My calling

It has been another challenging busy week of late nights and somewhat sleepless nights as my brain keeps churning. Yet God has been good to me, continuing to show me things after the church retreat last weekend. :) Thank You.

I feel tired, but I don't feel unhappy. In fact I can now analyse things from a clearer perspective.

I begin to realise what He has called me in the past was not to be a leader per se, but rather it was His promise that He could use me in spite of my inadequacy and lack of eloquence. It was this promise that I needed to get back to.

So as I seek Him to find out my calling, He is showing me that this calling is not whether I am suitable to be a cgl or not. But this calling of being His child, His disciple and His chosen one, anointed & empowered to preach His word, to be a light to the Gentiles, which is His calling for every single christian.

I used to write many letters to people, this was because I couldn't convey to them verbally what I felt deeply in my heart.

Ha...one big round and reminder all over again of His dear love for me. :)

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Had a packed day today, went to company for a course, then gave bible study, then went to dept bbq, and then at night wedding dinner. :) Feel at rest now, tho was v stressed yest night that I didn't sleep well. Have course and work for 2.5 weeks, which is v siong. Is this what life is about? I refuse to be sucked into the mundanity of work life.
Anyhow, today met up with some dear VCF frens as it was B and G's wedding. So happy for B. =) God has brought him a long way in this journey. Anyway....my table was all married couples, and C even brought her baby girl!
So all that thinking again about how I shd go on living the rest of 3/4 of my life. This time though, with no judgmentalism about how others led their lives, rather, asking the Lord abt my own life. Whether it is getting married, working in corp world and have kids. How much time will I have after kids and working? Hmm....how shd I balance my time? How does He most of all, want me to live my life?
And ofcos this envious feelings towards those on the table, having someone besides you to share food with, and to take food for. :P And yar...Just surrendering these thoughts to the Lord, may He sanctify it and guide me for the years ahead.

It has been interesting week, meeting some socially conscious ple as well. New linkups. New things ahead. And a deep assurance in my heart of His everlasting love for me.