And so, Yoyo and Momo reached the middle of the forest. And Yoyo said, come lets depart from here and go our separate routes. Momo protested. She had enjoyed the company of her travel companion. Yoyo affirmed her, though we will be taking separate routes, if we fix our eyes on the star up there, we will reach the same place.
And so one year passed and the next. Momo enjoyed the walk through the forest and once in a while, when she ate a tasty wildberry, she thought in her heart, how nice it would be if I could share this with Yoyo. What kind of berries would he be eating on the other side? Is the scenery as beautiful? There was always the star up there to guide.
Surely, not all was smooth, and there were dark days of missing her travel companion. There were other days when she met other travel companions and it was enjoyable talking to them! Some days, Yoyo completed slipped off her mind! Those were the days when the Star shone so brightly, that she was mesmerized. :) Some days she wanted to shout into the forest, shout atop of the hill in search of her beloved. Yet, she did not because it may distract him from his journey.
Another year has passed. Would she meet him on the route again? If not, other travel companions? If not, the Star comforts still. Yoyo had said, remember, our ultimate destination is not to find each other, it is to find the Star. With that in mind, she braced herself again. Just last week, a lion chased after her while she ran gasping for breath in the dark. The forest appeared extremely dark, except for the still quiet presence of the Star. And it was extremely comforting. The light from the star wrapped the whole forest and shimmers of light reflected from the leaves.
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This has been a tired week, and my brain is frozen! A short story that encapsulates many underlying issues. I'm tired!
In the midst of my tiredness, there is a peace from within. There is a comfort and grace to go through it all.
In all things, giving thanks. :)
Thank u Lord for Fel's life as she shares her testimony in church tmr.
Thank u Lord for Mum as she celebrated her bday today. Thank u for the yummy food.
Thank u Lord for the fund raising in the company.
Thank u Lord when I did not understand how to do the documentation, Ur grace & wisdom was with me.
Thank u Lord for the presentation that went well even though I didn't have time to prepare it.
Thank u Lord in my groggy state of mind for helping me to pull thru this week!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Thanksgiving
Thankful that today is Friday! After a long week of work & challenges, mid-week was really crazy, worked until 830 and 9pm. So was really tired, and had to rely on God's grace to see me through. I've a project that is at its peak this month all the way to Feb, and its pretty stressful cos my boss is going on maternity leave. But yup, grateful for His grace to see me through.
Next week we are also doing our fund raising event during the lunch time. The idea my colleagues and I came up with was to turn a collage of photos (volunteers, elderly etc) into a jigsaw puzzle of 300 pieces. Thankfully another colleague's husband owns a photo developing shop. And yep, it came for free. Everyone who pays $10 gets to pledge a piece of puzzle, i.e. to fit a piece into the jigsaw. :) All donations will go to Habitat for Humanity. Today the publicity posters were completed just in time for the event next week! I get so so so excited planning these comm service events. Yet it is quite a stretching period for me, with the project to handle and planning for this. But it warms my heart indeed. :)
Met up with a couple of colleagues today from the christian fellowship, as we planned out the vision ahead for the second time. We came to a deadlock. But I guess what I liked about it was the grace we gave each other, and the patience. Thankful also for the campus crusade ple who came to facilitate the session. This was the second meeting since the retreat we had on deepavali. One of the things that became quite clear to me was the way God had shaped me, esp at this season, with a deep love for social causes, to see the poor and hurting being healed. It just wells up on the inside of me and fuels me up. I want to see God in the market place as well, and being able to encourage ple in the company. But right now the inclination seems strong towards the social side. This has been on my heart for quite long I think, and I am not sure how it will go.
Praying lots. Sometimes I come to a standstill and seem to be moving ard in circles. Sometimes it seems bleak and I don't know what lies ahead in the future. Yet something tells me God has a firm hold of me, and never lets me go through it all. I'm an emotional gal I know, and so often my feelings fluctuate up and down. But I think these few months it has been slightly better, learning to renew myself in His word.
