The warmth in the heart

Got back from Indonesia on Monday night and had a warm welcome! :) Came home and slept and slept and slept until 11am. It was like every muscle was filled with fatique, and I cldn't get up! Had all the overwhelming feelings of tiredness and discouragement that I cried as I prayed. And am thankful for E.P. for listening to me on the phone and praying with me. I think discouragement is such a stealthy enemy that lurks in yr heart and manifests itself when you lest know it. Hence the importance to keep oneself strong in the mind, body and spirit.

I grew through the trip to Indonesia. It was once in a lifetime experience, and I was blessed by the people there.

My key takeaways:
1. It is not about our sacrifices but about God's faithfulness. I saw the faithfulness of God in individual lives, truly, it is only Him working in our lives that brings convictions and change.

Part of my prayer journal:
"Lord, I discover that such short term trips are not just about me feeling burden or pity. But truly, what really captures my heart during such trips is being able to see Your faithfulness and Your mercy and love so abundant. And seeing changed lives that have been impacted by You. You seem so much more real in these lives because of the manner in which they have really changed in terms of their values, lives, purposes- all so Godward."

2. God loves me as I am, and I do not need to keep striving to meet expectations of myself and others.

Felt very stretched and stressed before the trip, cos I felt I had to write a report with recommendations of what we shd do at Indonesia. And I was the only staff, plus the 4 other people going with me are 20-30 years older than me. The schedule of what we were going to do was not confirmed, and it was basically an exploratory trip. But thank God everything fell into place, and my companions were very gracious indeed.

Felt God assured me not to care so much about what people said, but He loved me- and I was His child.

3. Building relationships with people and being intentional in spending quality time with people is important. These are really great ministry opportunities.
Thankful for the guest house we stayed in, which had a living room with sofas. Visitors came to our place and chatted with us over tea, coffee and milo. And it was edifying taking time to share our lives and to hear their testimonies, and to pray for them. Thankful for Audrey who facilitated most of the sessions and was never in a rush to finish the chats- one of which ended at 11plus pm.

4. Relating to family and to older authority is not that difficult.
I think I experienced a mini breakthrough. Cos 3 of my companions were my parents age, and 1 other was in her 40s. At first I was worried about being the only young person there, of how they will view me, or how I shd react, or how I shd try and be more mature, and will I be lonely? Ofcos in my heart I missed having my peers to share with. But they were all kind, and in their kindness, I felt respected as an adult, and I was thankful for the healthy boundaries. It was kind of cosy, like a family.

Yup...and there are many more. Little thoughts here and there that warmed my heart.