Embracing the Lean Times
Wednesday, March 30, 2005by Os HillmanBut blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. ~ Jeremiah 17:7
Have you ever considered at what point a test becomes so difficult that you decide you can no longer trust in God and you must take over to solve the problem? The prophet Jeremiah describes a situation in which the temptation to solve a financial problem can become so great that we trust in man's way to solve it.
This is what the Lord says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit" (Jeremiah 17:5-8).
Jeremiah drew a sharp comparison between the man who trusts in his own effort to solve his problem and the man who trusts in God when he cannot see the outcome. The man who trusts in God bears fruit despite the circumstances in his life. He does not shrivel when the heat comes; in fact, his roots go deeper into God's grace. He continues to bear fruit in spite of his circumstances.
Recently, a friend from South Africa explained to me that whenever a plant lives in an arid climate, the roots drive deeper and deeper into the soil to get the water they need. This forces the plant to develop a root system that is far beyond the normal plant because it is forced to go deeper to gain the water it needs. Sometimes God forces us to go deeper into the grace of His love in order to build a greater foundation in our own lives. These lean times are designed to accomplish this in us. If you find yourself in this condition, ask the Lord who provides the water for our soul for the grace you need today to continue to bear fruit in the desert.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
In transition
Called Prof today, he said he can only finish reading my chapt 1 to 3 tmr, then on sat he will start with chap 4 and sun chapt 5. Hmm..and he says we will talk over phone the changes. He says last year his student and him talked on sunday till 2-3am.
I'm not too thrilled abt that prospect...to finish my thesis at Monday 2-3am, and print and bind it in a matter of hours. I never do such last minute work. I pray tat by the time he reads on sat, there wun be much changes.
In transition. Tats wat I am in. Attended a GE talk today on their graduate program, and then there's some 6 mths rotation thing. Wow..sounds good, and get to stay 6 mths overseas. That would be really exciting. Reminds me of the time during JC where I hoped to study abroad for my university, but din manage to get a scholarship.
Nevertheless not wat I want, but I pray tat the Lord will show me. A bit of going thru an up and down rollar coaster..and a turmoil in my emotions and thoughts.
Funny thing is, I'm not even sure wat I like as a job now...or wat my personality is. Seemed to have been too trained and personality changed. Kinda an in-between now.
As I was walking thru the carpark...memories kept flowing in. And in and in...
as I saw the TKGS girls boarding the bus..heh...
thought of how I wished to be cool and hip in sec sch. But was always the nerd.
Then I thot of the TKGS girls in VJC.
Then I thot of my RGS days in my pinafore...and the sch bus tat I took..and the super duper easy worryless life I had.
Then I remember...myself queueing up in the old church building at tanjong katong...in my rgs uniform. Hehs.
Okie enuff...
back to reality and work.
I'm not too thrilled abt that prospect...to finish my thesis at Monday 2-3am, and print and bind it in a matter of hours. I never do such last minute work. I pray tat by the time he reads on sat, there wun be much changes.
In transition. Tats wat I am in. Attended a GE talk today on their graduate program, and then there's some 6 mths rotation thing. Wow..sounds good, and get to stay 6 mths overseas. That would be really exciting. Reminds me of the time during JC where I hoped to study abroad for my university, but din manage to get a scholarship.
Nevertheless not wat I want, but I pray tat the Lord will show me. A bit of going thru an up and down rollar coaster..and a turmoil in my emotions and thoughts.
Funny thing is, I'm not even sure wat I like as a job now...or wat my personality is. Seemed to have been too trained and personality changed. Kinda an in-between now.
As I was walking thru the carpark...memories kept flowing in. And in and in...
as I saw the TKGS girls boarding the bus..heh...
thought of how I wished to be cool and hip in sec sch. But was always the nerd.
Then I thot of the TKGS girls in VJC.
Then I thot of my RGS days in my pinafore...and the sch bus tat I took..and the super duper easy worryless life I had.
Then I remember...myself queueing up in the old church building at tanjong katong...in my rgs uniform. Hehs.
Okie enuff...
back to reality and work.
How true
Understanding Our Own Calling
Tuesday, March 29, 2005by Os Hillman..."If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow Me." ~ John 21:22
Jesus was talking to Peter after he had just had a very important encounter with Him-one of the last meetings the two would have. This was the third time Jesus had shown Himself to the disciples after His resurrection. It is the famous dialogue between Jesus and Peter in which Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. Jesus followed by commanding, "Feed My sheep." Jesus went on to foretell of Peter's future death. As they were walking together, John was with Peter and Jesus. Peter asked Jesus about John and whether he would die also. Jesus reacted sharply to Peter's comment, telling him not to worry about what John's role or purpose was in life. All Peter had to do was worry about fulfilling his own purpose.
