Its been quite good these days, getting lots of rest and doing lots more reflections.
God been speaking to me about one area, Fear. Fear of God vesus fear of men. Realise that I have a lot of fears in my heart. Fears about the future, fears about ple's opinions, fears of venturing out. And I hope that this year I may be able to overcome these fears in my life.
I realise that this time is a real test for me. Always sought to be acceptable by others and to somehow be conventional in my thinking. But ever since I have been exposed to alternative thinkings and challenged in my mind, I think my thinking has become rather unconventional. And this is a struggle for me. I know that ple judge others by the things they do and say -looking at the exterior. I can't help but say, yes, I am concerned with ple's opinions about me. But then I shall have a breakthrough in this area and not worry so much or seek to justify myself. God's truth is much more important!
Hey..but may my decisions in life never stumble you. Those of u reading this, ple who look up to me, u must believe in me that my decisions always seek to honour God. Even if they seem strange to u. Fix yr eyes on Him!
Anyway...
Been praying for ple in Singapore, and overseas recently, instead of just for myself. I really pray for revival in my company! I am also tinking of doing some sermons and uploading them on my blog. hehe. I miss preaching so much and there are some truths that I hope to share. Maybe like Pastor Ulf I shall preach while riding my bike. I preached to the pillow last night! Yay. Pls tell me that u will download my sermons if I make them? :P
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Photos @ Phuket
Eating Lunch on a floating "restaurant"
<--Hug hug and me at floating restaurant! 
On the boat.
<--Me before I jump into the sea to snorkel! 
I like the deep blue sea. :)
Sun-ing ourselves after the snorkel. Nice breeze and sun. (I hope my colleagues dun mind me uploading this pic) -->
My division ple, playing Amazing Race.
My Jie meis....-->
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Faith
Sermon was quite simple for the past two days, about seasons in our lives and about anointing for healing. I guess what really spoke to me was the name of Jesus and having faith that we are IN HIM. In His Body, and that we are anointed to do miracles. =)
Same goes for prayers. Reminded me that I must have faith in my prayers. That includes believing in God that He loves the people whom I love more than I do. Much much more. To trust Him enough rather than to take matters in my own hands.
Same goes for prayers. Reminded me that I must have faith in my prayers. That includes believing in God that He loves the people whom I love more than I do. Much much more. To trust Him enough rather than to take matters in my own hands.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Sacrifice vs Delight
hi all, =)
Back in my office since yesterday. Yesterday night I read another few chapts of Piper, and was pretty encouraged, esp by the things he talked abt wrt marriage and missions. He quoted quite a few examples e.g. Livingstone, Hudson Taylor etc who spent their lives in their mission field, and yet they were filled with joy at the mission field. Thats the attitude of a christian hedonist. U know many times we have this self pity mode that we are sacrificing so much of our lives, time, talents to the Lord, and this thinking totally revolutionalises that. Why? Cos Piper explains that going to the mission field is actually a hedonistic thing to do.
Mk 10:29-30
29 So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, 30 who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life.
To follow after Christ we actually gain more. Brothers or sisters as in the christian family and lands as in all the lands belong to God (another interpretation that as everyone shares what they have, what they have is yrs). And even more so eternal life.
Actually that spurred me to question other stuffs.
I wonder if you are a christian reading this? If so, do you believe in God?
If you believe in God, do you believe in Heaven?
If you believe in Heaven, do you believe that your inheritance is in Heaven?
If Yes to the above questions,
then
Why are we living our lives carelessly and accumulating wealth on this earth instead of being more active in outreach, missions and using our talents to serve God?
I know this is hard to swallow. When I was first asked this question whether I believe I should seek to live a simple life, and go and help the poor, I found it so hard to say yes, though it makes sense for us to. =)
Maybe we will never attain it, but yet at least we are aware of it all? =P
Sorrie to my non christian frens reading this who think I am mad. hehehe. I'm not, let me assure you. But also time to get philosophical...what does life mean to you? =)
Well having said all that I still believe in timing and preparation time. =) Jesus only began His ministry when He was 30. I believe that no time and experience is wasted. I pray that right now in my work place, God may use me, and that I may be moulded in my character first. And He may prepare my heart.
Thank you God for bringing me out of my self pitying mode. I'm so sorry for my bad attitude.
Back in my office since yesterday. Yesterday night I read another few chapts of Piper, and was pretty encouraged, esp by the things he talked abt wrt marriage and missions. He quoted quite a few examples e.g. Livingstone, Hudson Taylor etc who spent their lives in their mission field, and yet they were filled with joy at the mission field. Thats the attitude of a christian hedonist. U know many times we have this self pity mode that we are sacrificing so much of our lives, time, talents to the Lord, and this thinking totally revolutionalises that. Why? Cos Piper explains that going to the mission field is actually a hedonistic thing to do.
Mk 10:29-30
29 So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, 30 who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life.
To follow after Christ we actually gain more. Brothers or sisters as in the christian family and lands as in all the lands belong to God (another interpretation that as everyone shares what they have, what they have is yrs). And even more so eternal life.
