to work too. So in that sense, also need to ensure that I do set apart time to rest!
This time after reading books and learning abt missions, I actually intentionally spoke to the missionaries there, and tried to encourage them. It is impt cos they are like the unsung heros that are forgotten. Whenver teams go, they just do their ministry and treat the missionary like a travel agent or something- who plans itinery for them. Very bad!
Again, I was touched by little children playing and singing songs (some worship and praise songs too!), and remembered the verse where Jesus asked us not to stop little children from coming into His kingdom. This poverty of the spirit, and purity of heart, certainly blessed my heart a lot. And the glory of God! Singing songs in diff languages to Him. =) My only fear is that these little children become nameless faces to us. We took numerous photos of the kids. Sometimes it felt like tourism. I have a desire to get to know individuals- their names, their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, their passions etc etc. Which I know at my level I will perhaps not be able to do it. But really, I think a sponsorship program may be up soon, and we can link up sponsors to individual children, which would be really so meaningful.
We visited the slums, the villagers by the river, an island, and also the pdn centre- whereby women are trained to sew and weave to produce lovely bags. Oh yes, I bought a bag for myself. :) Its really lovely! If u are interested, u may also come by my office to get the bags. http://www.villageworks.com/product/our_product.html
I don't think I will share that much on the projs that we are doing here! Due to it being work. But if u are interested, do catch me offline!
Cheerios..
This won't be a long post cos I've got loads of stuffs to do! Woke up today, unpacked my stuffs, uploaded photos to the comp, went for lunch & groceries with parents, and then slept....and my gosh! By the time I woke up it was almost 6pm. I am so tired!
Since the nature of my trip this time was slightly different, not really missions, but more so to view the projs & needs there, it did feel different. And shall not elaborate here, but faced some challenges. Nevertheless, I think it is good time for me to toughen up and not be overly sensitive over things. I feel a mixture of being overwhelmed, and yet a deep sense of excitement at the potential of the diff projects! I'm kind of looking forward to work tmr. :)
Its also weird when passion & work mix together, cos now as I am at home, looking at photos and reflecting, some of the reflections are related to work too. So in that sense, also need to ensure that I do set apart time to rest!
This time after reading books and learning abt missions, I actually intentionally spoke to the missionaries there, and tried to encourage them. It is impt cos they are like the unsung heros that are forgotten. Whenver teams go, they just do their ministry and treat the missionary like a travel agent or something- who plans itinery for them. Very bad!
Again, I was touched by little children playing and singing songs (some worship and praise songs too!), and remembered the verse where Jesus asked us not to stop little children from coming into His kingdom. This poverty of the spirit, and purity of heart, certainly blessed my heart a lot. And the glory of God! Singing songs in diff languages to Him. =) My only fear is that these little children become nameless faces to us. We took numerous photos of the kids. Sometimes it felt like tourism. I have a desire to get to know individuals- their names, their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, their passions etc etc. Which I know at my level I will perhaps not be able to do it. But really, I think a sponsorship program may be up soon, and we can link up sponsors to individual children, which would be really so meaningful.
We visited the slums, the villagers by the river, an island, and also the pdn centre- whereby women are trained to sew and weave to produce lovely bags. Oh yes, I bought a bag for myself. :) Its really lovely! If u are interested, u may also come by my office to get the bags. http://www.villageworks.com/product/our_product.html
I don't think I will share that much on the projs that we are doing here! Due to it being work. But if u are interested, do catch me offline!
Cheerios..
2 photos of individual children who were more than a crowd.
Boy sharing biscuit with his brother. :) From the way they ate the sweet treats, I knew that they hardly had opportunities to eat biscuits and sweets. I loved the simplicity and the sweet spirit there.
Girl who gave me her coloured drawing. :)
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The eve before
I couldn't help the slight anxiety as everything came together, meetings and packing...and tmr I'm flying! And today I had a slight flu. Just feeling a bit tired. But I'm thankful now, for some moments of sitting at the computer, to be able to blog, to listen to worship songs, so settle my heart.
Tmr morning its work, afternoon meeting, go home pick up bag, then go airport. ;p
I'm physically a bit challenged, but I am excited cos i will get to see the projects I have been reading about for the past one week. God is challenging me to let go off things, as I am still desperately trying to be in control of diff situations in my life, this need for security and assurance and edification is strong. ;O
Tmr morning its work, afternoon meeting, go home pick up bag, then go airport. ;p
I'm physically a bit challenged, but I am excited cos i will get to see the projects I have been reading about for the past one week. God is challenging me to let go off things, as I am still desperately trying to be in control of diff situations in my life, this need for security and assurance and edification is strong. ;O
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Updates on work!
In the office right now! We have to work on satudays but off on mondays. I can think of some plus and minus points for such an arrangement! But anyway it is not something I have control over. ;) The week feels a little short, cos saturday doesn't exactly feel like a working day. Plus I heard on Sat they usually have events going on. So yes, time passes. In my new job, I am even more conscious of how I spend my time, because I know my salary comes from donations. And so I try not to slack too much. ;) However, for the first one week I have been here, I've not been too busy. Just been reading up on documentations on projects, compiling it into a spreadsheet summary. Starting to follow-up on some issues here and there. Basically the time has been good, as I also surf into sites that introduce Cambodia, and also sites of various NGOs in Cambodia or other places. It has been encouraging, inspiring and uplifting to hear of such stories. At the same time, heart wrenching to look at photos and to read into Cambodia's history. If u have time, look at photos here: http://www.julian.li/cambodia/
They grabbed my heart big time. ;p
Yup, and so it has not always been good, there were also low periods. Shan't elaborate here. Its just been a little difficult cos of the transition. Most of it does not have to do with external influences, but more of my expectations about things, and adapting to a new environment. I'm learning learning...
I'm looking forward to next week because I will be going to Cambodia to visit the various projects and ministries there. I am really super excited. Will share photos when I'm back. =) I hate to take aeroplanes tho. ;p
Seee u!
I'm *zonked out*! ;o
They grabbed my heart big time. ;p
Yup, and so it has not always been good, there were also low periods. Shan't elaborate here. Its just been a little difficult cos of the transition. Most of it does not have to do with external influences, but more of my expectations about things, and adapting to a new environment. I'm learning learning...
I'm looking forward to next week because I will be going to Cambodia to visit the various projects and ministries there. I am really super excited. Will share photos when I'm back. =) I hate to take aeroplanes tho. ;p
Seee u!
I'm *zonked out*! ;o
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