Monday, May 25, 2009

I can reach the heavens above (part 2)

I have started taking an interest in photography. It was a gradual thing, as I enjoyed photo taking previously, but I think it built up one year ago as I got my own Canon IXUS (the colours really turn out nice, even if I use auto mode, and don't do any special setting. Not like I know how to do much special settings. ;) )
And secondly, because I travel so much, I try to take as many photos as possible to capture the essence of the feelings I get looking at the people and scenery.

I love taking the blue sky, white clouds, hills, mountains, lakes, children, and recently flowers. As much as possible, freeze that moment and bring it home, sigh, though a picture speaks a thousand words, yet it cannot totally bring back that moment.

Told a friend before, that sometimes, when I am looking at a beautiful sunset, I wished I had someone to share it with. I think it is the same for photos. Being able to share it with friends, or the stories behind the photos truly doubles the joy. So here are a few selections of the photos in Bohol, from my collection. ENJOY! =) (Click on the photos to see a bigger and expanded version)

I'm thinking of going for a course to learn more about photography. And someday, maybe I will get a SLR camera! If you know of any good part time courses, let me know!

































Sunday, May 24, 2009

I can reach the heavens above (part 1)

I got back last night from Bohol! I had a very blessed trip. Even though I have been going to villages and rural areas for missions trips and work before, but this time it was different, because I was going as a sponsor with World Vision!

These are some of the things to give thanks for:

1. Empowerment of women and children
I left the place feeling encouraged, because I didn't feel like the people I met were pitiful or poor. They were empowered individuals. I met many of the community leaders who World Vision is training up to be leaders, and these are the people on the ground running the programmes and the projects. Many of these are volunteers, and they belong to the community receiving help.

Everyone I met had dignity in their eyes, and I know that after I leave and after World Vision leaves, development will continue there.

2. Hidden treasures within the children & youths
We met some of the "child leaders" as they call them. They hosted the programmes, sang for us, held the children's programmes. And I was touched at one point when these two youths sang this song titled "I Can". Part of the lyrics went like this:

I can live, I can love
I can reach the heavens above
I can right what is wrong
I can sing just any song
I can dance, I can fly
And touch the rainbow in the sky







The youth leader shared, that they are so blessed, of all the barangay (something like village), World Vision chose them. It touched my heart, that a sum of 45 dollar a month contribution meant so much to them. Call the contribution small, compared to how much we have in Singapore. But it made such an impact in their lives.

I was touched by the meaning behind the donation. That it meant more than an act of kindness. It meant seeds of hope for those in remote places/villages/forests. It meant helping to release the poor into their destiny. It meant empowerment. It meant releasing them to fulfill their potential. And of all places, God would choose to go to remote places to seek and find that which is lost.
If more people could be convicted that their 45 dollars meant so much, wouldn't we do much more?













3. Because God first loved
I know that my gift is small, and I can only love because God first loved me. It is not a coincidence, but each sponsor and child, God divinely matchmade together because He knows our needs and desires at different seasons in our lives.
I was encouraged that my love meant something when the people stood up to give us keychains and bracelets. I embraced this old lady -community leader who gave me my gift. I cried. Cos I felt so loved and appreciated, and the thankfulness that they expressed towards us. I know we blessed them by our presence and they had blessed us so much too with the genuinity of their hearts. I felt like saying, thank God, not me, because we did nothing. He is the source of love. At that moment, I felt God's deep sense of love. Love for the lost, the litle children.

4. It has come full circle
One of the child leaders - a 16 year old youth, gave me a white coloured rosary, which he said was something that meant a lot to him. And that he prayed that God will protect me, and I should hold the rosary in my hand because God will protect me.
It stirred up memories of the brown rosary - same design and all, given by my domestic helper, who shared Christ with me when I was 6 or 7 years old. I would put the rosary in my hand before I slept, dutifully, every night. I think it went on for a few years. Even though I was a child, and not a church goer back then, I prayed to God. And I believe that this full circle back, God reminded me that He was with me, from the very beginning. And He already knew what was ahead.


5. Surrender....
Surrendered to God. Some of the desires I still had. The difficulties I faced. The seemingly tough and lonely untreaded road ahead. And even though it is difficult, the reminder of the Father's love. The Father who unceasingly reaches out to everyone in the World, young and old, far and near, city and rural, rich or poor. The God who holds all things in His hands.

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Lastly, I pray that you would consider sponsoring a child. 45 dollars may mean nothing to you, or just a little pinch, or a little less savings in your bank, or 2-3 less meals at restaurants. But it means a world of a difference to a child. (Even at the risk of sounding very cliche, but I really never knew what it meant, until I went on this trip)

http://www.worldvision.org.sg/st_sponsorchild.php

Some photos and videos to follow...videos are taking super long to upload!! Grr.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Greetings from Bohol!

