Contemplations

I realise tat I am a thinking person.
My fren asked me yesterday, are u a very serious person? I realise I am. Was thinking the whole time yesterday. At the table were 5 of us. One of them kept telling stories, making jokes. She is an "I" personality. I am not. When I start telling stories, I dun feel comfy saying my story fr start to end. But I think I need to learn it. And to include some humour to my life story.
Another fren said leaders shd all be "D"-Dominant. I am also not.
I think I pretty much believe in free will and allowing pple to speak and think wat they want.

Now being a leader, I have to learn to be D. Learning it in both church and also in organisanising the forum. When Andrew doesn't like smthing that someone did, he tells it straight to the face. And he is VERY sure of what outcomes he wants. For me, I tell the person "Maybe...", "I think..."

I dun tink there is right and wrong to that. Pastor said yesterday, God created each one of us with different personalities. He knows your weaknesses! But you were not created as an accident.

I thank God tho for a chance to reflect. Ah...again, I conclude I am a person who likes to reflect. :) But when we did the personality test, I scored so low on being a reflector?

Coming out of comfort zone is so difficult. But faith knows no limits.

---

Watched "Shall we dance" with a couple of other cgls yest. Show was interesting. Happy ending. And it was q good...dance is realli a form of liberation I guess. To the male protagonist, John, it was. It made him happy. Oh..and he was tempted by the dancer...for her looks? Her mysterious aura? Something different fr his normal lawyer routine life I guess....
But in the end I think tat he came to the conclusion tat liberation existed not just in dancing...but also real liberation was accepting himself..and letting others know who he realli was? So tat he was free to share with his family this aspect of his life...
He was free to tell his wife tat, look, I am unhappy with my present way of life. So the liberation came not in the dancing, but it came in security..and acknowledgement of oneself.

Daphne...

Gave Daphne Bible study today, did a little shopping, spent a long time chatting in the cafe. It was great. I give this blog this title, cos I thank the Lord for sending me this sister in the cg. She is realli a great encouragement to me. Daphne! Jia you! :)
And of cos to all the other bros and sis in the cg. SO proud of u guys, always so strong. :)

PUSH

I read this story some times ago...I think 2 years back. When I first read it, I was so touched that I cried. Today, it has the same effect on me. Enjoy the story, my fren. :)

PUSH for Life

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. So, this the man did, day after day.

For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: "You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved." Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough."

That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.
"Lord," he said, "I have laboured long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimetre. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done."

"Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?"

"Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have ."

"True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock."
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when usually what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him.

By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves mountains.
When everything seems to go wrong ...just P.U.S.H.!
When the job gets you down ...just P.U.S.H.!
When people don't react the way you think they should ... just P.U.S.H!
When your money is "gone" and the bills are due ... just P.U.S.H!
When people just don't understand you .... just P.U.S.H.
P = Pray
U = Until
S = Something
H = Happens

My team leader, me and my sis.

Next to me are the two of my fave girls. The one right next to me is the one who offered me satay. After queuing for 15 min for her satay, she wanted to give me hers. Cos she said I haven't eaten dinner.

Kunming airport

Nice pic...of the whole YEP team at Kunming airport heh. I'm using a new photobucket function. Wow, so cool. :)

CG!

Heh cg fellowship was good today...Glad to see pple coming together and enjoying each other's company. :)
I think we could have pressed in more into God's presence...
I'm glad tat He is touching and changing lives, and pple desire to be changed. :) Saw some tearing during worship. Wow...God kept speaking thru different ple. I pray tat God will continue to move in the cg.

Today I called Mediacorp, and this lady ask me to email her my interview ques. At least things are looking up. And CDL also replied me. Yeah...and also Motorola. Hope tat I get to interview them realli soon. It's realli not such a good feeling having to "beg" or ask favours. Same for getting sponsors for the forum. Guess gotto overcome this. SO tat am able to work and meet clients next time. trying lotsa new things lately. Up hill task.. help me Lord!

Changes and stuffs

Just had dinner with my "winner" biz policy grp. Dinner was good..catch up time, and it countered the usual notion tat project grps stay as project grps. Amazing tat we can all meet up for dinner. Except tat settings have changed, and...bernard is in his long sleve shirt working at UOB, canice got a job at HSBC...issac is gonna be an academic, Mel C is now working in a firm doing publicity.
Ohhs...time for me to be applying for jobs now too! I din attend any JP Morgan, Citibank, UOB talk...sheesh, they all clash with my other stuffs. I also wonder if I wish to work in a bank, cos it seems realli boring. I am tinking of applying for this i-pop job...

Well with the uncertainty, I am also not sure if I like a job where I can meet clients, or I want a research job (deskbound)? And I realise tat in august 13th I will be having the SE Forum...by then I would be working liao, and heading it....WOw, seems like a whole lot of stuffs to do.

Andrew called me fr Germany yest..he said cos I sounded drained in my email to him. Tats so nice of him.

It isn't exactly a very easy period to be going thru, nevertheless with the Lord's grace and ways tat He has been encouraging me....I will persevere!
Oh ya, my dad was v nice tat day. This is a realli good testimony. I wanted to find a tuition job, and my dad said, dun go and find lar...spend ur time looking for a perm job. I give u $200 every month. WHoaaaa....tats on top of my pocket money. :)

New blog skin

Hehe...Okie
enough...
Back to my thesis!

Oh Oh Oh
I must share that my supervisor replied my email. I am so happie!!! :) Yay...things are looking up.

Now gotto type my methodology for my chapter 2. Hehe

New blog skin

Haiyoh
I can't believe this, spent so much time doing frivalous stuff and I can't find a blog skin tat I like? If this goes on I might as well go back to my blurty..heh...
Oh well...
Anyway eugene is so nice to help me search...shall continue the process tmr. After I do some work ofcos!! Thesis comes first. :)

Wow!

Wowwww..
from the prayer meeting to worship to preaching to offering. It was GREAT!

Awesome...thruout God saying the same thing, go back to ur first love!! Eugene spoke watever God told him to. How many of you actually believe in God? Whoa man..and joel added. And then the sermon was so-so...but when it came to ministry, it was so powerful..it was like continuation of the conviction fr God. Tat pple had to go back to their first love. Fellowship was great. Heh...ratio of 5 guys to 2? For the first time. Well..guys tend to talk abt diff stuff heh..but it was great.

God turned the whole situation around. Wow, indeed this whole thing has changed my character..checked my motives for being a cgl. I'm so humbled. :) SO grateful...