Life has been busy!! Saturday I had three meetings in a row, starting from 9am and ending at 7pm. I've been averaging 5-6 hrs daily. And I am so exhausted. Even on sundays, I have to wake up at 730am now for church, since service now starts at 10am, and its at Woodlands!
Glad for last night's time for dinner and meaningful conversation, I was so blessed that Ed managed to show me things that I didn't realise abt myself and about God.
This afternoon it was lunch with DG mates, then my favourite step boarding class at the gym. And then tmr is my off day, and I realise that Wed there is a public holiday hurrah!
Exciting things are happening at work, but also terribly challenging. I'm still passionate abt it though. And I told my fren today, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else now, or I can't think of anywhere else that I rather be. Cos in spite of the challenge, there's this underlying motivation underneath. And yup....thinking of women getting trained in livelihood skills, children getting taught....expanding into different parts of Asia, makes my heart leap for joy. Pray for me...again, I am not embarrassed abt asking for prayer, bcos prayer must be the anchor to everything that we do, and resources are tight in every aspect, the work can't be accomplished if I just look at the physical realm. And together with progress comes spiritual warfare too.
I'm learning efficacy, not efficiency. Becoming more and more Covenantal in thinking. I realise it applies a lot to my job. Cos there's time limited issues that must be resolved, so being the Type A person that I am, I feel very anxious....really worried about things. But then I also realise that some things are not abt being efficient at all, but trusting in God's timing.
At a meeting on thur nite, my boss very joyfully and excitedly said that serving God was easy, bcos it was God who put all things together. There was so much joy when she said that. I cld sense this "knowingness" she had with God. I felt a mixture of feelings at the same time. Really, just longing for the same sense of knowingness and intimacy with God, that I may say with JOY, nothing to worry about anything, GOD is sovereign and in control. But daily....it is a taking up of the cross daily, to cruxify the thoughts that are not life-giving. To give thanks in all. And gratitude, is the antidote to negativity. =)
So yah...hope that my inner life with God will continue to grow. Hope to know His love that casts out all fears, to know the depths, the heights of His love.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Trusting in God's hands
I'm feeling the stress at work as the coming week and Oct looks busy. =p Just confirmed I will be flying to Indonesia for 2 trips during the mth, and I am excited! But at the same time there is so much to plan, esp for one of the trips. And the daily coordination work for the teams going to Cambodia fr Oct to Dec remains, well I also must figure out how to ship 25 monitors and CPUs to Cambodia as they don't have boxes (anyone has lobang to ship computers). And then to not be reactionary and plan long term processes and workflows....I'm stressed, and have dreamt about work a few times already.
And....the signs...I'm doing work on my off days, over my home PC. Thinking abt work in my mind and planning stuffs.
Though, today's reading of Isaiah was so appropriate. Abt quietness and rest, trusting in God, and not in the strength of horses or armies.
Dear God, help me not to take things in my own hands, but to trust and rest in You.
Do pray for me! =)I need it.
Was encouraged during the service on Sunday. When leadership was defined. I was glad that it was about knowing "I can't, but God can", and accepting responsibility for God's calling. Realise I'm a very unwilling leader, but all it takes, God seemed to be asking was- Are u willing? Its a paradox that restedness does not come from avoiding responsibility, but it comes from acceptance of it, and knowing that it is God who has called and He will accomplish His plans.
And....the signs...I'm doing work on my off days, over my home PC. Thinking abt work in my mind and planning stuffs.
Though, today's reading of Isaiah was so appropriate. Abt quietness and rest, trusting in God, and not in the strength of horses or armies.
Dear God, help me not to take things in my own hands, but to trust and rest in You.
Do pray for me! =)I need it.
Was encouraged during the service on Sunday. When leadership was defined. I was glad that it was about knowing "I can't, but God can", and accepting responsibility for God's calling. Realise I'm a very unwilling leader, but all it takes, God seemed to be asking was- Are u willing? Its a paradox that restedness does not come from avoiding responsibility, but it comes from acceptance of it, and knowing that it is God who has called and He will accomplish His plans.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Restedness
I'm supposed to be studying for my IDT test tonight- bible memory verses and other concepts, but I ended up watching TV, and then went to hunt for treasures on my Facebook Fluff pets. =] Tmr I am on leave! Giving myself a short break, plus going to study for test.
