This is my third day of MC, and its the first time in three years that I'm actually down for more than 3 days. Went to work this morning, and saw the doc later, still had a slight fever, giddiness and cough. so she gave me a day's of MC. :)
Fever has been going on and off, hopefully tmr it will be okay. And that I will be able to sleep well, cos I find it quite difficult to sleep these days even though I'm tired. So its like the effects of the panadol makes me tired, but I can't sleep!
I've been feeling "emo" for the past few days over little things. Thank God for His grace.
I wanted to share about my "high" life last week. Had 3 meals at hotel restaurants. The first one was at a certain hotel is Orchard, cos my fren worked there and we got 50% off, so we sat next to the swimming pool, and had lobster and martini (I did) and Singapore Swing (my fren did). It was a nice cosy atmosphere and we looked at the sky and everything. On Friday, went with my colleagues to Prego cos it was someone's bday, and someone had the discount card. Hmm...not really worth its money, I thought the pasta was so-so. And on Saturday, we went to the The Square at Novotel, my cousins gave our family a treat cos they also had some discount. It was a whole spread of japanese, itallian, western food, and it was really yummy. Per pax would have cost like 45++.
So that's about it for my high life. :P I could be happy living a low life as well, but I am thankful for the food and the company.
Today when I got back to office, I realise a couple of my colleagues had promotions! I was happy for them ofcos, but cos we are peers, I couldn't stop myself from thinking what it would have been if I had stayed. Hmm. More high life and promotions and salary? Many thoughts ran through my mind, and because I was so "emo" and sick, I actually felt very whiney. But I know if I chose again I would still have chosen to quit. So yah, I am at peace with my decision, its just so hard to say goodbye to lovely things. :P But yes, it helps tremendously to look onwards to the future.
Future has somehow on and off been linked to third world and him. I'm trying to re-orientate myself with third world (fullstop). SY says I should put a black box beside third world, aka third world and blackbox. So I don't have to do it alone. :P I'm scared about being alone, seriously. And also I'm not 100% sure about third world. So I am in suspense, and I feel a bit frightened sometimes. But yet I also remind myself of all His promises, and how He has already brought me so far. He will continue to bring me. There's a insatiable longing to be known and to know, only God can satisfy that fully. I know I know. Yet having a community also helps, and I am incredibly thankful of all my frens.
At this age whereby I am supposed to be caring for my aged parents, when I was sick, I saw things going on at home. How dad dealed with the contractors, woke up early, supervised them etc. How mum cooked for us, did the cleaning up etc. I feel somewhat embarrassed at my lack of contribution. And how so often I gribed about my parents not caring about me. Dad also went to see the doc and needs to go for checkup again. :( So I asked him how he was and all that. Strangely, the way I communicated with him sounded like the way he communicated with me. The words were few, but yet underlyingly how much I cared for them, and am thankful for them.
Okay, thats about all, writing has been therapeutic. And I hope that the funny weather will stop soon. :) Anyway, God is faithful, regardless.
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