Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Treasure every breathe

Just came back from counseling psych class. Yup, have been bz. And today had our first YEP team meeting! 6 of us met and I shared with them the backgrd for the proj, building hses and all. And it was really good, all ple with good hearts, and the chemistry was there even in our first meeting. So I'm really glad and happy. We are thinking of organizing a charity concert, getting some directors to sing.
In a way, I am grateful for this stint in the corporate world, just being here, and God opening up opportunities for me to bring some sort of change in the company. Hopefully. Yes..and prayerfully. And also seeing the christian fellowship in the company being filled to the brim with ple-some seekers who want to know God. And we are currently doing a series on intro to christianity!
Though inside me there is a dilemma. Yup, I am being paid in the company to do performance analyst, I'm not employed as a full time recreation club member. Yet I spend so much of my time in the office emailing the team, doing proposals, emailing director and all. And I've to be honest that these are the things that fuel me and keep me going. Boss has not given me a lot of responsibilities cos I think I am afterall the most inexperienced one there. Perhaps I could hunger for more, volunteer to do more stuffs wrt my job. But this tension within me...that knows I won't be happy being burdened with this kinda work. I mean, I could just work whole day and whole night if we are talking abt counseling someone, or doing up a volunteer program. And yeah, it is clear enough from all these that my inclination is definitely not in the corporate sector. Though, as I've said above, I am so grateful for the opportunity to be immersed in this environment, and for God to open doors.

A fren chided me, when I said that I wish I could do more things, be helping ple, impacting lives, instead of sitting in the office. He said I am just wasting my time then! When God placed me in this environment to be salt and light, and for a purpose, I shdn't be wanting to be elsewhere. I half agree with him, and half I don't. I do believe that I've a purpose here, and that I pray everyday that I may be a good testimony for Him in the work place. And also, to work for my boss as unto God, and not unto men. To give the best that I know how. Yet I know that it is not wrong, and even good, to have a disatisfaction with this kind of life. It is a deep disatisfaction to want to do something more, to one day have the courage to live out a life that God truly wants us to live, and hungering..and thirsting..to see more souls getting saved, to be used mightily by Him. This deep disatisfaction, I pray, in a way, that it will always be in me. That I will never think I have arrived somewhere, and I will never lose this heart of compassion for people.

Heard recently that a fren has a sickness that the doc is unsure of what it really is. And yes, it can cost his life. He says, every breathe, is a gift from God. And yup, I was so encouraged by his faith. And so reminded, everyday we live, it is God's precious gift to us, and we treasure our lives, and we desire to pour out our lives for Him even. And also these days the story of the rich man who wanted to hoard up his wealth and plan this and that for his life keeps coming up in my mind. Cos Jesus said to him, you foolish man, that this day your yr soul will be required of you! Meaning- man- u don't have forever to live. Yup..that means also living each day, committing my worries/cares/burdens to God. Just trusting Him.

I hope what I say here makes sense...life is so fragile, it may end any time. So how are u spending your time?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi dear! I understand what you mean. How sometimes we long to do something else...and wonder if we are really letting time slip by us...Well, sometimes I do extrapolate my current life into the future, and I feel sad to think that its not a glorious life for Him. In that, I just thought I can begin with something small each day...by being committed to be a blessing to others. So it can be an email to a discouraged fren, a treat to my loved ones, kindness to people around me etc. With this growing ambition...I am nearer my life purpose with each day. =) You are getting there too, press on! =)

Anonymous said...

Hi again! Hee..
I read an article from bible.org and I thought this extract is inspirational on our responsiblity towards the poor. Further to your earlier topic on community of Christians - and something we discussed before. Something good to keep in us! =)

Extract by Bob Deffinbaugh -
We have a wide range of responsibilities to the poor because there are a wide variety of reasons for poverty. To those who are willfully poor, that is, those who will not work, we have no obligation but to rebuke them. We must allow their hunger to prod them into activity. For those who are temporarily without funds, we should loan them money with the expectation of being paid back, but not with interest. Others who are completely helpless should be given what they need with no thought of repayment. And for some of those in Old Testament times, the faithful Israelites were not only to buy their goods, but purchase them as a servant (Leviticus 25:39ff.)
Two primary goals should be fixed in our mind regarding charity that really benefits the recipient: First, it should seek to preserve the dignity of the needy; and second, it should promote the diligence of the needy. In Old Testament times the able-bodied who were in need were provided for by leaving sufficient food for them to glean:
Now when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field, neither shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest (Leviticus 19:9; cf. 23:22).
Thus we find Ruth gleaning in the field of Boaz (Ruth 2:2ff.). In our time, we are sometimes encouraged to harvest the grain for the poor, thresh and grind it, bake it and deliver it hot and buttered. The dignity of the destitute demands that they be allowed to work for what they get if at all possible. Love must be exercised in “real knowledge and discernment” (Philippians 1:9). Sentimentality may make us feel good at the expense of the poor. Wisdom seeks to help the poor in such a way as to maintain their personal dignity and encourage continued diligence on their part to be released from their economic dependence on others. Those widows in the New Testament who were totally cared for by the church were a very small and select group, while the rest were cared for short term or by their families (I Timothy 5:3-16). Deadbeats deserve only discipline (II Thessalonians 3).

Lois said...

hello ah yun!
Thanks for yr comments..;) Its quite interesting to see it from this perspective..may have to take some time for me to think about it! ;) Always just thought of giving to poor as giving per se. But anyway, it kinda reminds me of the social enterprise/entrepreneurship model, where u teach how to fish rather than giving fish. Its a sustainability issue. Never thought of it as a dignity issue. Yes...i tink it is impt for poor to be dignified and be able to stand up on their own feet. U know Habitat for Humanity, they also lend without interest, but ple have to pay back for the houses..same as micro financing!! =>
Yah..lets become better ple for Him..and continuously challenge each other to live the right lifestyles! ;)I think at least beginning with the perspective..we work towards something.