My heart has reached a restful state. I can say it is at peace. And there are even feelings of thankfulness and silent joys on the inside. Daily I am understanding God's love. Its a very precious season of restfulness in Him, and knowing how much He loves me. I find that these days there never fails to be silver linings in the cloud, such that if I feel bad about something, almost always someone will encourage me, or something will make me feel thankful. =P Maybe I didn't notice that in the past...but these days I do feel thankful.
I've started reading C.S. Lewis's Four Loves. Prior to this, I was reading another book on friendships and relationships. It is pretty enlightening defining the different kinds of love I must say. Though in the past, I kind of just lumped them all together. And even more enlightening to know of the vast LOVE of God. C.S. Lewis in his introduction said that as humans, we definitely feel some form of "need-love" towards God, instead of "gift-love". That's so true, because no matter how we try to be noble about our love towards God, ultimately, we are recipients of His gracious love.
In last sunday's sermon, I enjoyed Pastor Kay Kiong's expounding of 2 Corinthians, whereby he talked about God gives the most of all. Its only when we are receipients of God's love that we can give of God's love. He shared a story of this mynmar missionary who lived on US$35 a month, and yet he adopted 4 kids with his wife. U know...christians who demonstrate this kind of love...the only reason they can do it, is because they have experienced the grace of God, and have understood (really understood and received in their hearts) the love of God. And ultimately realise that it is God who has given the most of all. Yah, and ofcos God's work will never lack God's supplies if we do it in His way.
I'm starting to enjoy work as well. Today we had a prayer meeting, and one of the experienced staff who quit, and came back to help out, prayed a very long prayer for our ministry and the poeple and all that. As she prayed, I felt the presence of God strongly in the place. I was encouraged by the depth of her prayer and I can tell in order to have this kind of prayer, she must have spent time with God in her own prayer closet on a consistent basis. I pray that I may carry God's presence into my work place as well, and carry it to the places where I go, carry it to the volunteers who I meet and speak to. Its sweet that not just one person, but a few persons prayed for me abt my job, edified me in one way or another....so even though it is not a very easy journey, I am assured He is with me, and I'm growing on the inside.
Yah...i pray i may bask in His love, and truly understand, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Eph 3:17-19
I pray this for the ones I love, for my dear frens. And for myself.
My heart has reached a restful state. I can say it is at peace. And there are even feelings of thankfulness and silent joys on the inside. Daily I am understanding God's love. Its a very precious season of restfulness in Him, and knowing how much He loves me. I find that these days there never fails to be silver linings in the cloud, such that if I feel bad about something, almost always someone will encourage me, or something will make me feel thankful. =P Maybe I didn't notice that in the past...but these days I do feel thankful.
I've started reading C.S. Lewis's Four Loves. Prior to this, I was reading another book on friendships and relationships. It is pretty enlightening defining the different kinds of love I must say. Though in the past, I kind of just lumped them all together. And even more enlightening to know of the vast LOVE of God. C.S. Lewis in his introduction said that as humans, we definitely feel some form of "need-love" towards God, instead of "gift-love". That's so true, because no matter how we try to be noble about our love towards God, ultimately, we are recipients of His gracious love.
In last sunday's sermon, I enjoyed Pastor Kay Kiong's expounding of 2 Corinthians, whereby he talked about God gives the most of all. Its only when we are receipients of God's love that we can give of God's love. He shared a story of this mynmar missionary who lived on US$35 a month, and yet he adopted 4 kids with his wife. U know...christians who demonstrate this kind of love...the only reason they can do it, is because they have experienced the grace of God, and have understood (really understood and received in their hearts) the love of God. And ultimately realise that it is God who has given the most of all. Yah, and ofcos God's work will never lack God's supplies if we do it in His way.
I'm starting to enjoy work as well. Today we had a prayer meeting, and one of the experienced staff who quit, and came back to help out, prayed a very long prayer for our ministry and the poeple and all that. As she prayed, I felt the presence of God strongly in the place. I was encouraged by the depth of her prayer and I can tell in order to have this kind of prayer, she must have spent time with God in her own prayer closet on a consistent basis. I pray that I may carry God's presence into my work place as well, and carry it to the places where I go, carry it to the volunteers who I meet and speak to. Its sweet that not just one person, but a few persons prayed for me abt my job, edified me in one way or another....so even though it is not a very easy journey, I am assured He is with me, and I'm growing on the inside.
