Vision

Just came back from service today, it was a very good message. It was simple, and yet profound, and the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart a rhema word! => A reminder of my vision in Him. It was very very very wonderful, and also very reassuring. And also it was powerful.

In the morning we had bible study with Pstor. And she talked abt repentance from dead works. I have given a similar bible study b4 on this topic. And yet when she gave, it was whooo! New revelations, and a very distinct prompting in my heart from the Holy Spirit. To repent of the worldly stuffs, and ungodly relationships that were holding me back.

I am very thankful that God is a God of second chances. As I examine my own life, on the inside there are so many things that are messed up. But yet He never gave up on me, and saw me beyond my current situation. He always believed in me! And amazingly, everytime we are about to fall, He will never fail to tug us back gently on the right path. Sometimes not too gently.. who says that the chastening of the Lord is easy to go thru? But nevertheless the temporal pain is only for something greater..and will only bring u closer to ur destiny.

And that is smthing that I see in ple ard me. WE all struggle as human beings with our flesh and our desires. God just knows how to deal with us individually, and He knows specifically the stuffs that hold us back. And I know that because of His amazing grace, that I am also able to believe in ple around me. That one day and someday..He will bring them closer to Him. And that He will work within their lives. Meanwhile, love covers a multitude of sin. Having love for ple..being gracious. Believing together with them. =)
To those who r struggling, hang on there!! God is ever present there for u.

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Lastly..eheh
guess wat! I got myself a zen micro 5G. Its to reward myself for my hard work..eheh..been working so hard, I deserve a present for myself rite? yeah...so in the office I can listen to my fave tracks! Really happy.

Loved

Heh..
today is (pretty soon was) my birthday! Yay!! For those of u who missed it, go conk ur head now..

Had a good day, celebrations began last friday! Cg got me a bracelet and a huge card. And yesterday, Mum bought me a GUESS watch with crystals on it..white colour and big faced. => heh..VERY pretty indeed...

Today my colleagues celebrated for me. When I came in, i saw a packet sitting next to my PC. haha..ofcos they saboed me. On it wrote from Max and JEremy..two of the schlars...and to think i even emailed them to thank them..and then to realised that it was my dept colleagues who gave me the prezzie. URRGggh so paiseh. But anyway it was a very nice sports top for my use in the gym!

And then I had lunch with them..they treated me to western food..yummmmyyy....and then we had a little cake abt 5ish...so SWEET of them. Feel so loved...how..

Had several smses today fr long lost frens, who remembered me. So touched..from sec sch to jc...

And I had dinner with HY!! =) We had Japanese Buffet.
FInally..not complete without a bday song. Mum got me a choco cake..heh..and we sang a song for ME!! And I blew the candles.
I wished for....
God to bless my family and frens.

Thank u all for ur love. =>

Me and my frens

I was looking thru some blogs tonite. A real luxury at nite to be slacking. => Listening to music and relaxing.

A fren (X ) was giving me advice on another fren (Y). This fren is seemingly a very rational person. To my surprise, X enlightned me that humans are NEVER rational. They are emotional. Sometimes ple come to u with a set logic/thinking and u dun appeal to them by rationalizing with them. U empathise with them.

I think that I am also seemingly a very rational person on the outside. But on the inside I am very fragile, and emotional. Those who know me better will know. Nothing beats having a empathetic ear, a warm hug, and a pat on the shoulder from someone to tell me I am doing well, I am appreciated and loved.

And tho I act nonchalent at the episodes that are taking place in ple's lives, they actually affect me more than watever I demonstrate. I hate it when ple have conflicts in front of me-e.g. arguments, disagreements. And tho I can see fr both pts of views, neither can see each other's views. SMtimes I just wash my hands off them. And I kinda like give that kinda do wat u wan i dun care kinda face or attitude..
Its only when the Holy Spirit softens my heart that I realise it hurts much more than I would say.
And tat is why i understand it when some ple..act like they simply bo chap, but they're hurting on the inside. And until they realise that they are pretending not to care, they cannot get healing.

