hi! I haven't been blogging much this week cos almost not sure what to blog about. =P I've been feeling more stressed up and restless at work lately, but thought I shouldn't keep whinning in this blog about these! The spiritual warfare is quite intensed as I prepare to go for trip, in terms of feelings of sadness and heaviness. Yet, amidst this, I also sense His sovereign hand covering me.
Received an interesting email today, and it taught me lessons on waiting and trusting. Anyhow it was very encouraging, and once again He knew I needed this reassuring pat on the back to know that He is walking with me. =) Yeah. Thank You...
Hmm. Been looking for a backpack, looking online and also shopping today! Haven't really found one yet, may borrow my fren's one instead. heh. Maybe I shd invest in one good one for future usage. Anticipating more and more travels overseas?
Thanking God for the nice bathroom, warm bed, big tv set, computer, fans...everything He has blessed our family with. :) And thinking of the 12 day trip, would have to stay in much more modest conditions. Honestly, who doesn't like to stay in big hotel suites with big fluffy pillows. I do! I hope to go to Europe again and roam the beautiful streets and look at architechture. Wanna sit at the cafe and drink hot chocolate. heh. ;) But I'm also looking forward to being in the nature, being close to the sky. And the most plus point is, seeing God touch lives.
What am I doing here? I will like to think that if I do make a change in career choice, who knows maybe soon? Maybe in the future? I am not escaping from one thing to another. I don't want it to be a push factor bcos I feel stressed out. I want it to be a pull factor towards His calling for me. For I know that there is still much to do in the company, many more souls to reach out to. Many hearts to touch. I feel inadequate to do much cos I enter the office in a state of weariness these days. I think the past few weeks have been filled with challenges at home & courses, hence I didn't really focus on my job. Now that things are more settled down, and work has broken into a routine once again...it uncovered something disatisfying on the inside that I've burried.
Ultimately to the poor, the good news of the gospel is the best news. That's what I say bcos I think food and clothing will not satisfy them completely. Just like food and clothing never satisfied us who are so well fed and well clothed. That spoken, we should provide these things for the poor and point them to the ultimate savior. Hmm..some questions that have been bothering me: Why do I see colleagues who count down to weekends, and shuffle their bodies into the office in the morning? I feel sad sometimes thinking of how pointless it can become. And yes...aren't we all in search for meaning? ;)
Friday, July 27, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Remind me Jesus
Time seems to go on a standstill this morning. My dad's op should have completed by now. While I plough through the flood of emails that look like greek to me, and the unending deadlines, trying to motivate myself that these mattered. Remind me again, why am I here?
I'm scared, seeing my parents grow old, and seeing my life passing by. At the end of the day, holding on to His firm strong hand, and His gentle whisper that all is alright, He has got a hold on me.
I'm scared, seeing my parents grow old, and seeing my life passing by. At the end of the day, holding on to His firm strong hand, and His gentle whisper that all is alright, He has got a hold on me.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
I am whole
Its interesting this journey with God...Uphills and downhills. =)
It has been somewhat a struggle for some time feeling a sense of misfit with people, esp christians. Yet knowing that He wants me to be part of the fellowship of believers, hence pressing on even though sometimes I didn't feel like it.
But getting to know people on a deeper level, I've started to learn a thing or two. First and foremost I guess I look inward and realise my pridefulness. Other then that, seeing how He is moving in each one's life in His own divine way for we are all on different ends of the journey, whereby He meets us. And finally learning somethings from them.
I realise tat I've been blessed with a job that is not that bad because I can still go home at 7ish almost everyday and sometimes I leave at 6ish. There are only some seasons I go back at 8ish or 9ish. Whereas some of my friends have to work on weekends and till 11ish, even 4am on weekdays. :/ And I do find my pay & bonuses very decent, in fact quite good. I think He has blessed me and helped me at work, giving me the grace to serve Him.
Putting up a proposal for community service in the office! Hopefully God will give me wisdom to do the right thing.
These days I realise that I should not allow my 9-6 job to set limitations on what I want to do/like to do. I guess I am slowly finding my identity, who He has created me to be. Lord, I wanna be WHOLE! There is still much much to explore...
Like the 12 day trip coming up in Aug. :)
It has been somewhat a struggle for some time feeling a sense of misfit with people, esp christians. Yet knowing that He wants me to be part of the fellowship of believers, hence pressing on even though sometimes I didn't feel like it.
But getting to know people on a deeper level, I've started to learn a thing or two. First and foremost I guess I look inward and realise my pridefulness. Other then that, seeing how He is moving in each one's life in His own divine way for we are all on different ends of the journey, whereby He meets us. And finally learning somethings from them.
I realise tat I've been blessed with a job that is not that bad because I can still go home at 7ish almost everyday and sometimes I leave at 6ish. There are only some seasons I go back at 8ish or 9ish. Whereas some of my friends have to work on weekends and till 11ish, even 4am on weekdays. :/ And I do find my pay & bonuses very decent, in fact quite good. I think He has blessed me and helped me at work, giving me the grace to serve Him.
Putting up a proposal for community service in the office! Hopefully God will give me wisdom to do the right thing.
