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Sunday, April 16, 2006
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Faith, God, Pain & Me
Its been a tough week, busy week at work...the week went pass slowly yet very fast...these days time passes by rather slowly actually. And some periods of time are painful.
Read a good fren's blog this week and saw the title of his blog "embracing atheism". Since then I've not spoken to him and can't sms cos he lost his hp. If you are reading this...pls know that I care.
I guess this bothered me pretty much more than I would want to admit. It was painful reading that blog.
At the end of the day, every individual makes his decision to be a christian or not. That's because faith is a personal thing between us and God. No one can make the decision for u, nor force u into believing in Christ. It hurts because I think that this good fren is making a very emotional decision in embracing atheism.
Not a theology expert but speaking from experience. There are times in our lives where christians will doubt God's existence. Even as I go through the process of breakup and stopping ministry, there are times where I feel so alone. And in my tears I ask God, God are u really there or not? Why am I going through all these things and I don't sense u at all. If you are really there then why must I go through these sufferings? Do u care that I am in pain?
But to reject God. I will never. Cos deep within me....how I am intrinsically made, the emotions that I feel, cannot help but point me to the maker. That there is a higher being who created emotions of love and joy and peace.
When I consider the heavens....
When I look at the stars the sky the sea the mountains..I am in awe of nature. And the wonderful work of creation.
And I can't ever believe that these were created by a scientific big bang...
Or that humans naturally evolved from other beings..
Natures laws and natures wonders.
Not trying to persuade anyone here. And the above is not good apologetics. Just some of my deepest thoughts in trying to understand pain and my maker.
Our faith in God is a constant struggle against doubt/unbelief and fear. If u are human u face these emotions.
---
These days another things bothers me...
That many are lost and will remain lost.
And in the heart of the Father, His loving nature, smtimes I find it so hard to trust. How can all my frens come to know Him? I can't force them. I can share with them. And that gives me a burden...
How will God reconcille men to Him? In His sovereignity, I pray that He will show it to me.
---
I struggle between selfless love and love being selfish by nature.
By virtue of love, one desires to be with the person one loves. To hold, to care for and to be loved back.
Yet love..as the bible teaches us, is long suffering, patient, kind, does not envy, does not bear grudges.
In my moments of being alone, I can't help but recall memories of being loved, of loving, of being, of promises made, of kindness, of joy. And the heart yearns again to experience love.
But love in its greatest form...is Agape..
Unconditional love.
Read a good fren's blog this week and saw the title of his blog "embracing atheism". Since then I've not spoken to him and can't sms cos he lost his hp. If you are reading this...pls know that I care.
I guess this bothered me pretty much more than I would want to admit. It was painful reading that blog.
At the end of the day, every individual makes his decision to be a christian or not. That's because faith is a personal thing between us and God. No one can make the decision for u, nor force u into believing in Christ. It hurts because I think that this good fren is making a very emotional decision in embracing atheism.
Not a theology expert but speaking from experience. There are times in our lives where christians will doubt God's existence. Even as I go through the process of breakup and stopping ministry, there are times where I feel so alone. And in my tears I ask God, God are u really there or not? Why am I going through all these things and I don't sense u at all. If you are really there then why must I go through these sufferings? Do u care that I am in pain?
But to reject God. I will never. Cos deep within me....how I am intrinsically made, the emotions that I feel, cannot help but point me to the maker. That there is a higher being who created emotions of love and joy and peace.
When I consider the heavens....
When I look at the stars the sky the sea the mountains..I am in awe of nature. And the wonderful work of creation.
And I can't ever believe that these were created by a scientific big bang...
Or that humans naturally evolved from other beings..
Natures laws and natures wonders.
Not trying to persuade anyone here. And the above is not good apologetics. Just some of my deepest thoughts in trying to understand pain and my maker.
Our faith in God is a constant struggle against doubt/unbelief and fear. If u are human u face these emotions.
---
These days another things bothers me...
That many are lost and will remain lost.