I've become stronger experiencing many things these days. Sometimes lookg at the mirror, I dun even know who is the one inside. HAA...am I really the one? Scarily, I also see shadows of myself in other ple. As I was reading some of my cg mbrs blogs, I'm like, whoa manz, wasn't tat me...abt 2 years back or smthing, having the same kinda revelation. And also @ that time when God showed me He loved me so unconditionally. When u are pushing against walls...and growing muscles.

I believe someone else has gone b4 me. I WILL break through this. Life is full of decisions and crossroads. I only pray that watever I choose, I move closer towards God's given purpose. Watever He plans for me is GOOD.

SE Forum 2005

Heiz

SE Forum 2005 has successfully ended! =)
The registration was a mess at the start, but eventually everything went smoothly. Thank God for that...
Yay! End of my days of sleeping at 1am doing SE work!! =P No more endless meetings on saturday. No more discretely replying SE emails and making phone calls in company.
Most of all, I pursued my dream. People may call me crazy for taking 2 days off from work, and spending the last 10 months doing this forum, but I'm HAPPY! What a great joy to be able to see people coming together for the forum, and hopefully getting their minds to think beyond their normal daily lives, and to know that there are equally passionate people around.

We went to Goshen Restaurant after our forum, which is opened and runned by ex-inmates and drug addicts. The food was superb! Yummy! Chilli crab and prawns, and beancurd.

These pics consists of the bulk of our team-about 20 people.

We got off to a shakey start. Remember that the person who was supposed to head it decided to quit. Nobody could lead while Andrew went to Germany. And I told Andrew that I will help him lead while he was at Germany. We would co-lead. However, things went downhill as the committee was made up of a group of individuals who were great ple, and yet busy with our own commitments. And it was so difficult to drive the whole thing. It was also hard to communicate with Andrew while he was away in Germany. ANd also...to balance it up with my other commitments. I think Eu would recall the times that I spent whining to her.

We couldn't get any sponsors...and time was ticking pass..This feeling of helplessness, being trapped in a role I was not adequate to fulfill got on me day and nite. When A came back,he implemented many changes and also recruited his frens to join us. And so..yeah in the end everything turned out fine, and its a great ending to this story!

Thank You God for seeing me through, and it has made me stronger indeed. => Thank you so so much.

This was taken at Andrew's hse with the foreign speakers. Anil (Nepal), Sinee(Thailand) and Pamela (Switzerland)

They are extremely kind ple. We went to the Asian Civilisation Museum on Sunday, and then we went to A's hse, and his mum cooked for us. It was a very heavy dinner cos we were taking abt politics, charity, entrepreneurs...
Sinee bought me cookies from Thailand! So sweet of her. And I kept hugging them as we parted. So sad to leave them.

Sunday we had a GREAT service.
God: Would you love me unconditionally, and worship me even if....

XJ: Yes God, I would.

Tears kept flowing, and I finally learn wat is the sacrifice of praise. It is worshipping, praising, and loving unconditionally. The Holy SPirit showed me the "ifs"..things that I've been praying for, that have not come to past. These things have been getting me really down. But as I said Yes to God, I felt the reassuring presence of the Holy Spirit, His gentleness and His love.. His loving touch that no human can replace.

Finally a rest and a break for me. Tmr I'm back to work!! Early in the morning. The continual of another marathon, another day, another story.

I will like to say that, it is better always to try something and fail it, then never try anything at all.

Anil gave this analogy: The difference between a big candle and a light bulb. U can improve on a candle and make it last longer, but the light bulb is a whole new thing. A social entrepreneur is someone like that. He invents and recreates. Not improves on smthing... If u wanna wait for the perfect timing, never. Just do it.

hieyz

Heys...
Just came back from east coast beach...and had a very mama drama time today. Super tired, with sun burn, but I enjoyed the cycling. =>
Dropped my hp while teaching someone cycling, and then called the person using EY's hp..and then an uncle picked the call. He was about 4 bustops away from us, at the marine parade police post, and I cycled there, while EY jogged with me. Along the way, EY and I got separated, and so I went ahead....had to push the bike thru the underpass, and after coming out of ECP, cycled on the bumpy pavements, avoiding cars and pedestrians. Was a little scary la...but also a little fun going pass the lamp posts and squeezing thru pavements.