Actually that spurred me to question other stuffs.
I wonder if you are a christian reading this? If so, do you believe in God?
If you believe in God, do you believe in Heaven?
If you believe in Heaven, do you believe that your inheritance is in Heaven?
If Yes to the above questions,
then
Why are we living our lives carelessly and accumulating wealth on this earth instead of being more active in outreach, missions and using our talents to serve God?
I know this is hard to swallow. When I was first asked this question whether I believe I should seek to live a simple life, and go and help the poor, I found it so hard to say yes, though it makes sense for us to. =)
Maybe we will never attain it, but yet at least we are aware of it all? =P
Sorrie to my non christian frens reading this who think I am mad. hehehe. I'm not, let me assure you. But also time to get philosophical...what does life mean to you? =)
Well having said all that I still believe in timing and preparation time. =) Jesus only began His ministry when He was 30. I believe that no time and experience is wasted. I pray that right now in my work place, God may use me, and that I may be moulded in my character first. And He may prepare my heart.
Thank you God for bringing me out of my self pitying mode. I'm so sorry for my bad attitude.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
My Spiritual Journey
Here's the link to my spiritual journey. If you are interested. =)
http://journey-in-christ.blogspot.com/
Its work in progress. I'm only at secondary 4 of my christian life!
http://journey-in-christ.blogspot.com/
Its work in progress. I'm only at secondary 4 of my christian life!
My soul magnifies the Lord
Hi, hope u like my new blogskin. I love it for the sunny and surreal kinda feeling. =P I'm on MC today cos of food poisoning. Vomitted on the bus yesterday on the way home, and thank God I brought a plastic bag along cos I kinda thought I might vomit. Anyway no one noticed I vomitted, either I'm very discrete or singaporeans are a lot who can't be bothered with whats going on around them!
I am inspired by someone's website containing his spiritual journey and some of his thoughts from teenager to now. And I am keen to start a blog too for that. Cos I am not so sure whether most of my readers here like to read spiritual stuffs.
I am currently reading John Piper's Desiring God. Yups, have not finished it, and it is such a good book. Some of the parts I read yesterday really stuck me and touched me a lot. And its been a long time since I really felt such joy in my heart. I hope that this will help u as well. I shall type some paragraphs that I really like, lest I misquote him:
Love is the overflow of joy in God. It is not a duty for duty's sake or right for right's sake. It is not a resolute abandoning of one's own good with a view soley to the good of the other person. It is first a deeply satisfying experience of the fullness of God's grace and then a doubly satisfying experience of sharing the grace with another person.
When poverty-stricken Macedonians beg Paul for the privilege of giving money to other poor saints, we may assume that this is not just what they ought to do or have to do, but what they really long to do. It is their joy-an extension of their joy in God. To be sure, they are "denying themselves" whatever pleasures or comforts they could have from the money they give away, but the joy of extending God's grace to others is a far better reward than anything money could buy. The Macedonians have discovered the labour of Christian Hedonism: love! It is the overdlow of joy in God that gladly meets the needs of others.
...if you try to abandon the pursuit of your full and lasting joy, you cannot love people or please God. If love is the overflow of joy in God that gladly meets the needs of others, then to abandon the pursuit of this joy is to abandon the pursuit of love. And if God is pleased by cheerful givers, then to abandon the pursuit of this cheerfulness sets you on a course in which God takes no delight. If we are indifferent to whether we do a good deed cheerfully, we are indifferent to what pleases God. For God loves a cheerful giver.
Love enjoys ministry
Don't do your work under constraint. This means the impulse should come gladly from within, not oppresively from without...The "eagerness" of ministry should not come from the extrinsic reward of money, but from the instrinsic reward of seeing God's grace flow through you to others.
On money
But a wealth-and-prosperity doctrine is afoot today, shaped by the half-truth that says, "We glorify God with our money by enjoying thankfully all the things He enables us to buy. Why should a son of the King live like a pauper?" And so on. The true half of this is that we should give thanks for every good thing God enables us to have. That does glorify Him. The false half is the subtle implication that God can be glorified in this way by all kinds of luxurious purchases.
If this were true, Jesus would not have said, "Sell your possesssions, and give to the needy"(Lk 12:33) He would not have said, "Do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink"(Luke12:29)...God is NOT glorified when we keep for ourselves (no matter how thankfully) what we ought to be using to alleviate the misery of unevangelized , uneducated, unmedicated and unfed millions. The evidence that many professional Christians have been decieved by this doctrine is how little they give and how much they own...And by an almost irresistable law of consumer culture, they have bought bigger (and more) houses, newer (and more) cars, fancier (and more) clothes, better (and more) meat, and all manners of trinkers and gadgets and containers and devices and equipment ot make life more fun.
I hope that the above that I have typed are useful for you. Worthy of contemplation, isn't it?
For me, the part on seeking joy when we serve really helped me and enlightened me. With regards to the money portion, it confirmed whatever that's in my heart.
