Its monday!

Hi Good morning!
Its monday morning and I'm in my office typing this blog. =) Unlike other mondays, this monday feels a little different. Cos I'm going through some transitions in my life. Have been praying and asking God for direction for a few months, and I finally made a decision on saturday!

It has been a tough year for me, at the beginning of the year rushing my thesis, and then busy with ministry and family and then entering the work force in May! Unlike other christmases where I would be enjoying my school holidays, this year I am not on holiday and can only do my christmas shopping on saturday! =P And for the first time, I'm not writing christmas cards to all my frens, except for a few close ones.

I love the christmasy mood every year..walking down orchard road and basking under the lights, and listening to our all time favourite christmas carols. There's one christmas song in particular that I really like, its name its called Night Divine. Christmas!! A holy night...and a new
beginning, a new birth. =)

So anyway in prep for christmas, here's wishing all my readers a blessed one. And may u also discover a new birth!

Its the time of the year again to do reflections...which I will do in the next few days time! And for new resolutions! =)

Suffering and Joy

I woke up this morning at 655am, which is rare, cos normally when the alarm blasts at 7am, I would still be in deep sleep. I dreamt a very weird dream, I dreamt of my grandma..and we, her grandchildren were clamouring around her. And then I was showing my cousins some photos...think wanted to show them a picture of my bf taken with the family. Strange dream. SIgh, my grandma already passed away few years ago.
Not sure if this dream was meant for anything. If anything, I think it speaks of treasuring yr loved ones.

Been reading up some christian books. I am currently reading a book by John Piper, "Desiring God". Its an interesting book, cos it provides a different perspective. It says that we bring the most glory to God when we are satisfied in Him (or smthing like that...I'm paraphrasing). He calls himself a "christian Hedonist". heh..sounds strange, but as I read more, I realised what he meant. Anyway these days, I finally understand what it means to serve out of a position of rest. That was wat Paul (my fren fr VCF) prayed for me 2 years ago. Paul (fr bible), says that he is hard pressed on every side, and yet he knows that nothing can separate him fr the love of God. Paul poured out his life in serving God..thru trials, tribulations, testings, imprisonments, and yet surely he also felt joy in his heart. How do we as christians reconcile joy and suffering together? Piper said elsewhere that we might be filled with burden for the ple we are serving but yet looking in macro perspective and God's wonderful work, our hearts are also filled with a joy.

This seems like a series of thoughts all over. Okie time for work. YAWN..not enuff sleep...sob sob. Hard pressed on every side. But like Paul, may I (and you) be filled with joy and the love of God. The Father's love. My Abba Father. Knowing that He cares for me.

Overwhelmed

A little overwhelmed this week with late nites..prayer meeting and leaders meeting..slept at 130am for two nites. :( Then today had OT until 830pm..reached home and bathed and ate and it was 10pm. Realised that my dad tried to tidy up my drawer and kinda took my stuff out and placed them elsewhere. And suddenly the emotions came flooding all over me and I felt so super duper tired. So I went to worship and played my guitar. =) feel much better....and thank God for my dear who was there for me too!

I was reading this verse just now:
But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.

Okie good nite! =)

Chalet and all...

We had a CG chalet fr Thursday to Sat morning..to celebrate 3 of the members birthday, and it was nice....to play, bbq, walk at kelong and game...and playing board games etc. Really quite glad it worked out in the end. =) Was really glad that Jonathan came over to help, and he was really great help in the end...helping to bbq the food and clearing up, and also helping me think of games. I'm really so touched that he fasted 3 days for the chalet. =) Even though he was having his own issues. Yups...aniwae thursday night CG was fantastic, cos I could see the mbrs were being ministered to by God and encouraged. Hope that everyone will press on!

I took 1 day off today...post chalet rest! Been so busy organizing it...then anyway I went out with Jon, he had a free voucher for a buffet lunch! And we went to visit Rama, whom he met at Macdonalds before. He stays in one room flat, has problems with his left hand and isn't able to find a job. So Jon got him canned food and also a mattress to sleep on, and we prayed together for him. It was really nice. Fulfilling wat the bible calls us to do, meeting the needs of the poor! =) Yups...we are thinking of doing more, maybe giving out xmas gifts to the neighbourhood near christmas? Feel so happy thinking abt that.

