I haven't been sharing that much about the things that have been happening, I guess it is because I have been quite busy, and other then that, maybe I don't really know how to express how I feel. Just letting those emotions settle down a bit.
Thank you my dear blog readers for sharing in my journey. heh. ;o
Yup, as most of you already know, I rejected a job offer which was everything that I wanted, a job to travel and interact with the poor, to teach kids in Singapore about poverty. It was from a humanitarian organization which I look up to and hope to learn from. I had spoken to my bosses and was all set to leave. (that is why I can be so explicit in this blog) Yet, my parents were so upset with me that dad wanted to chase me out of the house. It broke my heart since I love my parents and I want them to share this conviction, and to know God's heart as well. I don't want to stumble them when they are not ready for change. And yup, God's calling should bring peace, I wasn't at peace but very troubled. So I had to reject my dream job, and it was very tough, I feel very broken.
On and off, a question pops up in my mind, what if...I had...
And I know it gets me nowhere, I shouldn't even go by that route. Yup, I am wondering where next right now. Hoping to plan the next trip for my co. to cambodia with Operations Hope Foundation . Other then that I think instead of doing many activities, I should spend time being at rest with God, which I think is the whole purpose of this situation! :)
Today I sat into a course with the associates on hedge funds and the different strategies like arbitrage, long short, global macro etc etc. I've been thinking these days about how the Lord can use me, and what else I have that is different from others. I didn't understand a lot of what was taught, cos I don't think my strength is in finance, but yet He has brought me through uni majoring in finance. And blessed me with a good pay, with understanding bosses who believe in me and try to accomodate to my interests. So I am really praying and seeking how I can fulfill His calling where I am now, how I can contribute to the mkt place ministry. And how I can also share my experiences on those overseas trips with my colleagues. And yup, where I shd give my finances too.
Interestingly, Pastor David talked abt Daniel during service this week, how Daniel was forced to stay in the palace, yet he always remembered his calling. I am not so sure we are in the same situation, tho I do feel quite "forced" to be here. But I remember Joseph didn't have a nice ride either, and the Lord had to teach him lotsa things through the journey. I know my calling to the marginalized and broken hearted, confirmed through this series of events, and I pray that while I am here, I may serve His calling in whichever capacity He has placed me in. =)
And so the moods swing up and down again. Argghs. One moment full of hope & dreams & positivity, the other moment wondering when and where. And wishing and hoping. Perhaps. Ya. And even of someone to accompany me on this journey. But I know that the Lord is good. He really really is so good.
New things are happening at cell too. But its a bit tiring to travel to bukit timah every week now. I reached home at 1145pm yesterday by bus and I am so so so so tired! Really sleepy. Havent been sleeping that well these few days. And since I got back fr my trip, work has been bz. So not much time for a break. But this thur-sat is IDMC ! Looking forward to a time with God.
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