In all conclusion...God is a good God.
U noe what? We can seek after joy and be filled with hope about our future cos we know that He is very good. Just like Jesus, looking to the real reward and not fixing our eyes on now.
Also read this portion on prayer and the word of God in the book, which were really good. And I went to pray after that...feeling Happy, not by compulsion so that I have to clock in my prayer time. =)
There was this song that suddenly came to me.
I have found exceeding joy,
Jesus answered when I called
this Name that has saved me,
pure love that embraced me.
Mercy, grace, eternal life.
Bought from darkness to His light.
While lost in my sin, He
raised me and made me live.
Chorus:
My soul magnifies the Lord,
my heart joys in God my Saviour,
for He lifts the lowly,
He's done great things for me.
I will sing, praising evermore,
He is mighty and Holy is His Name.
I will lift my head up high,
praising Jesus through each trial.
Though I have not seen Him,
I love Him completely.
May I encourage my dear readers to seek after JOY. But the real and permanent kind. Warning! Don't get short-changed by seeking other kinds of joy! They don't satisfy..!
I am inspired by someone's website containing his spiritual journey and some of his thoughts from teenager to now. And I am keen to start a blog too for that. Cos I am not so sure whether most of my readers here like to read spiritual stuffs.
I am currently reading John Piper's Desiring God. Yups, have not finished it, and it is such a good book. Some of the parts I read yesterday really stuck me and touched me a lot. And its been a long time since I really felt such joy in my heart. I hope that this will help u as well. I shall type some paragraphs that I really like, lest I misquote him:
Love is the overflow of joy in God. It is not a duty for duty's sake or right for right's sake. It is not a resolute abandoning of one's own good with a view soley to the good of the other person. It is first a deeply satisfying experience of the fullness of God's grace and then a doubly satisfying experience of sharing the grace with another person.
When poverty-stricken Macedonians beg Paul for the privilege of giving money to other poor saints, we may assume that this is not just what they ought to do or have to do, but what they really long to do. It is their joy-an extension of their joy in God. To be sure, they are "denying themselves" whatever pleasures or comforts they could have from the money they give away, but the joy of extending God's grace to others is a far better reward than anything money could buy. The Macedonians have discovered the labour of Christian Hedonism: love! It is the overdlow of joy in God that gladly meets the needs of others.
...if you try to abandon the pursuit of your full and lasting joy, you cannot love people or please God. If love is the overflow of joy in God that gladly meets the needs of others, then to abandon the pursuit of this joy is to abandon the pursuit of love. And if God is pleased by cheerful givers, then to abandon the pursuit of this cheerfulness sets you on a course in which God takes no delight. If we are indifferent to whether we do a good deed cheerfully, we are indifferent to what pleases God. For God loves a cheerful giver.
Love enjoys ministry
Don't do your work under constraint. This means the impulse should come gladly from within, not oppresively from without...The "eagerness" of ministry should not come from the extrinsic reward of money, but from the instrinsic reward of seeing God's grace flow through you to others.
On money
But a wealth-and-prosperity doctrine is afoot today, shaped by the half-truth that says, "We glorify God with our money by enjoying thankfully all the things He enables us to buy. Why should a son of the King live like a pauper?" And so on. The true half of this is that we should give thanks for every good thing God enables us to have. That does glorify Him. The false half is the subtle implication that God can be glorified in this way by all kinds of luxurious purchases.
If this were true, Jesus would not have said, "Sell your possesssions, and give to the needy"(Lk 12:33) He would not have said, "Do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink"(Luke12:29)...God is NOT glorified when we keep for ourselves (no matter how thankfully) what we ought to be using to alleviate the misery of unevangelized , uneducated, unmedicated and unfed millions. The evidence that many professional Christians have been decieved by this doctrine is how little they give and how much they own...And by an almost irresistable law of consumer culture, they have bought bigger (and more) houses, newer (and more) cars, fancier (and more) clothes, better (and more) meat, and all manners of trinkers and gadgets and containers and devices and equipment ot make life more fun.
I hope that the above that I have typed are useful for you. Worthy of contemplation, isn't it?
For me, the part on seeking joy when we serve really helped me and enlightened me. With regards to the money portion, it confirmed whatever that's in my heart.
In all conclusion...God is a good God.
U noe what? We can seek after joy and be filled with hope about our future cos we know that He is very good. Just like Jesus, looking to the real reward and not fixing our eyes on now.
Also read this portion on prayer and the word of God in the book, which were really good. And I went to pray after that...feeling Happy, not by compulsion so that I have to clock in my prayer time. =)
There was this song that suddenly came to me.
I have found exceeding joy,
Jesus answered when I called
this Name that has saved me,
pure love that embraced me.
Mercy, grace, eternal life.
Bought from darkness to His light.
While lost in my sin, He
raised me and made me live.
Chorus:
My soul magnifies the Lord,
my heart joys in God my Saviour,
for He lifts the lowly,
He's done great things for me.