And in the heart of the Father, His loving nature, smtimes I find it so hard to trust. How can all my frens come to know Him? I can't force them. I can share with them. And that gives me a burden...
How will God reconcille men to Him? In His sovereignity, I pray that He will show it to me.
---
I struggle between selfless love and love being selfish by nature.
By virtue of love, one desires to be with the person one loves. To hold, to care for and to be loved back.
Yet love..as the bible teaches us, is long suffering, patient, kind, does not envy, does not bear grudges.
In my moments of being alone, I can't help but recall memories of being loved, of loving, of being, of promises made, of kindness, of joy. And the heart yearns again to experience love.
But love in its greatest form...is Agape..
Unconditional love.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Easter
Hi all,
easter holiday this friday! yay! But more than the holiday, its to remember how Christ died for our sins and rose again. :)
My church is having a musical. You are invited to come!
Saturday 450 & 730pm
Sunday 10am & 130pm
See ya there!
easter holiday this friday! yay! But more than the holiday, its to remember how Christ died for our sins and rose again. :)
My church is having a musical. You are invited to come!
Saturday 450 & 730pm
Sunday 10am & 130pm
See ya there!
Monday, April 10, 2006
:)
Just a short post...
Enjoyed Pastor Tan's msg on Saturday.
And Sunday's sermon at Covenant was very very good. Really liked the message. Challenged my ideas of being committed vs surrender.
Commitment=telling God I want to do great things for Him
Surrender=acknowledge I can do nothing except IN Him
That wowed me quite a bit. At the end of the msg I told God I was so sorry, and I felt really touched.
As I read my old posts I realise I've been a very emotional christian. But from now on I'm not just going to base my faith on emotion=feeling good, feeling God's presence, crying etc. I will base my faith on both the Spirit and the Word of God. I think the Word of God is so so impt. Impt for it to be balanced and read in its context. :)
I don't know where my faith journey will lead me to, but meanwhile its a new stage for my christian walk.
Went out with sister on saturday night for dinner and walked ard a bit and talked. Glad that we have much to share abt and we encourage each other. Sunday after service I met Andrew. Heh, after few months. Glad for the catching up as well.
Yups..glad that I'm moving on.
On memories...the beautiful memories remain part of me. And these days I smile when I think of them. Love is letting go. And I appreciate that statement so much more now. I learn to love. Love is not possessing. He always has a place in my heart.
One day maybe..we will both find our happiness with another. We will get married with others. heh. One day maybe..we will arrive at the same point again in our journey and get back together.
Doesn't matter.
Yesterday during service, pastor asked is it time to STOP? And surrender. Surrender means ALL. And yes it is abt time I surrendered to God. All aspects of my life including relationships, work, church and ministry. I know all circumstances I go thru will only bring me closer to Him.
Enjoyed Pastor Tan's msg on Saturday.
And Sunday's sermon at Covenant was very very good. Really liked the message. Challenged my ideas of being committed vs surrender.
Commitment=telling God I want to do great things for Him
Surrender=acknowledge I can do nothing except IN Him
That wowed me quite a bit. At the end of the msg I told God I was so sorry, and I felt really touched.
As I read my old posts I realise I've been a very emotional christian. But from now on I'm not just going to base my faith on emotion=feeling good, feeling God's presence, crying etc. I will base my faith on both the Spirit and the Word of God. I think the Word of God is so so impt. Impt for it to be balanced and read in its context. :)
I don't know where my faith journey will lead me to, but meanwhile its a new stage for my christian walk.
Went out with sister on saturday night for dinner and walked ard a bit and talked. Glad that we have much to share abt and we encourage each other. Sunday after service I met Andrew. Heh, after few months. Glad for the catching up as well.
Yups..glad that I'm moving on.
On memories...the beautiful memories remain part of me. And these days I smile when I think of them. Love is letting go. And I appreciate that statement so much more now. I learn to love. Love is not possessing. He always has a place in my heart.