As workplace believers we tend to measure our success on whether we have achieved a certain position or stature in life. Even as Christians the temptation to believe that someone is blessed if they have achieved prominence is always confronting us. In His discussion with Peter, Jesus was getting at the very heart of the matter of a person's calling. Peter was worried about whether his friend John was going to get the same lot in life as he was. Jesus told him it should not be his concern. He was to concern himself only with one thing: his own calling before God.
Are you tempted to compare yourself with where others are in their life? Are you dissatisfied with where God has you right now? Be of good cheer-"[be] confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6).
Tuesday, March 29, 2005by Os Hillman..."If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow Me." ~ John 21:22
Jesus was talking to Peter after he had just had a very important encounter with Him-one of the last meetings the two would have. This was the third time Jesus had shown Himself to the disciples after His resurrection. It is the famous dialogue between Jesus and Peter in which Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. Jesus followed by commanding, "Feed My sheep." Jesus went on to foretell of Peter's future death. As they were walking together, John was with Peter and Jesus. Peter asked Jesus about John and whether he would die also. Jesus reacted sharply to Peter's comment, telling him not to worry about what John's role or purpose was in life. All Peter had to do was worry about fulfilling his own purpose.
As workplace believers we tend to measure our success on whether we have achieved a certain position or stature in life. Even as Christians the temptation to believe that someone is blessed if they have achieved prominence is always confronting us. In His discussion with Peter, Jesus was getting at the very heart of the matter of a person's calling. Peter was worried about whether his friend John was going to get the same lot in life as he was. Jesus told him it should not be his concern. He was to concern himself only with one thing: his own calling before God.
Are you tempted to compare yourself with where others are in their life? Are you dissatisfied with where God has you right now? Be of good cheer-"[be] confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6).
hi!
Just to pop a hi and say that I am still alive! heh. Haven't blogged for 2 days. Still working on thesis. Finished the writing, now editing and waiting for prof to reply too.
Re-read Pastor Ulf's sermon notes yest. One of the lines caught my attention. Pride= I am going to fix it myself.
Will lean on His strength. Cos I dun tink i can fix it myself.
Re-read Pastor Ulf's sermon notes yest. One of the lines caught my attention. Pride= I am going to fix it myself.
Will lean on His strength. Cos I dun tink i can fix it myself.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
HEHes
Prof teo called me yesterday nite..at 10 plus pm. heh. Asked me why my lit review only 5 pages? He sounded fatherly and concerned.
Today called me again at 6 plus (Today is a sunday, mind you). And asked me to shift my chapt1 stuff to chapt 2.
I'm quite touched la. And super grateful.
And u noe wat? Sat at service, I said a prayer to give the thesis to God? And...whoa...everything fell into place.
Me finished my chap 5..just did. Tmr edit chap 1 and 2...
send to prof again...
edit chap 3...
then send again..
then edit...
then...
heheh...
Need lotsa hardwork. But I feel less lost.
Today called me again at 6 plus (Today is a sunday, mind you). And asked me to shift my chapt1 stuff to chapt 2.
I'm quite touched la. And super grateful.
And u noe wat? Sat at service, I said a prayer to give the thesis to God? And...whoa...everything fell into place.
Me finished my chap 5..just did. Tmr edit chap 1 and 2...
send to prof again...
edit chap 3...
then send again..
then edit...
then...
heheh...
Need lotsa hardwork. But I feel less lost.
Change
Was listening to this brother's song...the lyrics go like
Because of YOUR great love,
I am willing to change for YOU.
I feel tat the Lord is calling me to change.
John Bevere says...when He takes out the impurities in u, a person has two responses. He either turns to Him in surrender and say I will change. OR, he goes another way, refuses to change in his sinful pride.
Whoever said tat change was easy? Or facing up to the truth of urself was easy?
Today's easter drama was so good and I couldn't stop tearing the first time I watched it. Because He touched me. Really so great His love.
And His love..gives me grace to change.
Help me Lord..to change.
To be like You.
Your kingdom come, Your will be done...
U search my heart and u know within me...the sin, the pride, the self sufficiency.
Help me....
I surrender to U.
Because of YOUR great love,
I am willing to change for YOU.
I feel tat the Lord is calling me to change.
John Bevere says...when He takes out the impurities in u, a person has two responses. He either turns to Him in surrender and say I will change. OR, he goes another way, refuses to change in his sinful pride.
Whoever said tat change was easy? Or facing up to the truth of urself was easy?