I will sing, praising evermore,
He is mighty and Holy is His Name.
I will lift my head up high,
praising Jesus through each trial.
Though I have not seen Him,
I love Him completely.
May I encourage my dear readers to seek after JOY. But the real and permanent kind. Warning! Don't get short-changed by seeking other kinds of joy! They don't satisfy..!
Sunday, February 19, 2006
My Holiday...
Hi one and all,
I am back from my retreat! It was a really good break for me and I feel refreshed now! On the first day we had a cruise and it was on a speed boat (hmm, not exactly a boat but a small ship that can sit the 16 of us just nicely?). And the boat was moving quite fast over the vast blue seas!! It went from one island to another and some trips spanning for 1 hour. Sitting outside the deck and leaning against the railing was wonderful, and some of us screamed our hearts out into the sea. Heh, no points for guessing who suggested screaming. I feel such a relief after screaming!! And my manager and director joined us too. WY (affectionately known as "hug hug" cos she is always so warm) sang songs with me...and the both of us basically went mad!! And then we had lunch on a floating kelong, the fish and prawns were fresh! After that we did snorkeling. It was my first time doing it, but all along I had always wanted to do it. Saw the coral reefs and a FEW fishes cos I din dare to swim too far..hung on to the rope and went only few mtrs away from it. But it was an experience I would never forget! Heh...it was scary at first cos I dun really swim, so even tho the life vests kept us afloat, it was strange not being able to touch the ground and even scary. I guess that reflects everyday life and my desire for some sort of stability to be able to stand on my two feet. Yet getting "lost" in the waters was nice after some time as I got used to that feeling and was secure that I will not fall inside cos the life vest kept me afloat. Somewhat metophorical of how God will keep me safe even when I feel I can't touch the ground or see what is ahead of me. I think this is my new philosophy in life, to make decisions in a way that I will not regret in the future and perhaps increase my level of risk taking. =)
Had good food like bbq seafood and all that, all paid for..but shan't really elaborate on that. Guess I was happy cos of the good company of Jie meis and running about "hahaing" with them..being able to be myself and not so-called trapped in the office. We did personality tests, individual and team profiles and I must say I was really quite blessed by the profiles that they gave me. I realise why I wasn't so happy in my job with regards to certain aspects. My team's profile is traditional, serious, reserved, shy and like to stick to status quo. My profile deviates from the majority, I am serious too but I am open to change, warm, and socially bold (ahem, according to my test that is). Realise there is a diff between shyness and introvertedness. I am in the middle of introvertedness and extrovertedness but I am not shy- I am socially bold. Being introverted means enjoying being by oneself? While shy means u dun like attention on yrself. I think I rather enjoy spending time with myself, but I guess I do like certain attention on myself. Yups..anyway my boss had quite a high score for being serious and traditional. I realise I like changes, I don't like to stick to the same things. Its really weird how my colleagues see me, and some made remarks like since when am I NOT extroverted, or stuffs about how noisy I am, and this colleague said they cannot imagine me being by myself or keeping quiet. Hmmm..which is really strange with a different crowd of ple cos I can be very quiet..I'm sure u all know that.
Anyway its good lar....helps me to understand myself better and hopefully my colleagues too. I had another extremely high score in being rule conscious (aka set aside personal wishes to fulfil obligations) and perfectionistic, and some colleagues were shocked. They said, I thought u are the least rule conscious! Diaoz.. well to me, many of my social and religious convictions are unshakeable but perhaps the director who shared with me was right- that I take a dispassionate view towards work, hence my rule consciousness doesn't really come out in the wk place cos my convictions exist more in religious and social beliefs.
There's where the tension comes cos I am open to change (he said I liked to give ple chance and have an open mind) and yet I am rule conscious. Ha....high tension level!
Anyway I duno who is reading this, pls tell me if u think the above description of me is true. =)
Had a good break, yups, tmr is monday again and back to work. Had a good time reflecting abt life and my future too, standing on the boat. Praying and singing to God and reading the bible. Writing prayers in a little paper in the hotel. =) God is good, always. Prayed for Jon. Prayed for me. Yeah, I really like thailand and the ple are so warm and frenly and polite. Thought abt poverty and missions. Hmm..how to reach the world? How to reach my colleagues? They are open to me, but how and when...and how? Pray for future.. And hoping that the future includes him, and his would include mine.