One day maybe..we will both find our happiness with another. We will get married with others. heh. One day maybe..we will arrive at the same point again in our journey and get back together.
Doesn't matter.
Yesterday during service, pastor asked is it time to STOP? And surrender. Surrender means ALL. And yes it is abt time I surrendered to God. All aspects of my life including relationships, work, church and ministry. I know all circumstances I go thru will only bring me closer to Him.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Growing up
I had a quarrel with my parents last night, seems like these days we have more disagreements with each other. As u guys know, I'm going on a Mission trip on 30th April, and its a bit weird that till now no one contacted me (except for the phone call abt a month back to confirm the trip) abt the details, itinery or any preparation work. My parents are concerned and worried for me as usual, and kept asking me not to go. Hmm..on my part, not having any news makes me a little worried as well as to whether I am really going or do I have to prepare anything. Yups..but its no point that she keeps nagging at me, or my dad shouting at me abt the church inefficiency or criticising the system or getting worried that I will get bird flu. These days these things gets on my nerves much more frequently. Cos I think I am tired of being in my comfort zone and being so worried abt things. And it gets me frustrated when one side of my leg seems to be tied down by my parents.
Pretty much understand my parents' concern. And I know part of their protectiveness is love for me. That I never deny. Cos I know it. But I think they need to understand too that part of love is letting go. And part of growing up, is allowing a person to experience and smtimes at the risk of failing, and not a strong hand holding, that can smtimes be suffocating. When I was younger, I think there were less conflicts cos I pretty much conformed to all that was spoken to me. But this gets on me when I am older, at the age of 23 going to 24, I can understand their concern for me, but I wished they understood my need for some space.
Well they say that Singaporeans are conformists, and the youths don't try new things, lack of leaders and all that. Its so difficult to be a non-conformist under this kinda environment. At times I wish to move out and just have some peace and quiet on my own. Once during a conflict, my dad said me and my sis may move out if we are so unhappy here. Its scary when u see yr parents ageing, and u start to earn yr own income, become self sufficient, and pretty soon the roles would reverse where u will be taking care of yr parents. See elderly folks out with their families...and smtimes its difficult to communicate with elderly folks, u see all the polite conversations but not in-depth ones. I LOVE my parents so much that all these makes me feel really hurt and frustrated. On one hand I will like to please them by obeying their whims and fancies, on the other I just want some freedom. I think we have to learn to manage and balance that. Wrote a letter to them 2 weeks back to share abt my views but think thats not so easy. Need both parties to have an understanding for each other.
The disagreeements stem from our basic beliefs- Why do humans exist on this earth? For me, I realise I am also somewhat idealistic. I think that I exist to fulfil God's purpose, and every moment of my life I want to use it to bless someone, do smthing that is meaningful. I feel sad and compassion when I see the poor, hurting and ple who are lost. How I wish I can pour out my life to serve them. How? When? I don't know. For my parents, humans exist to do the best they can with their lives, earn a decent income, have stability and have babies and form a family. They experienced much poverty in their youth and perhaps part of their youthful aspirations were getting stable jobs, family was important. And hence they can't understand us youths- having all we want, a comfortable life and yet we are complaining? Idealism vs practicalism. I think most ple stay on the practical side. I do too, though smthing inside me shouts, I want smthing more outta this.
Something strange though...that my best fren and other closer frens around me also seem to be more of the stable and practical kind. HY for example shared with me, she feels that God is equally pleased for a christian to do mission work vs a christian who has a family and teaches his kids well. I don't really agree with that cos I think God calls us to fulfill the Great Commission. Last week's sermon, Pastor from Covenant told us a story. He said this lady asked Mother Theresa how can she be a blessing to the world, what can she do? And Mother Theresa said, go back home, take care of yr husband and family. I was shocked. Haha...I dunno...how to reconcile all that within me? A person who works 9-5 and goes home to cook etc, earns big bucks..that doesn't fulfil or satisfy me. I don't think I will ever be happy like that. But I know ple who would be. Is this kinda feeling a calling that God has given me? A desire that God placed in our hearts? Or is it that most ple are just too involved with their own lives and problems to hear the same calling fr God?