Today's easter drama was so good and I couldn't stop tearing the first time I watched it. Because He touched me. Really so great His love.
And His love..gives me grace to change.
Help me Lord..to change.
To be like You.
Your kingdom come, Your will be done...
U search my heart and u know within me...the sin, the pride, the self sufficiency.
Help me....
I surrender to U.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Looking upon the cross
Today is Good Friday.
Reading this book by Les Stobel. Just wanted to share a short passage with you my dear frens:
"The Romans used spikes that were five to seven inches long and tapered to a sharp point. They were driven through the wrists," Metherell said, pointing about an inch or so below his left palm.
"Hold it," I interrupted. "I thought the nails pierced his palms. That's what all the paintings show. In fact, it's become a standard symbol representing the Cruxification."
"Through the wrists," Metherell repeated. "This was a solid position that would lock the hand; if the nails had been driven through the palms, his weight would have caused the skin to tear and he would have fallen off the cross.
And it's important to understand that the nail would go through the place where the median nerve runs. This is the largest nerve going out of the hand, and it would be crushed by the nail that was being pounded in."
Since I have only a rudimentary knowledge of the human anatomy, I wasn't sure what this meant. "What sort of pain would that have produced?", I asked.
"Let me put it this way," he replied. "Do you know the kind of pain you feel when u bang your elbow and hit ur funny bone? That's actually another nerve, called the ulna nerve. It's extremely painful when you accidentally hit it.
"Well, picture taking a pair of pliers and squeezing and crushing that nerve," he said, emphasizing the word squeezing as he twisted an imaginary pair of pliers. "That effect would be similar to what Jesus experienced."
-The Case for Christ. Lee Strobel.
Read it, strongly recommended.
Reading this book by Les Stobel. Just wanted to share a short passage with you my dear frens:
"The Romans used spikes that were five to seven inches long and tapered to a sharp point. They were driven through the wrists," Metherell said, pointing about an inch or so below his left palm.
"Hold it," I interrupted. "I thought the nails pierced his palms. That's what all the paintings show. In fact, it's become a standard symbol representing the Cruxification."
"Through the wrists," Metherell repeated. "This was a solid position that would lock the hand; if the nails had been driven through the palms, his weight would have caused the skin to tear and he would have fallen off the cross.
And it's important to understand that the nail would go through the place where the median nerve runs. This is the largest nerve going out of the hand, and it would be crushed by the nail that was being pounded in."
Since I have only a rudimentary knowledge of the human anatomy, I wasn't sure what this meant. "What sort of pain would that have produced?", I asked.
"Let me put it this way," he replied. "Do you know the kind of pain you feel when u bang your elbow and hit ur funny bone? That's actually another nerve, called the ulna nerve. It's extremely painful when you accidentally hit it.
"Well, picture taking a pair of pliers and squeezing and crushing that nerve," he said, emphasizing the word squeezing as he twisted an imaginary pair of pliers. "That effect would be similar to what Jesus experienced."
-The Case for Christ. Lee Strobel.
Read it, strongly recommended.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Stretching my limits
Prof Teo (Sorry to tell u this look): "I read your chapter 4. It's not very interesting. To me, it's not exciting. The propositions that you give are quite intuitive. As in..we all know that when funding increases, charitable organisations will seek more alliances."
Prof had read my second last draft, not the last one.
He pointed out some mistakes on my part..
Heh
Yah and I re-read. It's NOT exciting indeed.
Now gotto find more journals to back up all my claims.
DUN make sweeping statements.
Grammer must improve..
tenses too.
Use present tense.
OKIs
Though his feedback wasn't so positive, I tink it helps. COs.......
Criticsm is good.
Feedback is betta than none...
OKEE..gotto burn midnight oils..or...wake up b4 the sun shines on me.
8am. I will resolve to do tat everyday.
Called James abt forum GOH.
James: I dun have any recommendation to that. Depends on your team.
Ermm..hmmmm....
---
Easter is coming.
Day tat Jesus rose from the dead for us. Every single one of us.
Thank You Lord.
There is really super magnificent power in all tat.
In the midst of this..I find tat..
I've so many dear frens tat encourage me. Thank u!!
Today feng started msning me "jia you". Haha..2nd time. I kinda forced him to proof read for me when I'm done.
Eu has always been there. XT "jia you"s a lot too.
WJ and kel are my fellow "sufferers" in the same boat. Thank God for them.
Most of all..
received a good news from a newcomer in church yest. Called me and said, he received healing from Benny Hinn. Healing from his mood swings and depression. Tats the greatest news anyone can tell me. ANd..he prayed to receive Christ! Heavens rejoices.