So the big question, why did Miss Ng get attached to a guy she only knew for such a short time. Is it too fast? =) I guess that time by itself is not the sole factor. But the chemistry, compatibility and vision is there. We both want to do something for the ple who hurt, and we share many similarities. And the chemistry is there. This is not a rash decision. In fact I find it rather divine. Today I stumbled upon his prayer diary and as I looked at his prayer requests, I feel that he is such a godly man. We also visited christian bookshops and browsed at books...heh, jon is a guy who likes to read! Me too! I guess as we know each other better each day, we just love each other more. This may sound totally mushy..but I do feel that the whole thing is so divine. =) And I am happy that God is a provider, even for relationships.

Who is my boyfriend Jonathan. Just a short intro, he is 26 this year, and he studied political science and development in University of New South Wales. His chinese is not very good..I'm gonna give him chinese tuition. He is fr Trinity Christian Centre. He is very interested in development, and helping the poor, so is looking for a job that is related to that. =) Anything else u need to know, just ask me!

Yup it has been a wonderful weekend, and tmr I'm back to work. :) Hope that I will have a great week ahead. :)

Happy and blessed girl!!

Hello...this is gonna be a short post...but I just wanted to share with my dear blog readers that, I have found the man that I wanna spend my life with! :) Heh. And I am really blessed. =) And really happy. After giving 23 years of my life to serve God..God is so good...and then there were times when I was tempted to compromise on relationships, to choose guys who were non christians or nominal christians..and there were all sorts of struggles. Now I know why, that it is all a preparation for the right person at the right time. I'm really v blessed and amazed by how good God is!! And I am happy! =)

How have I been?

It has been almost 2 weeks since I published any post. :P Been really busy! Hmm.. before I know it the weekend is over and its another week of work. :) Exciting and new things are happening in my life, very fast but so blessed too.
Last weekend I watched Harry Potter with Eunice then met up with another fren after. It was really great meeting up with them both! :) Had a great sat...and then sun we celebrated Mummy's bday!! As for friday...we had company D&D and yesterday sat, went to visit Trinity Christian Centre with Jon. It was really good...felt comfy over there. And it was a bible teaching on Hearing God's voice. It was pretty interesting, cos we broke up into pairs to practice praying over another person and prophesying. So anyway there was this lady I prayed with, and I sensed that someone in her family was sick, and then prayed for that. She prayed for my family and my r/s with my mum. Felt a strong presence of God, and then later as we shared, she said that her kids were ill. And then I told her abt my mum too. And it was really good. =) The pastor prophecied over us at the beginning. And then she said smthing, that I think was for me. She said there is someone who is making decisions, praying abt decisions, but God didn't just want this daughter to pray abt decisions, but to come back to Him. And I was so amazed cos I felt such a tremendous peace all over me. And I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. This kinda confirmed watever that I had heard previously during worship. Except I din know how to put it into words.

Watever it is, God is such a good God. And yups...We will in due season reap if we do not lose heart. Watever route we choose, its not as much the route..as much as a close walk with Him. Not sure if I am making sense here. But I know that He is there for me as I make the decisions in my life. =)

Thank You to God for bringing ple into my life..ple to share my life and time with. Heh. Indeed He is a good God. I realise that I am actually not a very loving person..not a very good communicator. But I know that slowly I will become a better person. And that God is very good indeed to bring ple to teach me how to love and how to sacrifice. :)

hello!

Hi! I'm trying out this email to blog feature, if it works I can email to my blog and heh..update more frequently.

About Agape love

As usual in one of my contemplative modes again. =) Been a long time since I wrote anything very substantial, most of it were "hi"s and byes to my dear faithful blog readers. Btw, diff ple have diff intentions for writing blogs, I think for me, I write not just for myself, but I keep in mind my audience when I blog.