Its smtimes so difficult being a christian. Esp one who seeks to follow God's word and want to serve Him the best. U really wanna serve Him? Then let ur faith be tested if it is true. The more u step out the more u will face challenges.
I used to think that being a testimony to Christ is not sharing difficulties, challenges or my discouragements. But now I think differently. As I begin to share my struggles, I think that all the more it demonstrates that while man is weak, God is strong. David and Job in their difficult times cried out to God,and even got angry at Him! But yet in the end they say that in spite of all, they will TRUST in Him. And thats my cry to Him. I don't understand why I must go thru this. I don't FEEL like I trust Him cos of my circumstances. But I told Him in prayer that I do trust that all these things work for my good. And I know that He will bring me thru. He is good. :)
Yesterday night I was so upset and I wanted to talk to J abt my parents..and whine. But I can't do that anymore. I think he challenges me cos of his non-conformist attitude. Though perhaps cos of my conformist roots, I can't say that vice-versus, I challenge him in being more radical for Christ. Other than him, the other person who is non-conformist is Andrew. Always planning new stuff to do. But then the diff is that A's motivation comes more fr helping ple than from christian roots or beliefs. Grateful for them who challenge my world view. Heh though smtimes I think I am getting crazier by the day. And these thoughts plague me. I don't know how to shake them off. Sometimes I am scared. Scared of the decisions that I have to make and the seemingly lonely road ahead.
I hope all these thinking ends soon. As in I may have peace with myself, peace with what I want to do, and a clear vision fr God. Meanwhile I know He is bringing me thru a very meaningful experience.
Instead of thinking so much, for me now I guess I will just do what I can to bless the ple around me. I don't want to philosophize until Jesus comes back. I think as I start doing things, opportunities will open. Just do something in faith! And I believe God's guiding hand will lead.
Pretty much understand my parents' concern. And I know part of their protectiveness is love for me. That I never deny. Cos I know it. But I think they need to understand too that part of love is letting go. And part of growing up, is allowing a person to experience and smtimes at the risk of failing, and not a strong hand holding, that can smtimes be suffocating. When I was younger, I think there were less conflicts cos I pretty much conformed to all that was spoken to me. But this gets on me when I am older, at the age of 23 going to 24, I can understand their concern for me, but I wished they understood my need for some space.
Well they say that Singaporeans are conformists, and the youths don't try new things, lack of leaders and all that. Its so difficult to be a non-conformist under this kinda environment. At times I wish to move out and just have some peace and quiet on my own. Once during a conflict, my dad said me and my sis may move out if we are so unhappy here. Its scary when u see yr parents ageing, and u start to earn yr own income, become self sufficient, and pretty soon the roles would reverse where u will be taking care of yr parents. See elderly folks out with their families...and smtimes its difficult to communicate with elderly folks, u see all the polite conversations but not in-depth ones. I LOVE my parents so much that all these makes me feel really hurt and frustrated. On one hand I will like to please them by obeying their whims and fancies, on the other I just want some freedom. I think we have to learn to manage and balance that. Wrote a letter to them 2 weeks back to share abt my views but think thats not so easy. Need both parties to have an understanding for each other.
The disagreeements stem from our basic beliefs- Why do humans exist on this earth? For me, I realise I am also somewhat idealistic. I think that I exist to fulfil God's purpose, and every moment of my life I want to use it to bless someone, do smthing that is meaningful. I feel sad and compassion when I see the poor, hurting and ple who are lost. How I wish I can pour out my life to serve them. How? When? I don't know. For my parents, humans exist to do the best they can with their lives, earn a decent income, have stability and have babies and form a family. They experienced much poverty in their youth and perhaps part of their youthful aspirations were getting stable jobs, family was important. And hence they can't understand us youths- having all we want, a comfortable life and yet we are complaining? Idealism vs practicalism. I think most ple stay on the practical side. I do too, though smthing inside me shouts, I want smthing more outta this.