Yah...i pray i may bask in His love, and truly understand, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Eph 3:17-19
I pray this for the ones I love, for my dear frens. And for myself.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thankfulness
Met up with some youths (and the slighly less youthful but still younger than me :) ) from my ex-cell grp yesterday. =D
We had Popeye Chicken at the airport.
Thankful for the happy fellowship we had. Of being able to enjoy each other's company!
I miss them so much. Miss hanging out with them and sharing about Christ together.
Good to see how each one has grown! And to reflect upon what has passed. At one point of sharing, I felt Jesus in our midst.
Came home and after i had settled down with my bible and Camomile tea, heard noises below at the door. Went down to survey the door but saw nothing. And then suddenly I had this thankful feeling that everyone was safe at home. And became thankful that I was blessed in my comfortable home. So many things to be thankful about but I've been like complaining and whinning about stuffs!
There was this fear that shrouded my room. I was not sure why either. But prayed through, sang songs and quoted scriptures until it became more peaceful. These days spiritual warfare seems to be quite strong. But that only shows that I am helping to advance God's Kingdom. Praying for protection against fear and anxiety, and a deep sense of His abiding presence. =)
I've been blogging a bit more than usual this week. Thankful in a way...that I can articulate what I think again...
We had Popeye Chicken at the airport.
Thankful for the happy fellowship we had. Of being able to enjoy each other's company!
I miss them so much. Miss hanging out with them and sharing about Christ together.
Good to see how each one has grown! And to reflect upon what has passed. At one point of sharing, I felt Jesus in our midst.
Came home and after i had settled down with my bible and Camomile tea, heard noises below at the door. Went down to survey the door but saw nothing. And then suddenly I had this thankful feeling that everyone was safe at home. And became thankful that I was blessed in my comfortable home. So many things to be thankful about but I've been like complaining and whinning about stuffs!
There was this fear that shrouded my room. I was not sure why either. But prayed through, sang songs and quoted scriptures until it became more peaceful. These days spiritual warfare seems to be quite strong. But that only shows that I am helping to advance God's Kingdom. Praying for protection against fear and anxiety, and a deep sense of His abiding presence. =)
I've been blogging a bit more than usual this week. Thankful in a way...that I can articulate what I think again...
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
What I really hope..
It's simply mind boggling thinking of how to fit 16 teams into our schedule within 3 months in Oct to Dec.
Different teams with different agendas- but mainly, to expose the young girls/youths to poverty and the world out there beyond their comfort zones. =P
We will acheive this objective well-enough. I really hope that it doesn't just expose them to poverty, but that they will have time to reflect and apply what they have learnt when they come back.
I wish that I could conduct training for them. If I knew how to do so...
Sometimes I wonder if their "children" programme really helps the children. I really hope we meet some needs of the people there.
I hope what is being done matters...even if it is picking up one starfish at a time from the shore.
-------------
Didn't sleep very well last night, woke up intermittently. Like at 4am....5am....6am...and then it was time to wake up for work! :P
I'm feeling the stress at work. Partly cos I have high expectations. But partly cos there are all sorts of structures that need to be put in place. One job that does admin, accounting, PR, communications, coordinations. ;p
Passion....pure passion drives me...
I wished sometimes tho, that I were the one going for the community service trip. I kind of miss being there with the children and the youths....
I wished sometimes I were leading the youths going there...so I can do some reflections and sharings with them. ;p
Sometimes I wish to be just dreaming by the beach......sleeping....drinking my Camomile tea and reading my good book...
Sometimes...I wanna be the super hero...slaying the giants and killing the evil ones. Let justice and peace reign. Yeah. =)
In all of the times, prayer is the thing that moves mountains, that fights the battles...that are won not by horses and strong armies, but won by the Spirit of God. ;p
Different teams with different agendas- but mainly, to expose the young girls/youths to poverty and the world out there beyond their comfort zones. =P
We will acheive this objective well-enough. I really hope that it doesn't just expose them to poverty, but that they will have time to reflect and apply what they have learnt when they come back.
I wish that I could conduct training for them. If I knew how to do so...
Sometimes I wonder if their "children" programme really helps the children. I really hope we meet some needs of the people there.
I hope what is being done matters...even if it is picking up one starfish at a time from the shore.
-------------
Didn't sleep very well last night, woke up intermittently. Like at 4am....5am....6am...and then it was time to wake up for work! :P
I'm feeling the stress at work. Partly cos I have high expectations. But partly cos there are all sorts of structures that need to be put in place. One job that does admin, accounting, PR, communications, coordinations. ;p
Passion....pure passion drives me...
