Accepted in the Beloved

I'm in a quarter-life crisis!

Today I went out with EY and helped him choose some clothes. =) It was really q nice and I got a pair of shoes and necklace for my cousin's wedding. All purple in colour. Hehe...
We went to eat some food and then I saw Lee BA, my Maths teacher in JC. HEh! I liked him so so so very much cos he was very interesting when he taught us maths, and my maths was q good. (Btw, he was wearing a wedding ring! So excited for him) I told Mr. Lee that I was with EY who used to be my tuition student. Then he went like, then r u treating him? He said I shd cos I am already working.

I was kinda blown away by the statement, and then the whole truth sank in, I am 23 and I am a working ADULT!! AHHH!! I am no longer a student/youth. I am an adult!! Boohoo hoo..

My mind is filled with images of Zao An Lao Shi now..where the students loved Chen Liping, their teacher..as well as those of Chen Han Wei as the lovely encouraging teacher. And actually I think being a CGL is somewhat like a teacher cum guide to the youths lives. And I was really q blessed and touched by the thought la. Hope that I can be a better leader and someone whom the mbrs can love and look up to..the verse Imitate me as I imitate CHrist comes to my mind. =)

And then parts of my life as a youth came flooding to my mind. I shared a part of my BGR stuff with the CG on Friday. Its not easy sharing ur BGR stuffs and the silly embarrassing stuffs u did, but on Tuesday, when I was asking God how to best communicate with the ple abt r/s, He said to talk abt myself. And I did.

Then the floodgates of memory were open..I was really a very insecure person and I really didn't like myself very much. In sec sch the trend was short hair, so I cut mine really short, and then my mum cut my hair for me in sec 1..and it looked a bit like a mushroom. And in JC I had a pimpled face, and I hated my face cos of the acne. One day Bro John (Vene-my ex cgl's husband) told me to bind the pimples and to pray. And then I also went to skin centre and heh..praise the Lord, all the acne was gone!! YAy! And then I rebonded my hair and coloured so that I will look prettier...
And it all came back one loop I mean like right now I am SHORT hair, and my colouring is fading away. =)
As I was cutting away the hair, I said that it felt like all the rebonding and makeup and colour all cut away and I was myself. And yups I am happy with myself today! =)

Oh yeah...and the experience at Yunnan was really lovely lovely....wonderful sitting in the open air and looking at the shooting stars and also playing with the kids there. That was when I felt the ugliest. Cos I was in my nerdy specs and my effect of rebonding had left my long hair...and it was all wavy and messy. But I remember this gal abt 15 coming to me..and she said Jie Jie, ni hen piao liang or smthing.

God really did a mighty work within me and brought healing...there were times when I prayed and told myself, I forgive u (myself) and I love u (myself). And the first few times were so hard to say but I said with all my heart and might and when I believed in it, I wept cos there was such a tremendous healing within me.

So just wanna encourage whoever that is reading this. Its not easy to accept urself. Esp if u been told since young that u need to do this and that before u will be acceptable. But, God made everyone of us beautiful...and He loves u as u are... If God can love u, then surely, u can also love urself as the beautiful and unique one that He has created. =)
God bless u!