Something strange though...that my best fren and other closer frens around me also seem to be more of the stable and practical kind. HY for example shared with me, she feels that God is equally pleased for a christian to do mission work vs a christian who has a family and teaches his kids well. I don't really agree with that cos I think God calls us to fulfill the Great Commission. Last week's sermon, Pastor from Covenant told us a story. He said this lady asked Mother Theresa how can she be a blessing to the world, what can she do? And Mother Theresa said, go back home, take care of yr husband and family. I was shocked. Haha...I dunno...how to reconcile all that within me? A person who works 9-5 and goes home to cook etc, earns big bucks..that doesn't fulfil or satisfy me. I don't think I will ever be happy like that. But I know ple who would be. Is this kinda feeling a calling that God has given me? A desire that God placed in our hearts? Or is it that most ple are just too involved with their own lives and problems to hear the same calling fr God?
Its smtimes so difficult being a christian. Esp one who seeks to follow God's word and want to serve Him the best. U really wanna serve Him? Then let ur faith be tested if it is true. The more u step out the more u will face challenges.
I used to think that being a testimony to Christ is not sharing difficulties, challenges or my discouragements. But now I think differently. As I begin to share my struggles, I think that all the more it demonstrates that while man is weak, God is strong. David and Job in their difficult times cried out to God,and even got angry at Him! But yet in the end they say that in spite of all, they will TRUST in Him. And thats my cry to Him. I don't understand why I must go thru this. I don't FEEL like I trust Him cos of my circumstances. But I told Him in prayer that I do trust that all these things work for my good. And I know that He will bring me thru. He is good. :)
Yesterday night I was so upset and I wanted to talk to J abt my parents..and whine. But I can't do that anymore. I think he challenges me cos of his non-conformist attitude. Though perhaps cos of my conformist roots, I can't say that vice-versus, I challenge him in being more radical for Christ. Other than him, the other person who is non-conformist is Andrew. Always planning new stuff to do. But then the diff is that A's motivation comes more fr helping ple than from christian roots or beliefs. Grateful for them who challenge my world view. Heh though smtimes I think I am getting crazier by the day. And these thoughts plague me. I don't know how to shake them off. Sometimes I am scared. Scared of the decisions that I have to make and the seemingly lonely road ahead.
I hope all these thinking ends soon. As in I may have peace with myself, peace with what I want to do, and a clear vision fr God. Meanwhile I know He is bringing me thru a very meaningful experience.
Instead of thinking so much, for me now I guess I will just do what I can to bless the ple around me. I don't want to philosophize until Jesus comes back. I think as I start doing things, opportunities will open. Just do something in faith! And I believe God's guiding hand will lead.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Loss
Time passes really slowly these days. This feeling of loss that I try to shake away.
Finished The Severe Mercy. Was quite a good book esp in its ending parts, when the protagonist was able to reconcile the loss of his wife (due to an illness). He described the initial stage as a time of grieve-where he kept thinking of her everyday and imagined her being with him. And then after some time he felt nothing, cos grieve left his heart, and what remained was an emptiness. The second stage he describes as a second death, which was somewhat more difficult than the first stage.
I guess the loss may not be death, but the departure of someone close. There's a fluctuation between grieve and nothingness. The feeling of nothingness is scary. Its as if one day, this part of u, the memories u shared with someone so close to u will just disappear and mean nothing to u. What then? When we move on...and nothing remains...even memories no longer impt. Yet part of moving on is the letting go of memories. And hence the very step of decision itself is difficult..to let go of the memory and to come to terms with reality.
Finished The Severe Mercy. Was quite a good book esp in its ending parts, when the protagonist was able to reconcile the loss of his wife (due to an illness). He described the initial stage as a time of grieve-where he kept thinking of her everyday and imagined her being with him. And then after some time he felt nothing, cos grieve left his heart, and what remained was an emptiness. The second stage he describes as a second death, which was somewhat more difficult than the first stage.
