Little Children

Its kinda interesting that I've taken an interest to children recently. hehe. The bible says let the little children come into God's kingdom. There's a simplicity about children that warms my heart. And ofcos the immense potential that each kiddo carries. =) I think that children's ministry would be a crucial component too, in missions work, bcos in teaching the children while they are young the right values, it builds up their character for the future. Did I not also first learn about Jesus and praying and God when I was in primary school from my domestic helper? She was such a big influence in my life, teaching me to pray on a daily basis.
Had a dream that day of little kiddos singing with adults in a concert few nights ago. Think its cos I listened to too many songs of kids singing.
This Dec 26- 2 Jan I would be at Indonesia Pekanbaru, going to an orphanage. I really dunno anything much about ministering to children. But I pray that the little kids may know that even though they are orphans on earth, they are dearly loved by the heavenly Father, accepted and adopted into His family.

My trip to Cambodia meanwhile is still unconfirmed! It is targetted to be from the 7-18 Dec. I don't like the uncertainty, but I have decided not to live my life based on that limbo mode. But each day as I can (well, at least from now to the 7th, and after the 18th), I shall make all my appts and carry on with life. Xmas started early this year for me, started buying presents already, in view of my traveling. I shall keep you posted on my travels and learn to live each day at a time, giving thanks for each day.

thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day in America. We don't celebrate it in SG, but anyhow, I went for a dinner tonight in which a few ple made short speeches of thanksgiving. It moved my heart to think about all the things to give thanks for.
Flashes of people, scenerios, provisions came to mind. So clear that HE led me thru each of these.
Spent a short while at the playground just now, just stopping. Just being present where I am. And reflected. Has He not always provided, is His hand shortened? And would He not provide?

I prayed for and said encouraging words to 2 people this month, people whom I had issues with, whom I had difficulty relating to. Thankful bcos the gesture enlarged my heart to love.

Thankfulness, truly the remedy to a complaining spirit.

This week at service, Pastor Ed Wong talked abt how to break thru in desert grd. One of the pts was how God called us to witness even in the midst of the difficulties we face. Somehow I think, life is not going to get any easier, but we can choose how to respond to our situations, and God grants us the grace to love others even when it is difficult.

If I could like...give thanks for the work He is doing, find joy & satisfaction in my work...that would be...the gift of God. (Ecclesiastics)

Funny thing happened to me tis week. I was contemplating attending a talk, and the speaker of the talk emailed me wrongly. She was replying to a grp of people and somehow i ended up in her cc. It was so strange! Kind of knew I was supposed to go for the talk. I went and at the end I said hi to her, and she said GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH, which made me want to cry. It was like this small little setup...seems like a coincidence, but whatever it is, God enabled it just to tell me a message that HE loves me.

Well it has been a tough year, insommia, relationship issue, work stress, disillusionment, bordering on depression and hopelessness. Somehow, sometimes, it is embracing the pain, and knowing that Jesus walks thru the pain with you. Really holding on to your hand, and telling u, I am so proud of you my precious girl. =) And its all worth the while for Him.

Staying is harder than leaving?

I was supposed to go to Cambodia this week. Within the span of a few hours, the decision fluctuated between leaving on Friday, then Saturday, then Thursday - thur no flights. A longer wait and at night it was decided a no go!
I really wonder what God is trying to teach me at such times. I was kinda frustrated and uptight the whole of yesterday waiting for the decision to be made. I'm serving in the Banquet of Honour on Friday and Sunday so I really didn't know what/how to pray about going or not going. I felt a tremendous sense of relief when the decision was finally made, cos I won't be hanging in the middle. But I felt disappointed I won't be going to Cambodia. But it also means that its more likely I would be going to India. I really don't know what to make of it!
I figured that I would have felt equally disappointed if I was going, and I couldn't serve in the Banquet of Honour. I guess ultimately the lesson is that of faith and surrendering of my life to God. Literally, for Him to bring me wherever He wants to and whenever. Its a surrender of my rights as I have no control over the situation at all.
And maybe again its not about the pomp about going anywhere, jetsetting, or telling others hey I'm leaving for Cambodia. Its really doing admin work, tying up details, briefing people, preparing people in Singapore. And reaching out to internationals in Singapore. None too glorious, but an ultimate test of my heart. Why do I want to go?

Sometimes maybe, staying is harder than leaving.

Today

I went for my first mass run today with Jas and YX. It was organized by Great Eastern. =P
It was kinda fun, at first I felt like I was running on the spot cos it was so crowded, and I could barely move. But coming to about 2.5km onwards, people started to become more spread out, and I could fly! =p The last 100 m was exhilarating. Running to the end with crowds of people all around you! I finished 5km in 29min 32sec (and I should minus some minutes for the starting as I started so far away fr the starting point).
Haha, yea, u see my competitive nature even in running. ;p I never was too good in sports, but ever since going to the gym, my stamina has improved a lot, and I do enjoy challenging my own limits in running!

I went to church in the afternoon for lunch & a training on the Banquet of Honour. Its a series of dinners and lunches organized for the migrant workers- Domestic workers and blue collared to honour them and thank them for their service in Singapore. Its organized by churches in Singapore. =) I would be serving, provided I'm not traveling. I'm really looking forward to it. A bit apprehensive about pouring drinks and scooping rice, cos I'm not that good at serving, but I really like that concept of upside down leadership. Of how Jesus Himself was an example of servanthood...when he stooped down and washed His disciples feet.

So anyway I got a partial lift home, thankful for my friend =) For the first sunday in a long while, I actually got home at 3ish. I was so zonked that I slept for 2 hours.....really felt so exhausted and my body is finally letting itself rest and replenish itself a bit. Spent the rest of the evening watching tv.

I watched Jay Chou's movie 不能说的秘密. And it was kinda disturbing..eerie..and sad. Why disturbing? Other then the sudden twist in the middle of the show, I realise for me, it is because the female protagonist died without knowing the truth- that the male protagonist loves her with all his heart.

Hmm. I also watched a korean drama about a traditional family....and the little boy in the show was kinda cute. =) It was cute watching the dynamics between the different generations from great grandson to father to grand father etc.
One particular Conversation went like this
Great grandson (Crying because parents divorced, and mother moved away without telling him): Great Grandpa, it hurts, my heart is in pain
Great Grandpa: Your heart will become stronger, next time when you encounter painful things, it would not hurt so much
So much truth in that- in building resilence and becoming stronger thru pain.

Alright I'm just verbal diarhoeing my day. ;p Off to sleep and another rest day tmr. Thank God..