Thank God that EY got there ahead and took my hp for me!

Super tired, got a bad sunburn.

Glad we had BBQ, and fellowshipped today.

I watched The Island on sat, and it was interesting show....abt clonning..futuristic film, but nevetheless very realistic. ENjoyed it tremendously, plus the company was good. Went for a drink after that..and just chilled out, listening to the live band. =>

Friday and Sunday nites went for FOP=festival of praise. Had a good time worshipping and praising God, and jumping and dancing. It was very very good, very joyful, and I loved the last nite's message by Rev Colin Dye. He talked abt having authority in Christ. How true. I never saw my fave character Moses in that light. I like Exodus very very much. One of my fave books in the bible.

Yups...
has been very fruitful, and this sat is my SE forum!! Yeah.Things have been going on smoothly. And Andrew has been fighting lotsa arrows in the forefront. =) The committee is also freed up now to help out. SO thats really good la...
However also pretty busy...
Guess I can't give my all to it for now cos of work and church commitments. Feel very stretched, being pulled on all sides.
Dad fell ill yesterday nite, and I wasn't there for him. Got home at 1230am...after sitting at esplanade talking to Qifen who was just back from London..she's been staying there for 7 years. Not met her for 5 years at least. And she has very interesting ideas abt freedom of speech and civilisation. So was really good..
yah back to the topic, reached home late..and my dad was sitting out on the sofa at 1plus am..thot he was just tinking abt life, or praying. I din even bother asking! To my horror this morning, heard he went hospital for a checkup cos he had chest and back pain. And doc said he got a virus attack. How? :(
This morning still went to ECP with cg, and mum said...you and ur sis, only care abt urself! Ofcos in the end she was nice and everything, cooked porridge for me, and then yups...really nice. And I hope that after sat's forum, i can spend more time with them.

Yah..and supposedly have a "hard deadline" for my work on the 12th. HEh..but 12th I am taking off for forum.
Just not being very focused here. In the midst of all these thank God always for being there. REally really..when we are weak He is STRONG, and those moments listening to worship cds, seeking Him, His presence, are really times that rejuvenate me.
I need a quiet heart to hear. And perhaps I need to dispose of some of the baggages and non-essentials in my life, and find the thing that matters most. And that is my calling to know God..calling to be still, to fellowship with Him.

Beautiful sunset

Took some pict that day with the schlarly gang and other colleagues. Farewell lunch for Cuiwei and Tsewen.
The cheerful one with the bright smiley in blue Tsewen!! Gone back to USA to study. Cuiwei on my left, agnes on my right. Agnes is my gossip kaki! Jonathan on Tsewen's right. Schlar also..here on internship.
Had peranakan food at blue ginger. Not bad..but portion a bit small and expensive.

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Today at evening time..7 odd...i was walking to the pantry, and I saw this BEAUTIFUL sunset, outside the office windows.
The sun was a fiery round ball..lying on top of the clouds.

BEAUTIFUL!

It made my day. =)

Mighty power~!

We had deliverance services yesterday, and it was amazing. The love of God so strong in the place to heal broken hearts, and the mighty power, to break the yoke of the devil.

One of the gals, b4 i even prayed one sentence, she started to manifest. The demonic spirit inside her screamed and shout. Amazing power of God. That the devil trembles under Jesus's name. Indeed watever authority we have comes from Jesus. He is not a respector of persons!
Thank God for deliverance.

Also for the love of God...as tears began to flow, healing came into the wounded hearts. I hugged a gal who sobbed uncontrollably on my shoulders. And I felt God's love. For her, and for everyone who was hurting.

This reminds me of our daily prayers to God. We may not think much of it, as the results are not immediate, but it is working in the spiritual realm..our prayer requests to God. And there is tremendous power, and authority in Jesus's name.

Your prayer answer is on the way!! Now! =)


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Took a day off today.
Happy to be at home at this time..heh...had SE meeting in the day...then came home abt 545. =)

Good rest and time to refresh.

Yesterday had buffet with my family!! =) Yeah.....nice food, and yummy. Nourishing for the body.
mY sister's bday!! =) I love my sister!