Expectations. God is teaching me lots of that. Expectations about ple and relationships. So many times had to surrender to God, and to learn to love people with a pure heart. Learning to pray for others, to let God work in their lives. To give space to others to grow and heal. To deal with the emotions of insecurity & fears surfacing on the inside of me. I guess yup, it has been pretty challenging. Learning and growing. :) Oh Lord help me become more like you!
Next week we are also doing our fund raising event during the lunch time. The idea my colleagues and I came up with was to turn a collage of photos (volunteers, elderly etc) into a jigsaw puzzle of 300 pieces. Thankfully another colleague's husband owns a photo developing shop. And yep, it came for free. Everyone who pays $10 gets to pledge a piece of puzzle, i.e. to fit a piece into the jigsaw. :) All donations will go to Habitat for Humanity. Today the publicity posters were completed just in time for the event next week! I get so so so excited planning these comm service events. Yet it is quite a stretching period for me, with the project to handle and planning for this. But it warms my heart indeed. :)
Met up with a couple of colleagues today from the christian fellowship, as we planned out the vision ahead for the second time. We came to a deadlock. But I guess what I liked about it was the grace we gave each other, and the patience. Thankful also for the campus crusade ple who came to facilitate the session. This was the second meeting since the retreat we had on deepavali. One of the things that became quite clear to me was the way God had shaped me, esp at this season, with a deep love for social causes, to see the poor and hurting being healed. It just wells up on the inside of me and fuels me up. I want to see God in the market place as well, and being able to encourage ple in the company. But right now the inclination seems strong towards the social side. This has been on my heart for quite long I think, and I am not sure how it will go.
Praying lots. Sometimes I come to a standstill and seem to be moving ard in circles. Sometimes it seems bleak and I don't know what lies ahead in the future. Yet something tells me God has a firm hold of me, and never lets me go through it all. I'm an emotional gal I know, and so often my feelings fluctuate up and down. But I think these few months it has been slightly better, learning to renew myself in His word.
Expectations. God is teaching me lots of that. Expectations about ple and relationships. So many times had to surrender to God, and to learn to love people with a pure heart. Learning to pray for others, to let God work in their lives. To give space to others to grow and heal. To deal with the emotions of insecurity & fears surfacing on the inside of me. I guess yup, it has been pretty challenging. Learning and growing. :) Oh Lord help me become more like you!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The secret of the gapping hole
I'm having a long weekend cos Thurs was a public holiday, and yesterday I took a day off. Unfortunately I still have to finish up some work, and will be going back to office later in the afternoon too. I try not to get too bogged down by work demands, but it has been lingering in my mind for almost the whole of yesterday after a certain incident on Thursday. This lingering feeling of dullness and heaviness is no good.
Re-read a sms sent by Aunty M to me a mth back or so, she encouraged me by saying, give grace, because God has given much grace, and that I am the fragrance of Christ wherever I go. :) I hope I smell good, seriously wherever I go that I may bring Christ with me.
One of the persons I need to give grace to is myself. All along I've always been pushing myself very hard, and I don't like to fail. One of the things God showed me yesterday while I was praying- how expectations of others have consumed me. To be a loving daughter and a successful career woman. More ways than one, I've failed in those roles. Oh but yet I am not defined by these two. I know that I love my parents deeply, in spite of how we struggle to align our perspectives. I know I don't want to be a career woman, but a godly woman. I know I am more interested in social causes than business causes. Coming to an acceptance of oneself, to enjoy oneself and to give grace to oneself.
I've met many ple over the past few years, and many who struggle with self esteem because of the rejection of self. My dear brother and sister reading this, may you know that you are uniquely created in Christ, and there is no second you. Don't allow yourself to be defined by others or yr expectations of yrself, for the Father knows what is good, you just have to come before Him to be yrself.
There's this gapping hole in the heart that seeks to be filled, to be known, to be understood, to be significant. We all find significance in different places. If only we know that this gapping hole is not filled up by any man or woman, but only Christ can provide us with the rivers of living waters, which when one drinks, will never thirst again.
Re-read a sms sent by Aunty M to me a mth back or so, she encouraged me by saying, give grace, because God has given much grace, and that I am the fragrance of Christ wherever I go. :) I hope I smell good, seriously wherever I go that I may bring Christ with me.
