What I really want

Its interesting how when we go through tough seasons, these are usually some of the most fruitful seasons as well.

God is doing a deep work in my heart for the past 2 weeks, which are a bit personal to share here. Nevertheless, I believe that His healing will come, and closure will come. I am clinging on to Him.

During this season, church life is getting busy with the building up of activities! I'm learning a lot of things through leading my discipleship group, who are made up of 5 other young intelligent women! (heh I just paid a compliment to myself) This is interesting because in the past my cell had been a youth cell in CHC, and the demographics is definitely very different. Through different ocassions, God is teaching me to love, and at the same time, showing me how much He loves each one of us. U know, sometimes I think God really loves the abandoned and the marginalized, and I need to see His heartbeat for the city dwellers as well. He loves them abundantly indeed.

And so, yep, in the midst of the painful workings in the heart, I find that ministry aspect is so fruitful, and really somehow His grace is keeping everything afloat. And I believe that prayer has also worked amazing things in hearts.

I had pretty good fellowship and fruitful chats with my colleagues as well. And had the opportunity to encourage a few who are feeling down about work. Managed to share Christ through a few ocassions.

One of the topics of conversations these days, is the ques of why did I decide to work in a non-profit?
I've been telling people it is a non-profit ofcos, but yesterday as I was sharing with my colleague, the most coherent thing came out from within. I told him that I had encountered God's love, and hence also hope that others can experience this love. And that in every decision we make, we choose something that is of value to us. I am merely choosing something that is of value to me, and will make me happier.
These days I've been thinking about what I really want. There are various non-profit things that one could be doing, various grps to reach out to, various counseling to different individuals. And as I searched deeper, I realise what I want is not to help people perse by meeting their emotional and physical needs, I hope to have a ministry whereby I can administer God's healing upon people. That's why I don't think I want to become a counsellor or psychologist. I hope really to pray for people, and for the Holy Spirit to work in their lives to bring restoration. As for the target group, I think that EVERYONE needs God and Singapore has many needs. But I think there must be people who are willing to go to areas where there is no light at all. In Singapore there are many churches and social organizations! In the past, I thought that every christian should share the same passion for people overseas, I realise usually they do care, but to talk about an overwhelming passion, I think it is a calling for one to feel so deeply about these issues. I think God must be calling me. I'm not sure. I hope to find out in the next couple of years.