Sunday, September 20, 2009

I don't understand...

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if time was not linear? i.e. you can see past present and future at one glance. I watched The Time Travellor's Wife about 2 weeks ago. It made me think of how I would behave differently, if I knew what was going to happen to me in the future. Would I love more? Would I make certain different choices? And most of all, I thought of God who knew all things beforehand, because a thousand years to Him is like a second. And imagine He already knew that at X time, u are going to meet Y person. But you aren't gonna be meeting Y person just yet because ABCD has to happen.

Today when I got on the MRT, there was some vomit like spill on the floor in front of two vacant seats. I don't know what had happened before that for the vomit to be on the floor. But 2 stops later, to my surprise, an elderly cleaning aunty came in with newspapers, trashbag, mop and bucket in tow. She started using the newspapers to clean up the mess, and yup, some of the stuff sipped into the newspapers, i could see, and Im sure her hands got dirty as a result. I felt sad. If she were my grandma, i would be sad to see her mopping the floor and cleaning stuff while the MRT was moving. But yet I don't know....because we do need cleaning aunties, and others to do very menial tasks, but essential to keep our environment clean.

So anyway, she finished cleaning in 2 stops, and what struck me was this. The people who came in after she left the MRT had no idea at all what happened there. And there it was, even after she had cleaned the floor, the 2, now 3 seats remained empty. NO one who had witnessed this thing wanted to step on wet and once dirty floor. And this guy who came on the next station just happily sat down, and was lookg ard at why people were not sitting.

This made me think abt a lot of scenerios in life. Because of our limitations in perspective, and time being linear, we don't know what had happened a min or even a second before to any person, or at any place. Only God is omniscient. I really wished with all my heart that certain outcomes would have been different in my life. But I realise that they are what they are for a reason, and I don't know why, but there's a reason. Can I trust God then, that He knows the best? That everything that happens in the world is in His hands. Choices people make interplay with divine orchestration. Sometimes I really wish i could replay scenes I missed though...so i can understand...sometimes I wonder why certain people left my life, why God has to take them away. And really...mabbe....there's a reason I don't know. Its painful I know. I don't understand, but He does and He allows something to happen or not happen in a season for a reason.

Talking abt rubbish cleaning, GB has a camp called Fast, Food N Fuzz, which has elements of simple food (porridge), sleeping on cardboard boxes, games and prayer for third world countries to help girls understand abstinance and poverty. This is for the primary 4 onwards girls. I really like the concept. One particular game, expired food is poured into a bucket, and girls need to dig out breadtags from inside to exchange for food. The bucket has all the goey stuff. Trust me, you wouldn't want to stick yr hand in there. When I saw the little girls sticking their hands inside, I wanted to cry. Cos I remembered in Philippines and Cambodia, little children were running ard the dump picking up rubbish to recycle. I wanted to cry, because it is so degrading, that a child made in the image of God has to beg and survive on residual rubbish food. Its just a game for the girls alright, but children in the third world do that everyday to feed their tummies. Why such a stark difference in living conditions? Why some are born in sunny, safe Singapore, and others in war torn, flood areas? I don't know. I really don't know. I don't pretend to understand. But one day, in Heaven, my God will wipe away every tear. And justice will reign.

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