One of the persons I need to give grace to is myself. All along I've always been pushing myself very hard, and I don't like to fail. One of the things God showed me yesterday while I was praying- how expectations of others have consumed me. To be a loving daughter and a successful career woman. More ways than one, I've failed in those roles. Oh but yet I am not defined by these two. I know that I love my parents deeply, in spite of how we struggle to align our perspectives. I know I don't want to be a career woman, but a godly woman. I know I am more interested in social causes than business causes. Coming to an acceptance of oneself, to enjoy oneself and to give grace to oneself.
I've met many ple over the past few years, and many who struggle with self esteem because of the rejection of self. My dear brother and sister reading this, may you know that you are uniquely created in Christ, and there is no second you. Don't allow yourself to be defined by others or yr expectations of yrself, for the Father knows what is good, you just have to come before Him to be yrself.
There's this gapping hole in the heart that seeks to be filled, to be known, to be understood, to be significant. We all find significance in different places. If only we know that this gapping hole is not filled up by any man or woman, but only Christ can provide us with the rivers of living waters, which when one drinks, will never thirst again.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Random
Its late on friday night and I am as usual thankful for the quietness and peace and rest. :)
Had a nice dinner with Felicia @ one of my favourite places - Food for thought. I like the concept of this restaurant. :)
Heh. Me and Fel! I feel so old besides her!
Thanking God for this friendship & mentoring relationship. I've been very blessed to share my life with you felicia! :) I will miss u when u are at Australia.
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Work has been okay this week, not that busy, though the stress level still up. In the space of time, as I am stuck at the computer typing my reports/ reading emails, the mind wanders, and the desires of my heart I have to continuously surrender to God. Really have no idea of what the future holds, sometimes, it is as if time has suspended, and I am hanging loosely in the air. Yet, I know I am not hanging, but resting in the palms of the Father. Oh dear Lord, help me know that You are near, in the uncertain roads ahead, to know that Yr light shines brightly still. :)
One of the questions I have been asking God, what is the meaning of life? What is that elusive purpose that everyone is seeking for? Is it love, significance, possession, status? Will those satisfy the gapping hole in our hearts? I think that humans were created for relationship, to love others, and to be loved back in return. This understanding that we have with each other empowers us to move forward. Indeed love can tide us over the toughest of circumstances.
Who is the source of love?
---------------------------------------
Had lunch with A today from Campus Crusade! Quite interestingly, we discussed about some issues in the bible. Its scary how the same verses can have so many interpretations. Thankful for some insights about Acts. Though I still don't fully agree or understand everything.
And now it is time for sleeping. :) God bless my dearest friends with yr peace & love.
Had a nice dinner with Felicia @ one of my favourite places - Food for thought. I like the concept of this restaurant. :)
Heh. Me and Fel! I feel so old besides her!
Thanking God for this friendship & mentoring relationship. I've been very blessed to share my life with you felicia! :) I will miss u when u are at Australia.
--------------------------------------
Work has been okay this week, not that busy, though the stress level still up. In the space of time, as I am stuck at the computer typing my reports/ reading emails, the mind wanders, and the desires of my heart I have to continuously surrender to God. Really have no idea of what the future holds, sometimes, it is as if time has suspended, and I am hanging loosely in the air. Yet, I know I am not hanging, but resting in the palms of the Father. Oh dear Lord, help me know that You are near, in the uncertain roads ahead, to know that Yr light shines brightly still. :)
One of the questions I have been asking God, what is the meaning of life? What is that elusive purpose that everyone is seeking for? Is it love, significance, possession, status? Will those satisfy the gapping hole in our hearts? I think that humans were created for relationship, to love others, and to be loved back in return. This understanding that we have with each other empowers us to move forward. Indeed love can tide us over the toughest of circumstances.
Who is the source of love?
---------------------------------------
Had lunch with A today from Campus Crusade! Quite interestingly, we discussed about some issues in the bible. Its scary how the same verses can have so many interpretations. Thankful for some insights about Acts. Though I still don't fully agree or understand everything.
And now it is time for sleeping. :) God bless my dearest friends with yr peace & love.
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