My Holiday...

Hi one and all,

I am back from my retreat! It was a really good break for me and I feel refreshed now! On the first day we had a cruise and it was on a speed boat (hmm, not exactly a boat but a small ship that can sit the 16 of us just nicely?). And the boat was moving quite fast over the vast blue seas!! It went from one island to another and some trips spanning for 1 hour. Sitting outside the deck and leaning against the railing was wonderful, and some of us screamed our hearts out into the sea. Heh, no points for guessing who suggested screaming. I feel such a relief after screaming!! And my manager and director joined us too. WY (affectionately known as "hug hug" cos she is always so warm) sang songs with me...and the both of us basically went mad!! And then we had lunch on a floating kelong, the fish and prawns were fresh! After that we did snorkeling. It was my first time doing it, but all along I had always wanted to do it. Saw the coral reefs and a FEW fishes cos I din dare to swim too far..hung on to the rope and went only few mtrs away from it. But it was an experience I would never forget! Heh...it was scary at first cos I dun really swim, so even tho the life vests kept us afloat, it was strange not being able to touch the ground and even scary. I guess that reflects everyday life and my desire for some sort of stability to be able to stand on my two feet. Yet getting "lost" in the waters was nice after some time as I got used to that feeling and was secure that I will not fall inside cos the life vest kept me afloat. Somewhat metophorical of how God will keep me safe even when I feel I can't touch the ground or see what is ahead of me. I think this is my new philosophy in life, to make decisions in a way that I will not regret in the future and perhaps increase my level of risk taking. =)

Had good food like bbq seafood and all that, all paid for..but shan't really elaborate on that. Guess I was happy cos of the good company of Jie meis and running about "hahaing" with them..being able to be myself and not so-called trapped in the office. We did personality tests, individual and team profiles and I must say I was really quite blessed by the profiles that they gave me. I realise why I wasn't so happy in my job with regards to certain aspects. My team's profile is traditional, serious, reserved, shy and like to stick to status quo. My profile deviates from the majority, I am serious too but I am open to change, warm, and socially bold (ahem, according to my test that is). Realise there is a diff between shyness and introvertedness. I am in the middle of introvertedness and extrovertedness but I am not shy- I am socially bold. Being introverted means enjoying being by oneself? While shy means u dun like attention on yrself. I think I rather enjoy spending time with myself, but I guess I do like certain attention on myself. Yups..anyway my boss had quite a high score for being serious and traditional. I realise I like changes, I don't like to stick to the same things. Its really weird how my colleagues see me, and some made remarks like since when am I NOT extroverted, or stuffs about how noisy I am, and this colleague said they cannot imagine me being by myself or keeping quiet. Hmmm..which is really strange with a different crowd of ple cos I can be very quiet..I'm sure u all know that.
Anyway its good lar....helps me to understand myself better and hopefully my colleagues too. I had another extremely high score in being rule conscious (aka set aside personal wishes to fulfil obligations) and perfectionistic, and some colleagues were shocked. They said, I thought u are the least rule conscious! Diaoz.. well to me, many of my social and religious convictions are unshakeable but perhaps the director who shared with me was right- that I take a dispassionate view towards work, hence my rule consciousness doesn't really come out in the wk place cos my convictions exist more in religious and social beliefs.
There's where the tension comes cos I am open to change (he said I liked to give ple chance and have an open mind) and yet I am rule conscious. Ha....high tension level!

Anyway I duno who is reading this, pls tell me if u think the above description of me is true. =)

Had a good break, yups, tmr is monday again and back to work. Had a good time reflecting abt life and my future too, standing on the boat. Praying and singing to God and reading the bible. Writing prayers in a little paper in the hotel. =) God is good, always. Prayed for Jon. Prayed for me. Yeah, I really like thailand and the ple are so warm and frenly and polite. Thought abt poverty and missions. Hmm..how to reach the world? How to reach my colleagues? They are open to me, but how and when...and how? Pray for future.. And hoping that the future includes him, and his would include mine.