I guess the loss may not be death, but the departure of someone close. There's a fluctuation between grieve and nothingness. The feeling of nothingness is scary. Its as if one day, this part of u, the memories u shared with someone so close to u will just disappear and mean nothing to u. What then? When we move on...and nothing remains...even memories no longer impt. Yet part of moving on is the letting go of memories. And hence the very step of decision itself is difficult..to let go of the memory and to come to terms with reality.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Decision making
Went to High Point to meet Pastor Don on Saturday. It was quite a good visit though there was some miscomm and I waited for 1 hr at the restaurant while he was waiting for me to call him. Glad that we had a good talk and all that. Not just abt aspects he needed help in for High Point, but also abt church and all that. :) Gonna do some voluntary work for him for fund raising and some of his SE businesses. Feel rather excited about all that tho not sure how it would work out, whether I have the time and then there are other things I was hoping to do like the YEP and the counseling course. But I guess I figured out that if I were to sit on all my decisions I will probably never ever do anything with my life. So I shd just start with this first and concurrently pray for other opportunities.
In the midst of planning all these, how I wished I were a student all over again. Cos of the modular system in biz, I get to choose watever time slot I want. I can then spend the rest of my time helping Pastor Don and the other parts of my time planning YEP and then going for counseling course. Hmm..or if I owned my own business or I were working part time, my time would be freed up to do all these. Har..but the plus pt of being a student is that one need not provide for the family and is not expected to bring home any income.
Then again I must be mindful not to fill up ALL my time slots with many activities. Merely a replacing of the gap within me with activities is not good. And I am reminded that I need lotsa time with God. Never again to crowd out listening and waiting on God with activities.
I visited Covenant Evangelical Free Church on Sunday for their 12pm service. I must say it was refreshing and I enjoyed the service a lot. The moment I stepped into the church I saw my VCF frens. Met Celia, Gabriel, Stephen...Leaders whom I respected a lot in VCF. The sermon was on Colossians..they are currently doing a series on Colossians. It strangely reminds me of R.T. Kendall cos of the way line by line was covered and by book rather than thematic. I remembered like 3 years ago when I first went for VCF camp, Fellowship teachings etc, I didn't appreciate this manner of teaching very much. Back then I felt it was not spirit filled enough or exciting enough and many of the bible verses were just explained as they were, not like Pastor Kong's revelations that diff objects/people represented different things in the spiritual realm. Yet yesterday I appreciated it a lot, the down-to-earth interpretation, line by line, and the msg abt being IN Christ was good.
Had lunch with Willie's cell, and then Celia came over and it was good chatting all over again. Opened up to her abt many of my struggles and it was nice being cared for and being ministered to. :) Yup..then met up another fren later and we chatted and walked around a bit.
Something not very nice happened to someone I love. It's really difficult to care for someone from afar. U wanna call and sms but then u don't cos it is more unloving to do that and will make him feel worst. So I am still praying and trusting God for him, I think Papa knows best. :) God be merciful! And be with us in the midst of our valleys.
In the midst of planning all these, how I wished I were a student all over again. Cos of the modular system in biz, I get to choose watever time slot I want. I can then spend the rest of my time helping Pastor Don and the other parts of my time planning YEP and then going for counseling course. Hmm..or if I owned my own business or I were working part time, my time would be freed up to do all these. Har..but the plus pt of being a student is that one need not provide for the family and is not expected to bring home any income.
Then again I must be mindful not to fill up ALL my time slots with many activities. Merely a replacing of the gap within me with activities is not good. And I am reminded that I need lotsa time with God. Never again to crowd out listening and waiting on God with activities.