I am back from my retreat! It was a really good break for me and I feel refreshed now! On the first day we had a cruise and it was on a speed boat (hmm, not exactly a boat but a small ship that can sit the 16 of us just nicely?). And the boat was moving quite fast over the vast blue seas!! It went from one island to another and some trips spanning for 1 hour. Sitting outside the deck and leaning against the railing was wonderful, and some of us screamed our hearts out into the sea. Heh, no points for guessing who suggested screaming. I feel such a relief after screaming!! And my manager and director joined us too. WY (affectionately known as "hug hug" cos she is always so warm) sang songs with me...and the both of us basically went mad!! And then we had lunch on a floating kelong, the fish and prawns were fresh! After that we did snorkeling. It was my first time doing it, but all along I had always wanted to do it. Saw the coral reefs and a FEW fishes cos I din dare to swim too far..hung on to the rope and went only few mtrs away from it. But it was an experience I would never forget! Heh...it was scary at first cos I dun really swim, so even tho the life vests kept us afloat, it was strange not being able to touch the ground and even scary. I guess that reflects everyday life and my desire for some sort of stability to be able to stand on my two feet. Yet getting "lost" in the waters was nice after some time as I got used to that feeling and was secure that I will not fall inside cos the life vest kept me afloat. Somewhat metophorical of how God will keep me safe even when I feel I can't touch the ground or see what is ahead of me. I think this is my new philosophy in life, to make decisions in a way that I will not regret in the future and perhaps increase my level of risk taking. =)
Had good food like bbq seafood and all that, all paid for..but shan't really elaborate on that. Guess I was happy cos of the good company of Jie meis and running about "hahaing" with them..being able to be myself and not so-called trapped in the office. We did personality tests, individual and team profiles and I must say I was really quite blessed by the profiles that they gave me. I realise why I wasn't so happy in my job with regards to certain aspects. My team's profile is traditional, serious, reserved, shy and like to stick to status quo. My profile deviates from the majority, I am serious too but I am open to change, warm, and socially bold (ahem, according to my test that is). Realise there is a diff between shyness and introvertedness. I am in the middle of introvertedness and extrovertedness but I am not shy- I am socially bold. Being introverted means enjoying being by oneself? While shy means u dun like attention on yrself. I think I rather enjoy spending time with myself, but I guess I do like certain attention on myself. Yups..anyway my boss had quite a high score for being serious and traditional. I realise I like changes, I don't like to stick to the same things. Its really weird how my colleagues see me, and some made remarks like since when am I NOT extroverted, or stuffs about how noisy I am, and this colleague said they cannot imagine me being by myself or keeping quiet. Hmmm..which is really strange with a different crowd of ple cos I can be very quiet..I'm sure u all know that.
Anyway its good lar....helps me to understand myself better and hopefully my colleagues too. I had another extremely high score in being rule conscious (aka set aside personal wishes to fulfil obligations) and perfectionistic, and some colleagues were shocked. They said, I thought u are the least rule conscious! Diaoz.. well to me, many of my social and religious convictions are unshakeable but perhaps the director who shared with me was right- that I take a dispassionate view towards work, hence my rule consciousness doesn't really come out in the wk place cos my convictions exist more in religious and social beliefs.
There's where the tension comes cos I am open to change (he said I liked to give ple chance and have an open mind) and yet I am rule conscious. Ha....high tension level!
Anyway I duno who is reading this, pls tell me if u think the above description of me is true. =)
Had a good break, yups, tmr is monday again and back to work. Had a good time reflecting abt life and my future too, standing on the boat. Praying and singing to God and reading the bible. Writing prayers in a little paper in the hotel. =) God is good, always. Prayed for Jon. Prayed for me. Yeah, I really like thailand and the ple are so warm and frenly and polite. Thought abt poverty and missions. Hmm..how to reach the world? How to reach my colleagues? They are open to me, but how and when...and how? Pray for future.. And hoping that the future includes him, and his would include mine.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Everything in its time
hi, had a good time yesterday at steamboat! Glad to be able to spend time with my loved one! Anyway starting from yesterday night, Jon and I are gonna be taking a 2 months break. I really dunno how I'm gonna get past these two months. :( Cos every morning and night we will be on the phone plus smses thru out the day. But we both agree that we need time out to resolve our own issues, to think abt our values and compatibility. My conclusion- the reason we are like that is cos we both love God and we want to put Him first, and we can't compromise on our spiritual values. And we love each other too much to see each other unhappy. Though painful, I know that this is gonna be good. So God, pls lead us through this time and Holy Spirit, do not take away Yr joy of salvation fr us. Keep us close to you!
On another note, I will be going on a company retreat to Phuket starting this fri all the way to sunday night. So its a good break! Yay...and I think I may get to snorkel. There will be beach games and team building etc. =) Yup and Thursday night I'm gonna go to a makeup adult cg. Yups. Time to move on. Whoever thats reading this, I covet after yr prayer!! Pls pray for my future (and his as well). =)
On another note, I will be going on a company retreat to Phuket starting this fri all the way to sunday night. So its a good break! Yay...and I think I may get to snorkel. There will be beach games and team building etc. =) Yup and Thursday night I'm gonna go to a makeup adult cg. Yups. Time to move on. Whoever thats reading this, I covet after yr prayer!! Pls pray for my future (and his as well). =)
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy V-day!
Hi! Happy V-day to one and all. Its a time to show yr love to the ple who matter to you. And the ultimate lover is God, whose love is the greatest of all! =) Its my first V-day spending it with someone special and I love. But we have got so many issues to sort out too. Love will conquer all is a myth.