I wished sometimes tho, that I were the one going for the community service trip. I kind of miss being there with the children and the youths....
I wished sometimes I were leading the youths going there...so I can do some reflections and sharings with them. ;p
Sometimes I wish to be just dreaming by the beach......sleeping....drinking my Camomile tea and reading my good book...
Sometimes...I wanna be the super hero...slaying the giants and killing the evil ones. Let justice and peace reign. Yeah. =)
In all of the times, prayer is the thing that moves mountains, that fights the battles...that are won not by horses and strong armies, but won by the Spirit of God. ;p
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Fulfilling a destiny
I watched one of the most wonderful movies yesterday night- Kung Fu Panda. Guess where? Yup, we watched it at the Leaders Empowerment session in church.
There were so much life lessons to learn from it. Even biblical lessons. I felt God spoke to me in a very personal way thru the movie.
Po- a fat panda who dreams to be a Kung Fu master, sells noodles in a shop with his dad. He knows nuts abt Kungfu, but somehow Master Wu Gui chose him to be the KungFu master. Shifu- a mouse with powerful Kung Fu skills, was tasked to train Po, so that he could fight Tai Lung- an ambitious leopard. Shifu and everyone else thought Wu Gui was crazy to choose the fat panda. When Master Wu Gui was telling Shifu to believe in Po- that he had a destiny to be the Kung Fu master, and only Po could defeat Tai Lung. Distinctly, God whispered to me "I believe in you". I was touched because in the end, Po did defeat Tai Lung, by being himself- whatever he was wired to be at the start -chopsticks, food, and woks-and most of all, he was certain of his identity as Kung Fu master.
Really, at the end of the day, it is not abt our own strengths, but it is about our calling in God. Whatever God has called, He will fulfill. If only we knew our identity in Him.
Crazy busy and tiring week prior to this movie. But a series of divine meetings and words from different ones, affirmed God's calling for me at this time. Met my own "Master Wu Gui"s in the office...people who believe in me. And actually at the end of the day, whether people believe in me pales much in comparison, to the Great God who believes in me, who sees the potential within me. Even in those days when I feel like a clumsy fat panda.....He sees something more. I don't have to be anyone else but me. Thank U Lord.
There were so much life lessons to learn from it. Even biblical lessons. I felt God spoke to me in a very personal way thru the movie.
Po- a fat panda who dreams to be a Kung Fu master, sells noodles in a shop with his dad. He knows nuts abt Kungfu, but somehow Master Wu Gui chose him to be the KungFu master. Shifu- a mouse with powerful Kung Fu skills, was tasked to train Po, so that he could fight Tai Lung- an ambitious leopard. Shifu and everyone else thought Wu Gui was crazy to choose the fat panda. When Master Wu Gui was telling Shifu to believe in Po- that he had a destiny to be the Kung Fu master, and only Po could defeat Tai Lung. Distinctly, God whispered to me "I believe in you". I was touched because in the end, Po did defeat Tai Lung, by being himself- whatever he was wired to be at the start -chopsticks, food, and woks-and most of all, he was certain of his identity as Kung Fu master.
Really, at the end of the day, it is not abt our own strengths, but it is about our calling in God. Whatever God has called, He will fulfill. If only we knew our identity in Him.
Crazy busy and tiring week prior to this movie. But a series of divine meetings and words from different ones, affirmed God's calling for me at this time. Met my own "Master Wu Gui"s in the office...people who believe in me. And actually at the end of the day, whether people believe in me pales much in comparison, to the Great God who believes in me, who sees the potential within me. Even in those days when I feel like a clumsy fat panda.....He sees something more. I don't have to be anyone else but me. Thank U Lord.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Bday reflections
It was a nice day yesterday, had lunch with a group of friends from church at Fish and Co for my bday, and they treated me for lunch, as well as got me a slice of cake! Was glad Diana and Shar came to join us. So it was a juxtapose of old and new church frens. Then they sang me bday song as well. After tat I went to the gym. And then before long it was dinner time, at Holiday Inn buffet with my family and relatives. =) I introduced Camomile tea to my parents, and my dad kind of liked it! When I got home, realised the souvenir cum bday present tat Diana had bought me was a pack of Honey Vanila Camomile tea. So happy for the thoughtful gift, just when I was thinking of Camomile tea! Spent time talking with Ed and praying, as usual was grateful for the insights.