I visited Covenant Evangelical Free Church on Sunday for their 12pm service. I must say it was refreshing and I enjoyed the service a lot. The moment I stepped into the church I saw my VCF frens. Met Celia, Gabriel, Stephen...Leaders whom I respected a lot in VCF. The sermon was on Colossians..they are currently doing a series on Colossians. It strangely reminds me of R.T. Kendall cos of the way line by line was covered and by book rather than thematic. I remembered like 3 years ago when I first went for VCF camp, Fellowship teachings etc, I didn't appreciate this manner of teaching very much. Back then I felt it was not spirit filled enough or exciting enough and many of the bible verses were just explained as they were, not like Pastor Kong's revelations that diff objects/people represented different things in the spiritual realm. Yet yesterday I appreciated it a lot, the down-to-earth interpretation, line by line, and the msg abt being IN Christ was good.
Had lunch with Willie's cell, and then Celia came over and it was good chatting all over again. Opened up to her abt many of my struggles and it was nice being cared for and being ministered to. :) Yup..then met up another fren later and we chatted and walked around a bit.
Something not very nice happened to someone I love. It's really difficult to care for someone from afar. U wanna call and sms but then u don't cos it is more unloving to do that and will make him feel worst. So I am still praying and trusting God for him, I think Papa knows best. :) God be merciful! And be with us in the midst of our valleys.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
The Shining Star
Been watching the 9pm Drama this days titled The Shining Star (Xin Shan Shan). I really enjoy the show a lot as I feel that it is very encouraging and positive. In this show, the female protagonist is a blind girl (Ah Li), who is courageous and kind. There's also a social worker in the show, and some wayward youths. :D
Problems in life are inevitable. But instead of focusing on them, and our "disability", we should channel our energy to help others or to find our passions. Focusing on our disability, disables us. It emphasizes our disability. We wallow in self pity and never pick ourselves up.
Why wait for situations to improve before we can truly say we are happy? Humans by nature are disatisfied.
"If I can only have that, I will be happy."
I realise how untrue this statement is. So what...if u have everything? Experience shows that u will want some more..something else will be insufficient enough to make u disatisfied.
We cannot wait for perfect situations before we are happy. The gaping insatiable hole cannot be dependent on circumstances. But we choose to be happy.
And we choose God. His rivers of living water. As He said to the samaritan woman...If you drink my water, u will NEVER thirst again. This true joy...this water that fills our souls. And it stays forever.
Been listening to this song...been crying quite a bit. But this song encourages me a lot.
Every new day
Your glory unfolds
Filling my eyes
With Your treasures untold
The beauty of holiness
Brings worship anew
My greatest love is You
Call me deeper
Into Your grace
The river that flows
From the Holy Place
Wash over me
Cleansing me through
My greatest love is You
If we truly mean it, that our greatest love is Him, then what is too difficult? What ails u today?
Problems in life are inevitable. But instead of focusing on them, and our "disability", we should channel our energy to help others or to find our passions. Focusing on our disability, disables us. It emphasizes our disability. We wallow in self pity and never pick ourselves up.
Why wait for situations to improve before we can truly say we are happy? Humans by nature are disatisfied.
"If I can only have that, I will be happy."
I realise how untrue this statement is. So what...if u have everything? Experience shows that u will want some more..something else will be insufficient enough to make u disatisfied.
We cannot wait for perfect situations before we are happy. The gaping insatiable hole cannot be dependent on circumstances. But we choose to be happy.
And we choose God. His rivers of living water. As He said to the samaritan woman...If you drink my water, u will NEVER thirst again. This true joy...this water that fills our souls. And it stays forever.
Been listening to this song...been crying quite a bit. But this song encourages me a lot.
Every new day
Your glory unfolds
Filling my eyes
With Your treasures untold
The beauty of holiness
Brings worship anew
My greatest love is You
Call me deeper
Into Your grace
The river that flows
From the Holy Place
Wash over me
Cleansing me through
My greatest love is You
If we truly mean it, that our greatest love is Him, then what is too difficult? What ails u today?
Monday, March 27, 2006
Dedicated to my dearest brother...
This is for my bro, and for ple who are feeling down:
I know u feel down and out.
