Just had my reunion dinner and I feel quite happy! Managed to chat with my cousin while we had some time alone waiting for the rest, and we talked about religion, family and other perspectives. So I'm thankful. And also being able to host the reunion this year at home was nice! The aunts and uncles, cousins and nephews made the whole place bustle with energy. I guess, I am pretty much a people person, and enjoy connecting and building relationships with people.
Today until the reunion dinner, there was this secret fear that plagued my heart. There was this sense of insecurity, and fear of being alone. And connecting with people just now has very much healed it. :) I guess there are a few relationships and friendships that I really treasure in my life. And sometimes, I realise how insecure I become and oversensitive over little things, be it through actions or conversations. So I start second guessing what people really mean, when actually, they do care about me.
Sometimes, I think this insecurity also carries itself into my relationship with God. Cos there are days when I feel so radically loved and blessed by Him. There are other days when He seems far from me. But whether I feel loved or not, I need to anchor myself in His word and remind myself of how He really loves me.
So anyway at this moment, I feel really blessed and loved! And just now washing the plates and bowls made me happy too. I feel so gainfully employed. haha. :) And anyway, now that I've cleaned up my room, and put up some nice photos, I like my room a lot too! Its such a nice little cosy corner to myself. And somewhat a shelter. :)
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