And today, I went back to GIC to meet up with my ex colleagues. I miss their company so much. Met my ex boss who said, U must come back more often. :) I met up w HY who baked me a cake and got me a World Vision T-shirt. Always got a soft spot for WV, and the cake was sweet in my mouth. Had good chat with Des over dinner as well. So all in, it has been a good time of meeting with people.
Yup. I am thankful for life's various pleasures that I get to enjoy. Camomile tea is one of them! But yup, I've tasted Jap, French, Korean, Chinese, Western (and more) Cusine in lovely settings. I have a gym club membership. I stay in a nice house. What more do I want? (World peace would be good =) )
Ever since working in my new job, it became clearer to me than ever that I was a very pampered gal. Always had everything provided for by my parents. However in my new job, I am required to be sharp and quick and resourceful. This baffles me many times, and I feel so inadequate. Pray for God's grace and strength to do things beyond what I can do.
Yup...and I'm finding myself getting tired more and more often. Part of it has to do with negative self talk that depletes my energy. But then another part of me wonders if it is time to drop anything, bcos Pstor Ed says that if u are overloaded, u cannot build deep. And its true. I wish that I could spend more time on building deeper friendships with some people, impacting lives in a deeper manner. And other than that also have time for good books and lots of reflection time with God.
After all the hussle and bussle of activities, what I really long for is a deep fellowship with God. To read my book and be quiet. And another thing I'm praying for, a close knitted community to share lives with.
But one thing that comforts me, what God calls us to do, He will provide. Don't know how it will work out. I pray that His strength may be sufficient for me.
And today, I went back to GIC to meet up with my ex colleagues. I miss their company so much. Met my ex boss who said, U must come back more often. :) I met up w HY who baked me a cake and got me a World Vision T-shirt. Always got a soft spot for WV, and the cake was sweet in my mouth. Had good chat with Des over dinner as well. So all in, it has been a good time of meeting with people.
Yup. I am thankful for life's various pleasures that I get to enjoy. Camomile tea is one of them! But yup, I've tasted Jap, French, Korean, Chinese, Western (and more) Cusine in lovely settings. I have a gym club membership. I stay in a nice house. What more do I want? (World peace would be good =) )
Ever since working in my new job, it became clearer to me than ever that I was a very pampered gal. Always had everything provided for by my parents. However in my new job, I am required to be sharp and quick and resourceful. This baffles me many times, and I feel so inadequate. Pray for God's grace and strength to do things beyond what I can do.
Yup...and I'm finding myself getting tired more and more often. Part of it has to do with negative self talk that depletes my energy. But then another part of me wonders if it is time to drop anything, bcos Pstor Ed says that if u are overloaded, u cannot build deep. And its true. I wish that I could spend more time on building deeper friendships with some people, impacting lives in a deeper manner. And other than that also have time for good books and lots of reflection time with God.
After all the hussle and bussle of activities, what I really long for is a deep fellowship with God. To read my book and be quiet. And another thing I'm praying for, a close knitted community to share lives with.
But one thing that comforts me, what God calls us to do, He will provide. Don't know how it will work out. I pray that His strength may be sufficient for me.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Comforting thoughts
I haven't blogged for a while so thought I would sneak one in.
Its a photo blog....to show 2 photos of my workplace.
This one is the entrance to my workplace blding. I like the cross at the top and how it looks against the sky.
I'm learning the grace of God upon our organization, even as it struggles with our human and systemic imperfections. Yet the organization continues to exist for its reason to fulfil God's plan.
This one is a photo of my cubicle. We shifted cubicles one week ago. And I thought God answered my prayer for a quiet and more sheltered corner, whereby I can have more space and reflect and work better. So thank God for answering my prayer. The photos are from Cambodia- postcards I bought for fund raising. And there's a framed up picture of my mission trip to C. Both sets of pictures are to remind me why I am here. Without a vision, the people will perish.
Now zoom to something at home...
A picture of a sheep soft toy that my fren gave to me recently, plus the dog soft toy my sis gave me after I failed driving test 4 years ago. It reminds me that I am dearly loved.
Its a photo blog....to show 2 photos of my workplace.
This one is the entrance to my workplace blding. I like the cross at the top and how it looks against the sky.
I'm learning the grace of God upon our organization, even as it struggles with our human and systemic imperfections. Yet the organization continues to exist for its reason to fulfil God's plan.