Anyway I had quite a good weekend. Had steamboat with CG on friday, and it was good just chatting and fellowshipping. The wonderful thing abt godly friendships is that we can talk abt bible related jokes and riddles, and we can all understand each other. I really really pray that the cg mbrs will become brothers and sisters so close to one another that they can share so freely and enjoy each other's fellowship. Out of it will bear such love..goodness..patience and encouragement for one another. =)

I spent a few hrs on sat choosing a HP for my mum, my surprise bday present for her. COs she has been wanting to get one, but she is not very tech saavy, and it was wonderful seeing her open the gift and being so excited, and I had to teach her how to change ring tones and sms and store phone numbers. It was all quite exciting. I also got myself a hp 6020, with camera, without a contract. My samsung tho pretty, is so hard to sms, esp mass ones..and time saving is so impt! And I wanna take pics. And it was really a very reasonable px, thus far the best I've come across for this model.
Yups and then after getting the hp, I went to East Coast Park with Jon. We had dinner and sat around to talk. It was really good. Sitting on the mat and looking at the sky and the moon and stars (a few only) and the sunset and the sea. =) And really very relaxing. I mean for someone so workholic like me, it was really good quality time. I tink one thing I really appreciate abt Jon is that he is so loving and there for ple. Something which I need to learn from him, to be loving towards other ple and to be just as patient. And to demonstrate what really is God's love.

To me..I think genuine love, is wanting the best for the one u love, which includes being wise abt the timing, and knowing to give and take when it is neccessary. That includes allowing for space. I mean..even in a relationship in which I love someone, ownership doesn't mean happiness for the other party. It will be more loving to wait for the other party. There can be selfish love and pure love. Selfish love..tho expressed as concern, wishes to love so that u can feel happy that u loved. (not sure if I'm making sense) Agape..God's love, is unconditional. Meaning that, it can accept not being loved back. Ofcos as humans, we innately desire for understanding and fellowship. Heh the art of learning to LOVE is not easy.

Sunday morning had bible study as usual early in the morning..and then there was service where pastor ulf preached a very simple message, but was really good abt calling. Calling...to many seems like a call to ministry, but our primary calling is a Holy Calling, simply to the Lord, to be more and more Christ like.

Parents came for chinese service today cos there was a guest speaker, and it was a historical moment I will remember..the 4 of us sitting in one row and worshipping God together. =) Had dinner at thai place.

As u can see I had a very packed weekend..heh.....still haven't caught up on the books I bought! =)

Last of all to end with a testimony. U guys remember my Creative mp3 player was sent for repair, and the gal told me I will get a new one back in 2-3 weeks. They din get back to me for 3.5 weeks! And I sent a complain letter, in which they respnded to within the day. They gave me a new one today! And...the redeeming thing is, they gave me a 6 GB one, in replacement for my 5 GB one haha.

Okie...byee...zonked out.

weekend...

Hallo..its been a busy weekend..hardly got much rest and tmr's monday again. Sigh. Heard from colleague on friday that my manager was not pleased with me for leaving early w/o finishing a work...oops...cos I was rushing off for CG prayer meeting. Hope tmr the anger flames would have died down. =>
Sat nite went for the NUS Biz gala dinner...hmm...was q boring with the standard speech by the dean. Thot that the dean would be a bit more non-compromising. And then yups...sat at same table as XT, gus and Andrew. Glad all of us managed to catch up a little.
I've been thinking abt many things recently esp doctrinal issues. And an increased hunger for His word..not just following wat the sermons say, but going back home and really going over His word.
Certain things have been pretty discouraging, and I am tired. But yet I will be strong cos it feels different. A quiet peace within my heart and this assurance of God with me. Heh..part of the process of growing up too..thinking thru issues, life...perspectives, who am I and wat I really want to achieve at the end of the day. Shd I be where I am? :) Haa...deep inside..who am I and wat do I think? Facing my emotions and fears head on. HEh. Yups..thats me!!

HIeee...its meee...
I'm still alive tho long time no blog..
it was good having two holidays last week...spent them q well...:) hah..this is a silly post as u can see! :)