In life, there are many circumstances that we are not in control of. We can't choose our family, how we look, where we are born. But we can choose our attitude toward those circumstances.
We can choose to wallow in self-pity.
But how long are we gonna stay defeated in our circumstances?
We can choose to be happy.
The most cowardly thing one can choose to do is to AVOID. Thats why ple take up smoking, drinking, drugs. To avoid pain. Cos we fear.
The most courageous thing one can do is to choose to face the pain head on.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but going on inspite of fear.
I may never know how u feel. I know u are in pain. Everyone of us bears pain. There's not one pain that is too great we cannot take.
U be sure that when u are going thru pain, God is with u all the way.
If u continue like that u will only kill yrself and hurt the ple who love u.
Be brave . And stop doing things that will hurt yourself.
Luv ya lots,
Your sis.
I know u feel down and out.
In life, there are many circumstances that we are not in control of. We can't choose our family, how we look, where we are born. But we can choose our attitude toward those circumstances.
We can choose to wallow in self-pity.
But how long are we gonna stay defeated in our circumstances?
We can choose to be happy.
The most cowardly thing one can choose to do is to AVOID. Thats why ple take up smoking, drinking, drugs. To avoid pain. Cos we fear.
The most courageous thing one can do is to choose to face the pain head on.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but going on inspite of fear.
I may never know how u feel. I know u are in pain. Everyone of us bears pain. There's not one pain that is too great we cannot take.
U be sure that when u are going thru pain, God is with u all the way.
If u continue like that u will only kill yrself and hurt the ple who love u.
Be brave . And stop doing things that will hurt yourself.
Luv ya lots,
Your sis.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Single Sunday
Went for a body massage today, one of the free vouchers I got from Citibank's credit card. The last one was a facial. Anyway it was quite relaxing and the lady kept chatting with me. She's from Johor and she has a daughter-in-law my age, who is working as a restaurant captain in Singapore. And then the son also has a Citibank credit card, and he kinda asks his mum for interest every year to pay the credit card company. Which was weird as I told the mum that if they paid on time they actually don't have to pay anything at the year end. :P Asked her abt whether there were many chinese in Johor and why she doesn't work in Johor etc.
Then went to have lunch with Jasmine at Plaza Sing. Plaza Sing is a place full of memories for me. I love that place a lot. Anyway it was good..hope that I encouraged her a little bit. :)
My second Sunday being a single. I guessed the finality of it all hit me today. We broke up last saturday. Anyway I know "you" don't like to be mentioned in my blog. But I must still say that it has been great being with you. It was the passion and compassion he had for people that drew me to him. But the same 2 things that broke us apart. I wish him happiness. :)
I will and must be strong...And I have faith in God to bring me thru this time. Thanks for the many prayers from my dear frens. :)
Yup..I think I've been looking pretty normal and all that for the past one week. As u all know, I don't like to share my emotions or problems. I find much healing in being by myself, being with God, listening to music and reading. I know it will take me some time to heal but I've been through tough periods in my life. So if any of u reading this are worried for me, can I ask for yr kind prayers? For me, and for him? :)
Thanks :)
Then went to have lunch with Jasmine at Plaza Sing. Plaza Sing is a place full of memories for me. I love that place a lot. Anyway it was good..hope that I encouraged her a little bit. :)
My second Sunday being a single. I guessed the finality of it all hit me today. We broke up last saturday. Anyway I know "you" don't like to be mentioned in my blog. But I must still say that it has been great being with you. It was the passion and compassion he had for people that drew me to him. But the same 2 things that broke us apart. I wish him happiness. :)
I will and must be strong...And I have faith in God to bring me thru this time. Thanks for the many prayers from my dear frens. :)
Yup..I think I've been looking pretty normal and all that for the past one week. As u all know, I don't like to share my emotions or problems. I find much healing in being by myself, being with God, listening to music and reading. I know it will take me some time to heal but I've been through tough periods in my life. So if any of u reading this are worried for me, can I ask for yr kind prayers? For me, and for him? :)
Thanks :)
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