This one is a photo of my cubicle. We shifted cubicles one week ago. And I thought God answered my prayer for a quiet and more sheltered corner, whereby I can have more space and reflect and work better. So thank God for answering my prayer. The photos are from Cambodia- postcards I bought for fund raising. And there's a framed up picture of my mission trip to C. Both sets of pictures are to remind me why I am here. Without a vision, the people will perish.
Now zoom to something at home...
A picture of a sheep soft toy that my fren gave to me recently, plus the dog soft toy my sis gave me after I failed driving test 4 years ago. It reminds me that I am dearly loved.
Everyday we are alive, is a gift from God. Learning not to sweat the small things, or to place too much importance on how people view me. But at the end of the day, I want to treasure my loved ones, my family, my close friends whom He has blessed me with. I want to remember that He has given me a dream.
Lastly, this is a song that really touched my heart. Because I am reminded that Jesus was everything, but most of all, He is love:
Third Day, Steven Curtis Chapman, Mercy Me - I See Love Lyrics
Some see a teacher
Standing on a hill
Speaking words of wisdom
Some see a healer
Reaching out his hand
To give sight to a blind man
Some see a dreamer
Wasting his life
On what can never be
Some see a fool
Dying for his dreams
But I see love (I see love)
I see love (I see love)
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace (I see grace)
I see God's face (I See Gods face)
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
I see love
Some see a prisoner
Alone before his judge
With no one to defend him
Some see a victim
Beaten and abused
With all the world against him
Some see a martyr
Carrying his cross
For what he believes
Some see a hero
Who set his people free
But I see love (I see love)
I see love (I see love)
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace (I see grace)
I see God's face (I See Gods face)
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
With your last breath
I see love
Through your death
I see love
I see peace in the eyes of the king
I see hope in your suffering (I see love)
I see a calm in the center of the storm
I see a Saviour
I see love
I see love
Light of heaven breaking through (heaven breaking through)
I see grace
I see God's face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
I see love
When I see you
I see heaven breaking through
See Gods face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
I see love
I see love
When I see
Some see Him walking from an empty grave
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Be thou my vision
Its amazing that July came and went, and now it is August. Time flies...
My spirits have been down of late due to various reasons. I'm feeling tired too often. : ( And the mood swings really go high and low.
About few days ago, two cats found their way into my kitchen, and over turned the dustbins in search of fish and I had to shoo them away. Even tho the two cats were cute, and I absolutely like cats. The two were like a pair of partners in crime, giving each other eye contact before they scampered off. Another one of the two came back again gingerly. I was washing the bowls, and to my amusement, the cat was sitting there quietly staring at me. Had to shoo it away again. Mum doesn't like cats in the kitchen, and if I give them food, they will come again and again.
I found something in this episode that parallels life. Sometimes, u can't have what u really like, cos the situation makes it so.
On Fri night at prayer, edmund shared about giving back the blessings to the blessor, because sometimes we get so caught up with the blessings, that we miss out on the blessor. It was a very sober msg, because unknowingly, or knowingly, we hold blessings tightly and refuse to let them go. I had to give back a few things, it didn't feel that painful at that point, cos I think I've been praying and asking for God's grace to give the blessings back to Him all along. The painful part is how this giving works in daily living, the daily consecration of one's heart and mind to be seeking the blessor and not the blessing. He quoted something from CS Lewis, "if you aim for heaven, you get earth thrown in, but if u aim for earth, you get neither. "
Singing "Be thou my vision" today meant a lot to me, that it brought tears to my eyes. The lyrics say "Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart, Naught be all else to me save that thou art ". Really, to tell God that nothing else matters except You, it brought tears to my eyes. Because...I know I meant it with all of my heart, yet in a very imperfect way. But God understands the struggle.
And so now Lord...will you be my vision, which after peeling away all the onion layers, is the deepest cry of my heart.
My spirits have been down of late due to various reasons. I'm feeling tired too often. : ( And the mood swings really go high and low.
About few days ago, two cats found their way into my kitchen, and over turned the dustbins in search of fish and I had to shoo them away. Even tho the two cats were cute, and I absolutely like cats. The two were like a pair of partners in crime, giving each other eye contact before they scampered off. Another one of the two came back again gingerly. I was washing the bowls, and to my amusement, the cat was sitting there quietly staring at me. Had to shoo it away again. Mum doesn't like cats in the kitchen, and if I give them food, they will come again and again.