Met di today. She's coming on sunday! Yo girl! :)
N272..my helpers and everyone are a great bunch.
Thank you for all tat.
Tmr..is VCF musical which Min is singing in. Hehe..she has the voice of an angel. So glad for tat. Will be going down..and to meet old frens too. I thot of my thesis and din wanna go..but I shall. Something prompts me to go.
God..give me strength and wisdom..and hope for the new day. AMEN!
Prof had read my second last draft, not the last one.
He pointed out some mistakes on my part..
Heh
Yah and I re-read. It's NOT exciting indeed.
Now gotto find more journals to back up all my claims.
DUN make sweeping statements.
Grammer must improve..
tenses too.
Use present tense.
OKIs
Though his feedback wasn't so positive, I tink it helps. COs.......
Criticsm is good.
Feedback is betta than none...
OKEE..gotto burn midnight oils..or...wake up b4 the sun shines on me.
8am. I will resolve to do tat everyday.
Called James abt forum GOH.
James: I dun have any recommendation to that. Depends on your team.
Ermm..hmmmm....
---
Easter is coming.
Day tat Jesus rose from the dead for us. Every single one of us.
Thank You Lord.
There is really super magnificent power in all tat.
In the midst of this..I find tat..
I've so many dear frens tat encourage me. Thank u!!
Today feng started msning me "jia you". Haha..2nd time. I kinda forced him to proof read for me when I'm done.
Eu has always been there. XT "jia you"s a lot too.
WJ and kel are my fellow "sufferers" in the same boat. Thank God for them.
Most of all..
received a good news from a newcomer in church yest. Called me and said, he received healing from Benny Hinn. Healing from his mood swings and depression. Tats the greatest news anyone can tell me. ANd..he prayed to receive Christ! Heavens rejoices.
Met di today. She's coming on sunday! Yo girl! :)
N272..my helpers and everyone are a great bunch.
Thank you for all tat.
Tmr..is VCF musical which Min is singing in. Hehe..she has the voice of an angel. So glad for tat. Will be going down..and to meet old frens too. I thot of my thesis and din wanna go..but I shall. Something prompts me to go.
God..give me strength and wisdom..and hope for the new day. AMEN!
Monday, March 21, 2005
My profs still haven't reply me yet!! :(
Why are they so busy...
SIGH. SO helpless. Nothing I can do about this.
Pls pray for me to have wisdom. Wisdom of a professor.
Yest I had a dream. Of a cat and a hamster. Both owned by me. The hamster walked in my palm..was itchy.
I dreamt I met Mr. Goh Chok Tong. And I asked him to be the GOH for our forum. He kindly said to me..I will email u back soon.
Why are they so busy...
SIGH. SO helpless. Nothing I can do about this.
Pls pray for me to have wisdom. Wisdom of a professor.
Yest I had a dream. Of a cat and a hamster. Both owned by me. The hamster walked in my palm..was itchy.
I dreamt I met Mr. Goh Chok Tong. And I asked him to be the GOH for our forum. He kindly said to me..I will email u back soon.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Heart operation
I feel peace.
Not because all things are well.
But because I am at peace with my Maker!
I realise that all along I wanted someone to walk with me. I wanted affirmation, reassurance. Wanted to have someone hold me hand.
Been seeking them all over in the wrong places.
I think tat even getting a first class honours...it will make me happy, but it wun satisfy my soul. This deep down longing for something more.
This hole and gap.
And as I walk along..I realise that my companion and fren Jesus.
He is so interesting. Heh
Showing me new things everyday.
I walk to a place...and I wanted to go in. But He said wait, no! You are not ready yet.
So He directs me...
and leads me to another place.
And in time..He brings me back to that place.
I realise tat i now have the ability to conquer it.
He has made me so big on the inside.
But I am only as big as He is big.
As strong as He is strong.
Tat is wat
"My grace is made perfect in your weakness" means.
Not because all things are well.
But because I am at peace with my Maker!
I realise that all along I wanted someone to walk with me. I wanted affirmation, reassurance. Wanted to have someone hold me hand.
Been seeking them all over in the wrong places.
I think tat even getting a first class honours...it will make me happy, but it wun satisfy my soul. This deep down longing for something more.
This hole and gap.
And as I walk along..I realise that my companion and fren Jesus.
He is so interesting. Heh
Showing me new things everyday.
I walk to a place...and I wanted to go in. But He said wait, no! You are not ready yet.
So He directs me...
and leads me to another place.
And in time..He brings me back to that place.
I realise tat i now have the ability to conquer it.
He has made me so big on the inside.
But I am only as big as He is big.
As strong as He is strong.
Tat is wat
"My grace is made perfect in your weakness" means.
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