I wish that like God, I can also be the ultimate lover. But after all the things I've said and done, i realise that my love is definitely not so noble and falls short. Especially when one is IN the relationship, then its not so easy to stay cool/detached or to do the wisest thing that one can do. This morning I was reading the newspapers, it said that there were ple who had heart attack after a "heart break"-something that breaks and overwhelms their hearts and it occurs more in girls. Maybe guys really wonder why girls are so emotional. I guess I am a very emotional being, and crying helps me to feel release, especially all the negativity within me that is hard to express. I think I am not a very good communicator when it comes to sharing. Maybe I take after my dad, to him cooking a meal is loving. =)
Have said before in previous posts that love IS wanting the best for the other party. I pray with all of my heart that God will keep the one I love happy and safe. And I entrust to Him my loved one. =)
I'm sorry that there are times when I've hurt those around me. Especially those I love. I wish that I can become a better person.
I wish that like God, I can also be the ultimate lover. But after all the things I've said and done, i realise that my love is definitely not so noble and falls short. Especially when one is IN the relationship, then its not so easy to stay cool/detached or to do the wisest thing that one can do. This morning I was reading the newspapers, it said that there were ple who had heart attack after a "heart break"-something that breaks and overwhelms their hearts and it occurs more in girls. Maybe guys really wonder why girls are so emotional. I guess I am a very emotional being, and crying helps me to feel release, especially all the negativity within me that is hard to express. I think I am not a very good communicator when it comes to sharing. Maybe I take after my dad, to him cooking a meal is loving. =)
Have said before in previous posts that love IS wanting the best for the other party. I pray with all of my heart that God will keep the one I love happy and safe. And I entrust to Him my loved one. =)
I'm sorry that there are times when I've hurt those around me. Especially those I love. I wish that I can become a better person.
Friday, February 10, 2006
What is faith?
I like this article a lot..and it totally expresses how I feel.
I was talking to someone on Monday, and he was asking why after being a christian for 1 year, he still didn't receive any blessings from God. I told him that he has the wrong concept of God. The real God whom we serve doesn't just provide us with material blessings. But real faith is the substance of things hoped for and prove of the things unseen. Isn't that what the gospel is about? That our true reward is in heaven? Therefore I praise God and take joy in partaking in Jesus's sacrifice on the cross. Is the man who remains poor less spiritual or has less faith than the prosperous man? I don't think so. And sometimes we can mislead young christians by telling them that being a christian=a blessed life. Ple lose their faith because they don't see this happening in their lives. I believe in God's miracles and provision. But we need to balance that with good teaching that being a christian is also about bearing His cross! =)
The Prayer of Jabez falls short in Africa
by David Batstone
Bruce Wilkinson, author of the best-selling book The Prayer of Jabez, made a big splash nearly four years ago when he announced his ambitious plan to help children suffering from AIDS in Africa.
Not everything for Wilkinson has gone according to plan, unfortunately. A page one feature in the Dec. 19 The Wall Street Journal captures the sad tale in a nutshell: "In 2002 Bruce Wilkinson, a Georgia preacher whose self-help prayer book had made him a rich man, heard God's call, moved to Africa and announced his intention to save one million children left orphaned by the AIDS epidemic. In October [2005], Wilkinson resigned in a huff from the African charity he founded. He abandoned his plan to house 10,000 children in a facility that was to be an orphanage, bed-and-breakfast, game reserve, Bible college, industrial park and Disneyesque tourist destination in the tiny kingdom of Swaziland. What happened in between is a story of grand hopes and inexperience, divine inspiration and human foibles. ¿[H]is departure left critics convinced he was just another in a long parade of outsiders who have come to Africa making big promises and quit the continent when local people didn't bend to their will."
It is not my aim to gloat at Wilkinson's failure. To the contrary, I mourn what this means for the millions of African children in crisis who apparently will not benefit from his efforts. I also want to honor Wilkinson's desire to help the least fortunate. It would have been easy for him to take the wealth he gained from his book sales and live a life of personal comfort.
This chain of events, however, should not pass without a moment of theological reflection. The "blessed life" that Wilkinson has helped to promote carries with it a number of assumptions about where God is present in the world, and how God acts in response to the prayers of the faithful.
The Prayer of Jabez is based on a passage out of the book of Chronicles, in which a devoted man named Jabez asks God for a favor: "Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from hurt and harm!" The fact that God honors Jabez'
prayer and blesses him with great riches indicates to Wilkinson a God-principle. If we in pure heart ask God for a blessing - and do so using the very words that Jabez prayed - then God will bring wondrous gifts into our life. As The Wall Street Journal reports, Wilkinson interprets the wild commercial success of his books (roughly 20 million copies sold combined) as yet another proof of the miraculous power of the Jabez prayer. In other words, it worked for Jabez, it worked for Wilkinson, and now it should work for you.
With the fiasco in Africa now behind him - and the full Journal report makes clear that fiasco is the appropriate term - I wonder if Wilkinson has reconsidered his theology.