I found something in this episode that parallels life. Sometimes, u can't have what u really like, cos the situation makes it so.
On Fri night at prayer, edmund shared about giving back the blessings to the blessor, because sometimes we get so caught up with the blessings, that we miss out on the blessor. It was a very sober msg, because unknowingly, or knowingly, we hold blessings tightly and refuse to let them go. I had to give back a few things, it didn't feel that painful at that point, cos I think I've been praying and asking for God's grace to give the blessings back to Him all along. The painful part is how this giving works in daily living, the daily consecration of one's heart and mind to be seeking the blessor and not the blessing. He quoted something from CS Lewis, "if you aim for heaven, you get earth thrown in, but if u aim for earth, you get neither. "
Singing "Be thou my vision" today meant a lot to me, that it brought tears to my eyes. The lyrics say "Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart, Naught be all else to me save that thou art ". Really, to tell God that nothing else matters except You, it brought tears to my eyes. Because...I know I meant it with all of my heart, yet in a very imperfect way. But God understands the struggle.
And so now Lord...will you be my vision, which after peeling away all the onion layers, is the deepest cry of my heart.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Waiting For You
Back fr the gym, had a good workout and tried the steam bath for a few minutes. =)
Switched on my comp, and played the song "Waiting for You" again. Its truly therapeutic. The flood gates opened again out of nowhere.
Because, love is, wanting the best for the other. And knowing that God is shaping the heart. The best may not be each other, who knows? But love means being willing to let go for the good of the other. It means entrusting the things u love to a faithful God who loves.
Waiting For You
John Lim & Clarissa Chng
Her:
Restless heart can’t get to sleep again
Thinking back to all the days I wasted
Empty doors one blank page after the next
Always knowing something better was ahead
Him:
On my own calling to God again
Asking Lord please take away this pain
Is this truly how you want my life to be
Father please don’t turn your face away from me
Then in the quiet of my soul
Jesus whispered the song I one day will know
Chorus
Her:
Every moment led me to you
Every night spent hoping for love
Every cry to God who was shaping our love in His hand
Him:
Every heartache waiting to heal
Every tear spent longing for you
Every day I’m seeing what I now know to be true
I was waiting for you
Together:
Break of dawn my heart is alive again
Looking back yes Jesus had a plan
All the times I thought it might had been too late
God was moulding me for someone worth the wait
Him:
Then in the quiet of my soul
(Her: Deep in my heart)
Jesus whispers the song that I now truly know
Her:
Every moment led me to you
Every night spent hoping for love
Every cry to God who was shaping our love in His hand
Him:
Every heartache waiting to heal
(Her: God has healed my pain)
Every tear spent longing for you
Every day I’m seeing what I now know to be true
Together:
Every faithful beat of my heart
Every memory waiting to start
Every road to come back God will lead us to each‘otherI’ll be waiting with you
Switched on my comp, and played the song "Waiting for You" again. Its truly therapeutic. The flood gates opened again out of nowhere.
Because, love is, wanting the best for the other. And knowing that God is shaping the heart. The best may not be each other, who knows? But love means being willing to let go for the good of the other. It means entrusting the things u love to a faithful God who loves.
Waiting For You
John Lim & Clarissa Chng
Her:
Restless heart can’t get to sleep again
Thinking back to all the days I wasted
Empty doors one blank page after the next
Always knowing something better was ahead
Him:
On my own calling to God again
Asking Lord please take away this pain
Is this truly how you want my life to be
Father please don’t turn your face away from me
Then in the quiet of my soul
Jesus whispered the song I one day will know
Chorus
Her:
Every moment led me to you
Every night spent hoping for love
Every cry to God who was shaping our love in His hand
Him:
Every heartache waiting to heal
Every tear spent longing for you
Every day I’m seeing what I now know to be true
I was waiting for you
Together:
Break of dawn my heart is alive again
Looking back yes Jesus had a plan
All the times I thought it might had been too late
God was moulding me for someone worth the wait
Him:
Then in the quiet of my soul
(Her: Deep in my heart)
Jesus whispers the song that I now truly know
Her:
Every moment led me to you
Every night spent hoping for love
Every cry to God who was shaping our love in His hand
Him:
Every heartache waiting to heal
(Her: God has healed my pain)
Every tear spent longing for you
Every day I’m seeing what I now know to be true
Together:
Every faithful beat of my heart
Every memory waiting to start
Every road to come back God will lead us to each‘otherI’ll be waiting with you
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)