Rivers in the desert

I've been busy, din go home for dinner except 2 days last week. I suspect that it is not just physical tiredness, but my emotions are feeling the strain of carrying others' emotional baggages, and other than that, my own emotional baggages.
Yes yes, learning to let go, learning to rest in God, and let Him be the one carrying these burdens. Holding on to His promise at the start of this year that He will fill me with His love so that I can administer His love to others.
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A good fren got married yesterday! :) Praise God as the slideshow of their photos was being shown, how He has been with them for the past 6 years of courtship. God has been very good indeed. :) My first attempt in being a "jie mei" was interesting. Babe, I'm so happy for u that u have found the one to spend yr life with.

I am thinking, why it is so difficult to let go, is because I am afraid that I will not find someone who will have the same dream and passion. But I know (and I hope in my heart too) that when I seek His kingdom first about His purposes for me, He will provide.

The thing is a ministry to the broken is often very emotionally exhausting, and having a partner to share with, to pray together with, to minister together with, is something I yearn deeply for. Nevertheless, I should not be seeking it the other way round- aka, seeking the partner first then God's purposes. But rather whatever God has purposed, He will provide. I hope He gives me what I want. Yet I understand that it is only in seeking Him first that all good things come.
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God has been speaking to me of new beginnings, and a blessed future. :) With my new job starting soon in 2 mths time, I've been preparing my heart. Verses have been deposited in my heart about new beginnings, about the hope and future that I have in God. He is, in control. And I give thanks.
18 "Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19

As I prepare for the Breakthrough weekend this coming weekend, my prayer is that God will speak to me afresh, and fill me with His Spirit. As I look back what has taken place since the first one I went to in June 2007 until now, I know He has been good. I went to breakthrough weekend (a 2 day all women retreat at Bintan) last year with a heavy heart, lost and discouraged. Much weary from service as a cgl, and much doubting on whether I can serve Him again. Much lonely from coming to CEFC alone. Grappling with lostness, what was ahead was a patch of darkness.

How God has healed me during the retreat, and now giving me new ministry oppty to serve Him again. This time with brokenness, and more experienced to relate to others (i dun hope to go through again). And yes, His direction for my life has become much more clear now.