Maybe because I spent so many years in poor regions of the globe I could never accept the prayer-in-blessing-out approach to faithful living. Straight to the point, I have known too many devoted Christians for whom life did not bring them material blessing. Their children still died of infectious diseases that
plagued their village. They could not avoid the violence that dictators and ideologues so often use to cow the powerless. Their territory did not expand because their only path for survival was a daily labor with their hands. Yet they did not lose faith, or cease praying for God's blessing.
As I ponder on their lives, I find a more fitting theology for God's presence and action in the world to be laid out in the book of Hebrews. There we are encouraged to have "faith in things not yet seen," and are offered models of individuals who tried to lead devoted lives that honor God. We read that some of them did receive great material blessings, while others ended up in the dens of lions or stoned due to their principled living. We learn, in other words, that God does hear their prayers and loves them profoundly, but it does not always bring them material riches or expanded territory.
Wilkinson's doctrine in fact implies that social structures are immaterial. An individual reciting the right prayer can transcend an AIDS epidemic in his or her village or escape being bought and sold into slavery (like 27 million people on this planet yet today). Perhaps now that Wilkinson has immersed himself in Africa, he better understands that the curse of poverty is not a spiritual punishment, or an indication of a lack of faith. To bring blessings to the orphans and widows of Africa, a dramatic shift in values - political,
economic, and personal - will be required. And that challenge cannot be owned by Africans alone; it falls squarely on the shoulders of us in rich nations, who enjoy such great material "blessings."
Just like the next Bible reader, I could pick out individual passages that seem to suggest that God will give us whatever we desire as long as we ask for it with a pure heart. "You can even move this mountain" with such a prayer, as Jesus teaches his disciples in the gospels. I do not summarily discount these passages, nor do I assume that we should never pray for rain in a time of drought.
But the weight of the biblical message balances heavily toward a prayer life that yields courage, love, and compassion to do the will of God. The expectation of material gain and miraculous blessings may even distract us on that pilgrimage. The passage in Hebrews calls us, based on past heroes of the faith, "to run the race in front of us," confident that devoting our lives to God's work is all the reward we will ever need.
I was talking to someone on Monday, and he was asking why after being a christian for 1 year, he still didn't receive any blessings from God. I told him that he has the wrong concept of God. The real God whom we serve doesn't just provide us with material blessings. But real faith is the substance of things hoped for and prove of the things unseen. Isn't that what the gospel is about? That our true reward is in heaven? Therefore I praise God and take joy in partaking in Jesus's sacrifice on the cross. Is the man who remains poor less spiritual or has less faith than the prosperous man? I don't think so. And sometimes we can mislead young christians by telling them that being a christian=a blessed life. Ple lose their faith because they don't see this happening in their lives. I believe in God's miracles and provision. But we need to balance that with good teaching that being a christian is also about bearing His cross! =)
The Prayer of Jabez falls short in Africa
by David Batstone
Bruce Wilkinson, author of the best-selling book The Prayer of Jabez, made a big splash nearly four years ago when he announced his ambitious plan to help children suffering from AIDS in Africa.
Not everything for Wilkinson has gone according to plan, unfortunately. A page one feature in the Dec. 19 The Wall Street Journal captures the sad tale in a nutshell: "In 2002 Bruce Wilkinson, a Georgia preacher whose self-help prayer book had made him a rich man, heard God's call, moved to Africa and announced his intention to save one million children left orphaned by the AIDS epidemic. In October [2005], Wilkinson resigned in a huff from the African charity he founded. He abandoned his plan to house 10,000 children in a facility that was to be an orphanage, bed-and-breakfast, game reserve, Bible college, industrial park and Disneyesque tourist destination in the tiny kingdom of Swaziland. What happened in between is a story of grand hopes and inexperience, divine inspiration and human foibles. ¿[H]is departure left critics convinced he was just another in a long parade of outsiders who have come to Africa making big promises and quit the continent when local people didn't bend to their will."
It is not my aim to gloat at Wilkinson's failure. To the contrary, I mourn what this means for the millions of African children in crisis who apparently will not benefit from his efforts. I also want to honor Wilkinson's desire to help the least fortunate. It would have been easy for him to take the wealth he gained from his book sales and live a life of personal comfort.
This chain of events, however, should not pass without a moment of theological reflection. The "blessed life" that Wilkinson has helped to promote carries with it a number of assumptions about where God is present in the world, and how God acts in response to the prayers of the faithful.
The Prayer of Jabez is based on a passage out of the book of Chronicles, in which a devoted man named Jabez asks God for a favor: "Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from hurt and harm!" The fact that God honors Jabez'
prayer and blesses him with great riches indicates to Wilkinson a God-principle. If we in pure heart ask God for a blessing - and do so using the very words that Jabez prayed - then God will bring wondrous gifts into our life. As The Wall Street Journal reports, Wilkinson interprets the wild commercial success of his books (roughly 20 million copies sold combined) as yet another proof of the miraculous power of the Jabez prayer. In other words, it worked for Jabez, it worked for Wilkinson, and now it should work for you.