Greetings from Bohol, Philippines! =) Using internet in the hotel.
Couldn't resist checking my email, and yup, as suspected, my inbox is flooded. Ignore! **

Seeing my kid tmr...
Meanwhile, it has been a good rest so far, and reflecting abt stuff.

Back on Saturday evening.

Blessings

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

We can do no great things, only small things with great love - Mother Teresa

As I was preparing a presentation for some polytechnic students today, this quote by Mother Teresa came to my mind:
We can do no great things, only small things with great love

One of the reasons why I feel more rested now, is because I have started adopting this philosophy unknowingly.

When I first got into NGO work, I was upset because the vision/mission varied so far from reality. And I looked to others to give me answers, especially my bosses.
The ground is very hard. There's stress from all ends, sometimes there is a tension between meeting the needs of the employees, the beneficiaries, the trippers, the volunteers etc.

So I got pretty stressed up and upset over these things.

As time passed, I realised the limitations of everyone, and bosses don't have all the answers. Thankful that I am finally able to accept some grey areas. And yeah, I celebrated my one year anniversary in non profit work on the 2 of May! =) Clap Clap..

I wonder how many years there are to come. But I am really starting to find that I am getting paid for something I really like to do. Increasingly, as I understand things better, I am convicted that lifeskills and literacy skills matter a lot, and even though it is so hard to find resources to support the training, what we have right now is really good, and we need to continue to work on it.

Seeing things in small pieces, and looking to the vision which may be fulfilled in a few years times really help. I wish the vision can be fulfilled the next day, and all the systems/processes/syllabus/programmes/committees are all set in place. But that really takes a lot of time, effort, hardwork, and prayer to work.

Though I still meet nasty and weird people. Should try and ignore them...

I am so humbled, and am starting to pray more for each project.

And today, I got to share about our work with some psychology and community service students! Its the second time I got to interact directly with students, and not through a teacher. I enjoyed seeing their interested and inquisitve faces a lot, absorbing what I had to share. =)

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I'm going to Philippines on Sunday (17/5) to Sat (23/5). I got some chocs & souvenirs for the family, and a jacket and a Mighty Warrior children's bible for my kid (sponsored through world vision)! =) I felt so happy carrying the big bags of gifts home. Its such a blessing to be able to give to others! This may be the only time I get to meet my kid, Buboy in my lifetime, so yup, giving him the best. Hope that its not too extravagant.




Here's a pict of the cool jacket and bible and misc gifts. I really found the jacket super cool! But then I realise that it is for kids 1.50 m tall (12 years old), but when I got home to check, my kid was only 1.22m tall 2 years ago. I hope he can fit into it now that he is 11 years old.






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It feels a bit strange to be not worried by something...O well. Actually the stress level is still there. But yup, thankful for lots of things and looking forward to traveling!!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

It's making sense

Things have been great, felt refreshed and strengthed by the Breakthrough weekend at Johor over the last weekend.
New things are happening at work, there's a new atmosphere of lightness and cohesiveness.
On the home front, parents went overseas, so sis and I have the house to ourselves! It has been more bz doing housework and all, but also a good time of being by ourselves.

Overall, everything has been good. And my spirits have been really uplifted. My mind has been cleared...and I am rethinking about life again. Those desires on the inside arising again, the passion for life....

Looking back at all that happened, and it all makes sense now. :) Why I had to go through certain things, how certain events shaped me...and what I am perhaps created to do.

For now, one step at a time.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Rest =0

I'm at home today. Off in lieu for my work trip over Sunday. =) Sent out a few urgent emails just now, and there's still things to do. But decided to just rest at home and do stuff with myself today. Yay!!!! Might make a trip to the beach later... Or get a hair cut...or go to the bank....

Slept lots yesterday too, and went to the gym for a good workout....

Looking forward to tmr's Breakthrough Weekend at Pulai Springs in Johor. All the way until Saturday.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Before the world rushes in again...

...I want to stop and say I love You


Before the day
by Newsong

Last night while I was sleeping, You were watching over me
While I dreamt about tomorrow, You knew my every need

Now another day is waiting, For me to make it through
And there is no way that I can face it without You

CHORUS
Before the day slips away, I want to stop and say I love You, I love You
Before the world rushes in again
I want to stop and say, There is none above You
There is none above You
I just be still and know that you are God, Be still and know that you are God

There is something about the morning, The stillness of it all
That cause my heart to hear You, When You gently call
Now another day is waiting, For me to make it through
There is no way that I can face it without You

Here I am in your presence, Where I long to be
Alone with you in the silence
Rain down your love and your mercy, Whisper softly to me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNt_4JE992s

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Flying and flying around..