These days I realise that I should not allow my 9-6 job to set limitations on what I want to do/like to do. I guess I am slowly finding my identity, who He has created me to be. Lord, I wanna be WHOLE! There is still much much to explore...
Like the 12 day trip coming up in Aug. :)
Friday, July 06, 2007
Respite...
Finally a time to sit down and be quiet by myself. Yeah a Friday night! :)
Dad is going for an op next week, so I've been worried. But so thankful that tonight my parents' church friends came to our house to sing, pray and have their cell group meeting here. In times like this, I am thankful for the church community that He has put us in. So thank you Lord for this reminder of community. It was nice listening to the chinese hymms in the living room.
Other then that I have been on course at suntec for the past 3 days learning about project management. Its somewhat a good respite. Heh. Which comes with a but...I got to catch up on some work next week. and prob tmr.
Met up with M tonight for our last nurturer's bible study. =) It has been 6 mths and today was the last lesson with her! Always don't feel v prepared meeting her, but thank God for the abundance of grace, and I have to release her to Him, to trust that He is the one who will continue to work within her life.
Eh...what else to blog about? Except I have been thinking again about social work. With the ending of the counseling dip, it makes me wonder again. A fren is rather depressive and suicidal these days, and I am worried about her as well. Thank you C for reminding me to come against the burden bearing spirit.
How God, where should I go from here?
Dad is going for an op next week, so I've been worried. But so thankful that tonight my parents' church friends came to our house to sing, pray and have their cell group meeting here. In times like this, I am thankful for the church community that He has put us in. So thank you Lord for this reminder of community. It was nice listening to the chinese hymms in the living room.
Other then that I have been on course at suntec for the past 3 days learning about project management. Its somewhat a good respite. Heh. Which comes with a but...I got to catch up on some work next week. and prob tmr.
Met up with M tonight for our last nurturer's bible study. =) It has been 6 mths and today was the last lesson with her! Always don't feel v prepared meeting her, but thank God for the abundance of grace, and I have to release her to Him, to trust that He is the one who will continue to work within her life.
Eh...what else to blog about? Except I have been thinking again about social work. With the ending of the counseling dip, it makes me wonder again. A fren is rather depressive and suicidal these days, and I am worried about her as well. Thank you C for reminding me to come against the burden bearing spirit.
How God, where should I go from here?
Monday, July 02, 2007
Where the heart beats
A poignant night, my last lesson for the counseling psychology diploma. It has been one whole year of learning, growing, and I'm thankful that He has brought me so far. :)
One year ago I was contemplating a church switch, was feeling lost about which way to go, desperately looking for some meaning in life. And the happy big colourful banner of Counseling Psych diploma hung outside the Amoy Food Centre had a strange allure. There I lingered around for some weeks in apprehension, before I strided in and paid the deposit.
Whilst at the start wanting to just do a 2 month certificate course, I was enticed into signing up for the dip course. The cert was not enough...too short...and left me wanting to learn more.
So yah...went into it without much thought, was just feeling low at the point in time and badly in need of some meaning and inspiration. Aspire to Inspire before we Expire- goes the slogan. I was desperately in need for some inspiration.
So here goes...Thank You to LEE Community College and its team for this fantastic year of learning. Many times it was recharging, sitting into the lectures and learning counseling techniques, which strangely resounded deeply into the recesses of my own heart.
In the last class today, we were asked, so when are you going to start living for yourself? Many of us live to please others, to seek attention...to make ourselves belong in society. But you are not being fair to yourself! Which triggered a whole lot of reflection once again....and there the neurons go jumping about in my brains, and there the heart beats....knowing the reason it was created for.
I know what I should do to live for myself. And I can forsee it happening in the future. Holding on to this piece of dream/of hope/of passion. May it not just be my own dream, but the destiny which He had for me when He created me.
One year ago I was contemplating a church switch, was feeling lost about which way to go, desperately looking for some meaning in life. And the happy big colourful banner of Counseling Psych diploma hung outside the Amoy Food Centre had a strange allure. There I lingered around for some weeks in apprehension, before I strided in and paid the deposit.
Whilst at the start wanting to just do a 2 month certificate course, I was enticed into signing up for the dip course. The cert was not enough...too short...and left me wanting to learn more.
So yah...went into it without much thought, was just feeling low at the point in time and badly in need of some meaning and inspiration. Aspire to Inspire before we Expire- goes the slogan. I was desperately in need for some inspiration.
So here goes...Thank You to LEE Community College and its team for this fantastic year of learning. Many times it was recharging, sitting into the lectures and learning counseling techniques, which strangely resounded deeply into the recesses of my own heart.
In the last class today, we were asked, so when are you going to start living for yourself? Many of us live to please others, to seek attention...to make ourselves belong in society. But you are not being fair to yourself! Which triggered a whole lot of reflection once again....and there the neurons go jumping about in my brains, and there the heart beats....knowing the reason it was created for.
I know what I should do to live for myself. And I can forsee it happening in the future. Holding on to this piece of dream/of hope/of passion. May it not just be my own dream, but the destiny which He had for me when He created me.
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