With the fiasco in Africa now behind him - and the full Journal report makes clear that fiasco is the appropriate term - I wonder if Wilkinson has reconsidered his theology.
Maybe because I spent so many years in poor regions of the globe I could never accept the prayer-in-blessing-out approach to faithful living. Straight to the point, I have known too many devoted Christians for whom life did not bring them material blessing. Their children still died of infectious diseases that
plagued their village. They could not avoid the violence that dictators and ideologues so often use to cow the powerless. Their territory did not expand because their only path for survival was a daily labor with their hands. Yet they did not lose faith, or cease praying for God's blessing.
As I ponder on their lives, I find a more fitting theology for God's presence and action in the world to be laid out in the book of Hebrews. There we are encouraged to have "faith in things not yet seen," and are offered models of individuals who tried to lead devoted lives that honor God. We read that some of them did receive great material blessings, while others ended up in the dens of lions or stoned due to their principled living. We learn, in other words, that God does hear their prayers and loves them profoundly, but it does not always bring them material riches or expanded territory.
Wilkinson's doctrine in fact implies that social structures are immaterial. An individual reciting the right prayer can transcend an AIDS epidemic in his or her village or escape being bought and sold into slavery (like 27 million people on this planet yet today). Perhaps now that Wilkinson has immersed himself in Africa, he better understands that the curse of poverty is not a spiritual punishment, or an indication of a lack of faith. To bring blessings to the orphans and widows of Africa, a dramatic shift in values - political,
economic, and personal - will be required. And that challenge cannot be owned by Africans alone; it falls squarely on the shoulders of us in rich nations, who enjoy such great material "blessings."
Just like the next Bible reader, I could pick out individual passages that seem to suggest that God will give us whatever we desire as long as we ask for it with a pure heart. "You can even move this mountain" with such a prayer, as Jesus teaches his disciples in the gospels. I do not summarily discount these passages, nor do I assume that we should never pray for rain in a time of drought.
But the weight of the biblical message balances heavily toward a prayer life that yields courage, love, and compassion to do the will of God. The expectation of material gain and miraculous blessings may even distract us on that pilgrimage. The passage in Hebrews calls us, based on past heroes of the faith, "to run the race in front of us," confident that devoting our lives to God's work is all the reward we will ever need.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Keep me pure before U
Heh...
Service was oki today, a simple msg on the House of God. Yeah, and I really treasure God's house. It was a good reminder. Anyway Delirious was here today and it was refreshing way of praise and worship. I really like the song Majesty.
Majesty (Here I Am)
Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty
Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
I was most touched when I sang the verse, knowing I am a sinful man, and I am just so grateful knowing that the Father welcomed me with open arms into His presence. =)
There's quite a lot of things that have happened in my life that I really dunno why. But I will hold on to God. I think there are also quite a few of unresolved hurts. That I would need to resolve and heal. But anyway I really wanna move on le. And to have an expectation of my future! =)
Service was oki today, a simple msg on the House of God. Yeah, and I really treasure God's house. It was a good reminder. Anyway Delirious was here today and it was refreshing way of praise and worship. I really like the song Majesty.
Majesty (Here I Am)
Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty
Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
I was most touched when I sang the verse, knowing I am a sinful man, and I am just so grateful knowing that the Father welcomed me with open arms into His presence. =)
There's quite a lot of things that have happened in my life that I really dunno why. But I will hold on to God. I think there are also quite a few of unresolved hurts. That I would need to resolve and heal. But anyway I really wanna move on le. And to have an expectation of my future! =)
Friday, February 03, 2006
Me in office at 4pm..drinking green tea
I love drinking tea. Hot tea leaves swirling at the bottom of the cup. Slowly the water becomes coloured.I smell the refreshing scent coming up from the cup. A sip down my throat. Mmmm...sooths my throat after a bad day, warms me during a cold day and perks me up when I am sleepy. =)
I love writing, reading...Curling up on my bed and reading a good book. I love long walks down the beach looking at the sea licking the sand, shimmering under the sunlight and moon light. The smell of salt all over my face.
I love...looking at mountains..standing on top of a mountain looking down. I love looking down at Singapore from my balcony. Every night I look out of the balcony at the lights on the road. Windows across my block that are still brightly lighted up.
Heh..who am I? =P Am I a technical and mathematical person who goes to office fr 9-6 everyday, seated down at my desk in front of the computer looking at numbers? I really wish for more. And there must be more to life. =)
I love writing, reading...Curling up on my bed and reading a good book. I love long walks down the beach looking at the sea licking the sand, shimmering under the sunlight and moon light. The smell of salt all over my face.
I love...looking at mountains..standing on top of a mountain looking down. I love looking down at Singapore from my balcony. Every night I look out of the balcony at the lights on the road. Windows across my block that are still brightly lighted up.
Heh..who am I? =P Am I a technical and mathematical person who goes to office fr 9-6 everyday, seated down at my desk in front of the computer looking at numbers? I really wish for more. And there must be more to life. =)
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