Its crazy that things are just starting to build up and get busy, as events run back to back.
For these 2 days, I am helping out at a conference organized by Greenleaf Asia, which is GB's social enterprise arm. And we have to reach Orchid Country Club at Yishun by 730am! Its rather stressful as I am in charged of ushering, but thank God for the provision of someone experienced to advice me...

2 days back in office on Thur and Fri to clear emails, since I'm away from office, and Sat night I am flying to Jakarta with my boss for an urgent meeting. Back on Sunday night.

Wednesday I am going to Breakthrough weekend - a church camp, at Johor. And back on the next Saturday (2/5). And then on 3/5 I may need to go to Cambodia, to bring a partner there.
Yeah, and on the 17/5 I will be at Philippines to visit my sponsored kid with World Vision. =)

Heh....I kinda feel stressed looking at the schedule, I feel its like super hectic. But strangely it gives me a very weird adrenaline rush. Like...I actually feel quite happy to be going different places, doing different things, meeting different people.

These 2 days of conference....tho, has taken up some of my Monday off days for planning, has been some sort of a good time off away from my desk, to meet new people, esp the Greenleaf volunteers.

I've been meeting a lot of godly and more elderly women...and have to overcome my fear of dealing with authority figures, esp strong women figures...

Couldn't sleep last night....maybe slept about 3 hrs....as my brain was functioning at high speed at night.

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Maybe...there's not much time to process too much. But I managed to jot these thoughts down a few days ago in my journal.

Love is not merely the happy feeling of seeing someone. It is not just the chemistry. It is not just that romantic feeling of having someone say sweet things. It is not that mad rush to be together. It is not just that desire to hold someone.
It is that plus...getting to know someone as a friend. It is thinking with the head, observing if the person is worthy of opening up one's heart to. It is observing one in the group context, the integrity and the constancy of a person. And...if things still hold after a lifetime.......maybe we can consider love
.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

When I run, I feel His pleasure

I have been going to the gym, trying to go about twice a week. When I first signed up for the gym, I wanted to join the cardio step board and pilates classes, cos I attended the lunch time classes back in GIC. And the rates were pretty reasonable. Then I started running on the threadmill, and with much encouragement from the trainer, I improved on my distance and timings.

Running 10 min or even 2km was pretty painful at the start. But now I am running the minimum of 2km, and sometimes up to 20 min and 3km. =) The speed keeps improving, and I am actually starting to enjoy it! As I run, I pray, and I clear my thoughts. It makes me feel very happy to have this personal time. And I think running has taught me many things about perseverance. ;p

Told someone that going to the gym, makes me feel I'm in control, while rest of my life are not in control.

In control...as I see the timings improving, my legs getting thinner, and the muscles building on my arms and shoulders.

Out of control...cos I am not able to control how people treat me, the circumstances that happen, the external stressors...

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But are other things really not within my control? I've been reading books on boundary setting, the need for separation and attachment with people. The books say that when we fail to set boundaries, sometimes we blame others for our pain, and we think we are victims who are not in control. On the contrary, we can learn to say no to others. I've taken some steps to say no at certain times, and even though I feel a tinge of guilt, I know that these are good steps to take. There is actually healthy withdrawal! That helps us to love others better. =)

P/S. I actually thought of this quote by Eric Liddell "When I run, I feel His pleasure", who was an olympics runner and missionary.

In a lot of ways.."running" can be applied to other gifts and inclinations that God has given to us. We feel pleasure when we do what we were gifted to do.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

下一个天亮

Heh,
I watched Campus Superstar the whole night today with my mum. It was kinda fun watching it with her and making remarks abt the contestants.

One of the songs really touched my heart. I think Jarrod really performed it very well. And it brought out the meaning behind the song.

Got me really emo...
As I have been having flash backs and memories of the past. Some of the memories are really lovely and sweet. And today I fished out a card from my wallet that I didn't even realise was there, written to me by someone who loved me.

And then I realise that during different seasons in my life, there were special people who understood me, and stood by me. And somehow, some of them left my life and moved on. But that doesn't negate the happy memories of the past. ;p And how these ones have been there for me at those difficult moments, holding my hand, or giving me a shoulder to cry on, or writing me a card to encourage me.

Guess I really liked the hope & positivity in the song too. Cos, there will definitely be a dawn the next day. =)

Okay I guess I am extrapolating some stuff that are not really from the song. But things I have been thinking about anyway.

I am waiting for the next Dawn....

郭静 - 下一个天亮

用起伏的背影 挡住哭泣的心
有些故事 不必说给 每个人听
许多眼睛 看的太浅太近
错过我没被看见 那个自己

用简单的言语 解开超载的心
有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听
你的热泪 比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力 更有勇气

等下一个天亮
去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂

等下一个天亮
把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

时间可以磨去我的棱角
有些坚持却永远磨不掉
请容许我 小小的骄傲
因为有你这样的依靠