心里充满泪水的医生

Just watched an episode of the Korean drama on doctors. I catch it here and there when I am at home on weekends. Today's episode brought some tears to my eyes.
In the hospital where politics abound, where the management is more concerned about reputation and revenue, where doctors plot against one another and are more concerned about their status and promotion, where reputation counts more than a patient's life... A very very tired Dr. Cui (snr & compassionate doctor) tells Dr. Li (young & idealistic doctor) this:
"你要做一个心里充满温暖的医生,一个心里充满泪水的医生".

It was an episode whereby dreams were sheltered. Idealism was challenged. A tired Dr. Cui asks himself what it meant to be a doctor. His aim- to save lives, give a patient an extra day of life, even if it means 10 hrs of surgery. But what did he get in the end?

A disillusioned Dr. Li leaves the hospital in his motor bike, his eyes filled with tears- he was giving up his dream of being a doctor to save lives.

How many times I've felt like that last year. The struggle with disillusionment and idealism. But I want to be a person filled with tears in my heart. When I stop having tears in my heart, I think thats a bad sign.

I want to be filled with tears for the poor, the marginalized and the lost.
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Today Pastor Ed shared one episode of temptation in his life. I was so blessed to hear it coming from him. It must have taken much courage & humility to share it with the congregation. At the same time, the feelings he described were feelings I experienced before too. Why can't I get what I want? This feeling of regret, feelings of lost. But temptation...yeah...we are to flee from it. And it is not about us, it is about a loving God who helps us.